Dear Prudence,
I’m a woman. More than 20 years ago, as a freshman in college, I briefly dated a guy in my dorm. He was actually my first kiss. I broke it off because I wasn’t really into him, and he took it pretty hard. He later started dating my roommate. They were together for several years and lived together after we graduated, until she broke up with him. He then fell off the map, but I occasionally search his name online just to see if he’s resurfaced. Well, he did! He was arrested for child pornography in a dramatic FBI raid. I feel really weird about the whole thing, and I want to talk to someone about it. But the only person who knew him that I’m still in touch with is my old roommate. It is entirely possible she doesn’t know this happened. Should I bring it up to her? Should I leave things alone? I don’t want to bring up any trauma for her (she’s very happily married). We obviously didn’t know this about him at the time.
—Arrested Ex