Wedding Woes

Classic: Old cat is ruining my life.

My cat is 18. The cat harasses me all night. She is deaf and toothless, and traumatized if I shut a door to escape her. When I take a shower, she howls. My young kids love her. She is expensive because of medicine and special food—$200 in a month excluding vet visits. We have not gone on a family vacation for years. When I talked to the vet about putting her to sleep, they said she is a healthy animal with manageable concerns and that they would not do that. She is friendly and alert but she is ruining my life.

Re: Classic: Old cat is ruining my life.

  • Wtf does this person want prudie to do?
    Like .... 
    CharmedPam
  • Dear Prudie,

    Are you interested in owning a cat?
    charlotte989875CharmedPamMesmrEwe
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You stick it out and never have another pet. You adopted a cat and committed to loving and caring for her for the duration of her natural life. You don't just bail because she's inconvenient. 

    Some people just shouldn't have pets. 
    banana468charlotte989875ei34
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I didn’t take a vacation the last three years of my cat’s life (she finally passed at 23 years old) because she would become an anxious depressed mess without me home. She wouldn’t eat or even drink water. She was expensive and required daily medical care. I like sleeping with the door closed but she wanted it open. Then when it was open she would turn around and close it and then scream it was closed. But I loved her and I made the end of her life as smooth and comfortable as possible because that’s what you do when you sign on to have a pet. 


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    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • levioosa said:
    I didn’t take a vacation the last three years of my cat’s life (she finally passed at 23 years old) because she would become an anxious depressed mess without me home. She wouldn’t eat or even drink water. She was expensive and required daily medical care. I like sleeping with the door closed but she wanted it open. Then when it was open she would turn around and close it and then scream it was closed. But I loved her and I made the end of her life as smooth and comfortable as possible because that’s what you do when you sign on to have a pet. 
    whew 23!!! Impressive!
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think I might have lost all respect for Prudie. 

    A: After I give this advice, I’m going to have to go into the witness protection program, but here it is: Put down Fluffy. You are being held hostage to the emotional demands—probably driven by feline dementia at this point—of a cat that is about 90 in human years. Ol’ Fluff has lived a long, long good life. You will live a much shorter, less good life if you don’t get some sleep and a vacation. Yes, one has an obligation to an elderly, beloved pet, but you’ve more than met yours. Of course your vet won’t put down Fluffy; she’s a gold mine. But you can take her to the nearest humane society shelter. When you explain she’s 18, deaf, toothless, and has a host of medical conditions, they will break out the Fatal-Plus. You explain to your kids that you have loved Fluffy since before they were born, but she is very old and sick now—she can’t sleep at night, she is going downhill, and you don’t want her to suffer. (OK, maybe she’s not suffering, but you are.) I do know what you’re going through. Yes, I am a late-life dog person, but I’m a lifelong cat person. I have had cats since I was 25, and I have two now. I’m in an abusive relationship with one—I love him, feed him, and stroke him, and he will only give affection to my husband. One is a 15-year-old who any minute should start his daily howling for food which lasts all afternoon. (Yes, I give him a snack, and yes, I have had him checked out with the vet to the tune of a college semester’s worth of tests. He’s fine! He just likes to send me to the brink of mental collapse.)
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hey Prudie. What the fuck. 


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    MyNameIsNotcharlotte989875MissKittyDangerei34
  • You stick it out and never have another pet. You adopted a cat and committed to loving and caring for her for the duration of her natural life. You don't just bail because she's inconvenient. 

    Some people just shouldn't have pets. 
    Honestly, this is part of the reason that we don't!  Aside from allergies there's a great concept "in theory" about how fun an animal is.  But we would obviously feel the need to put the finances towards the care of an ailing animal which can mean thousands and thousands of dollars.  

    DH and I have said that it's not the financial commitment we want to make and if you can't make it the solution isn't "just put the animal down". 
    mrsconn23MyNameIsNotei34MesmrEwe
  • banana468 said:
    You stick it out and never have another pet. You adopted a cat and committed to loving and caring for her for the duration of her natural life. You don't just bail because she's inconvenient. 

    Some people just shouldn't have pets. 
    Honestly, this is part of the reason that we don't!  Aside from allergies there's a great concept "in theory" about how fun an animal is.  But we would obviously feel the need to put the finances towards the care of an ailing animal which can mean thousands and thousands of dollars.  

    DH and I have said that it's not the financial commitment we want to make and if you can't make it the solution isn't "just put the animal down". 
    Yep, we also don't have a pet because of the commitment and I am less than interested in all the shit (pun intended) that goes along with owning a pet. I have never been a driver of wanting to own a pet and I work from home all day, therefore I'd be the default caretaker.  That's all the nopes from me, dawg.  DefConn gets his pet fix wit family and friend's pets.   

    We may let him get fish, but he also has to keep his room clean. So...no pets.  LOL 
    banana468MyNameIsNot
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    levioosa said:
    Hey Prudie. What the fuck. 
    Is this old prudie, or old-old-prudie or ol old OLD prudie, I wonder?
    Because I"m pretty sure it's not currently new prudie.

    (There is a point where you can't afford it--as someone who was quoted 10k before, I know that.  But you swing what you can.  pets are hard that way)
    mrsconn23short+sassy
  • I'm having all the feels with this one.  While not to the extent the LW describes, in her final year of life, our cat Nip went from being very easy to care for to difficult.  Her medication was $75/month and she became "hit or miss" with the litter box.  We were pretty much having to clean up her accidents on an almost daily basis.  At least they were usually on tile, near her litter box, lol.  Not fun, but it was a miniscule sacrifice for all the love and joy she brought into our lives.

    I'd happily clean up after every poop and piss, if we could have had more years with her!

    Anyway, LW.  Suck it up.  In all likelihood, your cat will pass away naturally within the next 1-2 years.  Or something else will pop up with the cat's health that will necessitate the cat needing to be put to sleep.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    $200/mo, Plus vet bills PLUS the cost of medication and time to take care of their additional care needs (the average is $90-200/visit in the US, if it's going 1-4 extra times a month, with time away from work for appointments, that adds up!)...  Without knowing the LW's financial nor life situation it's tough to say that this is manageable or not which it may not be for the long term (it's one thing to go 6-12mo it's another thing for it to continue on indefinitely) to the point that much as they love the animal, it's not sustainable, nor potentially healthy for either party, and it's time to think about end of life care.. 

    What's manageable to the Vet may not be to the LW pet's owner - at some point people have their lines in the sand along with what's fair for the animal itself.  Not all pet owners have that kind of life to be able to do so nor living situation that it's even allowable for some late life needs of pets.  LW has to determine their own line in the sand even if it means finding a different vet to handle the transition it's not always simple decision..  If LW is on their way to financial ruin, for an 18yo cat in health decline, LW has to make the smartest decision for the situation and the animal.  

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    ILoveBeachMusickerbohlCasadena
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I also feel that the quality of life has to be considered. I personally, don't want to be kept alive if my quality of life isn't decent and that doesn't mean the same to everyone, so I don't think a pet should be kept alive just because they can be. However, I do agree with kerbohl that LW just seems annoyed. I get it though. We are going through this now with our older dog. She wakes up a lot to go out and eat. H and I haven't had a decent nights sleep in months. Our sleep schedule is staggered. Think newborn baby. We are lucky we have found a house/dog sitter who works for a veterinarian so we can at least both go to DD's this weekend and when the baby arrives.
    MesmrEwekerbohlCasadenaei34
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    kerbohl said:
    $200 per month EXCLUDING vet fees is a lot.  I understand the importance of making a financial commitment to a pet.  Believe me, I spent a lot on my dog last year to keep her alive.  But I also don't think that pet ownership should only be for "weathly" people who can afford when a pet might get expensive.  I feel sorry for those who have to make the decision when they can't afford to care for a pet when it gets sick.  It isn't always irresponsible people, it could be people desperate for pet companionship that can afford to buy and feed a pet but not afford unseen medical expenses. 
    That being said, I don't think the bills are really why the LW is hoping to put down the  cat.  They just seem annoyed by how much work this cat has become.  I say they suck it up.  I can't leave my dog with anyone now because of her condition, and she's only 6 so I can expect quite a few years of not going on vacation at the same time as my husband.  So, I'll go on vacations close to home that are pet friendly - really not a sacrifice.  I didn't go on vacation for the last four years of my one rabbit's life, because he was too bonded to me, and if I left him for longer than three days he would go on a hunger strike.  There are things you can do to keep the cat comfortable and keep your sanity.  
    I don't know why I'm stuck in the box.

    If it were $200 every month, that would be more understandable. But the letter says $200 in a month. That's a one time, not on-going expense. If you have a cat that needs $200/mo of treatment, they have a serious illness to the extent that her vet wouldn't have refused to put them down. 

    I agree with you though. It's not about the money, she doesn't like the cat and is pulling out everything she can think of to try to seem more sympathetic. 
    charlotte989875levioosa
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