Thursday Thoughts

Jstump2

We went and looked at the house I was really excited about yesterday. Once finding out the disclosures and price he is looking for as well as seeing the amount of updates still needed we decided not to make an offer. I am a little bummed because I really loved the location and on paper it sounded so perfect for us. Is there an emotional support group for house hunting? Lol. I feel like I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. 

The house we are in now H bought when we were dating but not living together yet (I was in school) I tagged along for the process but it was not nearly this draining!

We have a big project at work and I am trying to find some motivation. I am ready for the weekend, even though its supposed to be rainy here.

MyNameIsNot

House hunting is the worst. It was bad enough a year ago, but the current market is a nightmare. I have a friend who was looking for a while, but just decided to hold off and wait a year to see if the market stabilizes a bit. She was seeing the same thing that everything is either under contract the second it hits the market, or it's overpriced and needs a ton of work. 

Our modem shit the bed yesterday. I was still working a couple of minutes after 5 and realized I'd totally lost internet. After a lot of resets and tech support, we took an impromptu trip to best buy for a new router and modem. I haven't been inside a best buy in years, but $200 later, I'm happy to have functioning internet again. 

I'm also ready for the weekend. It's been a long week and we didn't get much down time last weekend. A rainy weekend reading and relaxing sounds pretty awesome right now.  

Jstump2

MyNameIsNot We are definitely finding the same! I keep thinking it will start trending back to normal but no luck! I am also having some major anxiety about my oldest starting Kindergarten in the fall. Staying where we lives now means she will have to go into a before and after school program as well as full day of school. She has been watched by my MIL since she was a baby and never been away from family that long. If we move to the same city or neighboring to my in-laws she can go to her house before and after school. I am literally almost crying thinking about how badly I want that but it seems impossible right now.

charlotte989875

My MIL watches baby M a few afternoons a week and did something unsafe (let him sleep on the couch, she was next to him) and H has to talk to her about it today. I hate this. She was definitely wrong but I don’t think she thought it was bad. She’d never do anything intentionally unsafe but this was a big deal to me. I don’t want her to be upset either because she’s so kind & good to us and M. It really sucks. Has anyone had this happen?

The weather is beautiful today. We have a team meeting this afternoon and I’m telling them to just go enjoy the weather for that hour instead of being inside. I’m ready for spring to actually be here. 

MissKittyDanger

@charlotte989875 So maybe UO but when BK was a baby, she slept best on her belly. I was extremely nervous, but our dr said as long as someone is awake/right there, it's not an issue because you can watch them.
So we would let her nap on her belly if we were right there.

But again, this is definitely an UO and if your MIL did something you disagree with your H could say "no we don't think you did this to be mean but he cannot nap on the couch again"

Casadena

@charlotte989875 I'm sorry that's hard.  I would frame it more as "he has to sleep in his crib,nowhere else". I  I personally don't think it's a huge deal if she was right there watching (but it sounds like she was sleeping next to him??  Huge no!), but if your preference is that she not do that then that's definitely your right!  Good luck I'm sure it will be an uncomfortable conversation.

G was also a tummy sleeper literally as soon as he could roll over.  It scared the shit out of me for about the first week and I hardly slept.  

H is irritating me a lot lately.  Little stuff but omg.  I'm off today and enjoying my coffee and lounging on the couch.  I'll do productive stuff eventually. But wow it's nice to watch TV and sit alone with no one else around!

MyNameIsNot

@Jstump2, the kindergarten deadline just sucks. Hopefully there will be more houses coming onto the market in the spring and summer, but it doesn't seem like much. Usually spring break is when inventory really starts to pick up, but it's still slim pickings! 

Do you have any other options besides move or wait? Is renting for a year or something out of the question? Probably more trouble than it's worth to move twice.

mrsconn23

PRUDIE DAY!  It's grey and cloudy.  DH and I both had sinus pressure headaches last night because of the front that was moving in.  

I slept like crap last night.  3am is my brain's fave time to have irrational thoughts about all the things.  

I've been on the phone all damn morning. I go days without calling anyone, so being on the phone more than an hour is a lot for me.  

We did a preliminary planning sesh with DH's uncle for dinners in the Ozarks.  It's starting to feel real, LOL.  My fun residual issues from what I've been through the last few years is that I have a really hard time looking forward to positive things w/o my brain self-sabotaging and making me doubt happiness.  It's great, really great. 

levioosa

I hope you guys find a home that fits you guys soon @Jstump2. 

FFIL put an offer in on a house last night. It’s not exactly where we think he should be buying but they’re going to do what they want to do. Last time they bought we tried to give them advice about their area and then after they bought it they started having issues with all of the same suggestions/advice we had made and they had ignored. It was annoying. 

I’m ready for the weekend. I have an annoying amount of paperwork to catch up on at work. 

@charlotte989875 I’m sorry about the hard conversation. Infants shouldn’t sleep on the couch though. It’s dangerous for several reasons. I’ve personally received a ton of triage calls about baby rolling off the bed or couch and parents freaking out about it (understandably). I always have to tell them to take kid to the ED even if 9/10 times the kid will be okay but it’s not a call you want to have to make. 

ILoveBeachMusic

Sorry about the house @Jstump2. The market is crazy here too. 

I had my haircut yesterday. This is the third time I've gone to this person. My former person retired (i had been going to her for 36 years!). I'm not really happy with the way this new gal cuts my hair. I've tried to tell her what I want but it just doesn't look quite right. I have short, thick, curly hair. I like the way she colors it. It just doesn't seem to have much shape. She just doesn't seem to have "vision" for style. Any ideas on how to communicate to her that it need to have more shape to it?

I'm going to a friend's house for an early birthday lunch today. So far no calls from DD that we need to head to Chicago! 

short+sassy

@Jstump2, I'm so sorry to hear that!  I know how excited you all were for that house and having an inside track on it.  But you all are wise to not try and make a square peg fit in a round hole.  I know how tempting that can be with properties.  I hope everything still works out for you all on the timeline you want for your daughter starting school closer to your ILs.  But if it doesn't, I hope your daughter loves and thrives in the before/after program and in kindegarten.  Even if it is more hassle and stress for you and your H.

I am so frustrated that I had another bad night, last night.  From Sun.-Tues. night, I hadn't been tired when I should have gone to bed and didn't get enough sleep.  So Mon-Wed. of this week, I felt tired and lethargic all day at work.  Finally, last night, I felt sleepy at an appropriate time and went to bed looking forward finally having a full 8 hours of sleep. 

Except we had really bad thunderstorms at 3AM.  Our dog Izzy was terrified and woke me up.  She's a good girl and doesn't bark, but she climbed on me.  She was really shaking and my dog-momma heart can't ignore that.  So I snuggled and petted her and talked to her in a whisper.  I think my whisper finally woke my H up, though I had been trying to avoid that.  But at 3:40am, he took her into the living room and stayed with her there so I could get back to sleep.  Which unfortunately didn't happen for another 30 minutes.  And now...I feel just as bad and tired as I have for the rest of the week, ugh!  Obviously not the end of the world, but I'd been looking forward to a more perked up day.

I kind of have tomorrow off.  I'm taking a sick day because I have to get fasting bloodwork done for my routine endo appointment on Wed.  But Fridays are my half days anyway.  So the only difference as far as "true" free time is I can sleep in one hour longer and will be back home one hour earlier.

Other than that, it's a pretty slow day at work.  Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself, lol.  I'm going to try and get more accomplished on my life insurance exam studies.

ei34

I’m sorry about the house @Jstump2, and the extra school year deadline added in 
@charlotte989875 definitely a convo to have with her although I wouldn’t make it a big deal “hey! M only sleeps in his crib, he’s safest there and it really helps with his sleep training, thanks so much!” Hoping your MIL doesn’t take it as a slight. 

The quiet time sounds much needed @Casadena!

Have a zoom with my lawyer soon, I’m glad bc I have a lot of questions.  Was at the softball/baseball field yesterday from 5-7:30, so looking forward to nothing to do this evening!

ETA TK eating parts of my post 

Jstump2

Thank you for the kind words everyone!

@short+sassy Thank you! Luckily my daughter is an extrovert and she honestly probably will do great. I think I am projecting a little because I would have had a hard time when I was a child but I was very timid and shy.

@charlotte989875  my main advice is let your H do the talking. We had a few small things come up and My H always addressed them with his mom and she never repeated the same "mistake" twice.  My only other advise is to try and be as proactive as you can about your wishes moving forward. "Best" safe practice is a moving target and it is a lot to keep track especially when they already raised kids a different way.

 

ILoveBeachMusic

Jstump2 said:

Thank you for the kind words everyone!

@short+sassy Thank you! Luckily my daughter is an extrovert and she honestly probably will do great. I think I am projecting a little because I would have had a hard time when I was a child but I was very timid and shy.

@charlotte989875  my main advice is let your H do the talking. We had a few small things come up and My H always addressed them with his mom and she never repeated the same "mistake" twice.  My only other advise is to try and be as proactive as you can about your wishes moving forward. "Best" safe practice is a moving target and it is a lot to keep track especially when they already raised kids a different way.

 

I agree to the bolded. I appreciate when DD explains how they are doing things differently than we did when our kids were little. Things have changed so much over the years. I would never intentionally do anything against their wishes and she knows that so it is better to put it out there from the beginning.

charlotte989875

Thanks everyone! It’s definitely tough because I know she loves M so much but we’ve been clear that he can only sleep in his crib or she can hold him but no where else. I guess that’s why I was so shocked. I know safe sleep recommendations change (and serious no judgement here on what other people do!) we’re just not comfortable with anything but crib or with someone. She definitely wasn’t asleep but she wasn’t holding him either. We’re trying to wean him from that but that’s a story for another day! 

banana468

Agree that your H should be speaking up and saying that it's SO important that he sleeps where you say.

He can highlight ALL the reasons or can say, "Mom we were clear about this and it's important that you respect the rules we set up while you're watching him." 

Jstump2

Hmm did she say why she did it @ charlotte989875 ? I know the crib would be sooo far away sometimes and they would often wake up trying to get there. I know my parents/inlaws had a harder time holding for long periods of time because their arms/muscles would give out. Maybe a pack in play or bassinet for the living room would help.

charlotte989875

Jstump2 said:

Hmm did she say why she did it @ charlotte989875 ? I know the crib would be sooo far away sometimes and they would often wake up trying to get there. I know my parents/inlaws had a harder time holding for long periods of time because their arms/muscles would give out. Maybe a pack in play or bassinet for the living room would help.

That’s what we have so they don’t have to go upstairs. 

Jstump2

ahh @ @charlotte989875  then yeah, your H should be kind but firm that while you know she would never do anything to hurt baby she is not the parent and she needs to respect your wishes.

short+sassy

@charlotte989875, I debated not telling you this story.  But it's a good example of what can happen that you or your H are welcome to pass along as a cautionary tale if you want to.

My H was married twice before and has two daughters each from his previous marriages.  When his oldest was about one year old, she was sitting up next to him on the couch.  But then she started to fall off the couch and my H grabbed one of her legs out of reflex to keep her from hitting the ground and he broke it because babies are so little!

Thankfully, she didn't need to have any surgeries and didn't have any permanent injuries from it.  But, needless to say, it was a really traumatic few months for everyone while she healed, especially since that was prime time for her to have normally been practicing her walking.

And you better believe that he and his then wife were grilled by Child Protective Services at the hospital;  Totally understandable and it's good to hear that CPS is brought in when a baby has an unusual injury, but that was upsetting for them also on an already upsetting day.

MNNEBride

Almost Friday!  Work will be crazy busy in the next few weeks so I'm liking a "normal" kind of week.

The cleaning person just left.  It was her first time here and I think it went well.  We had someone else monthly for two months and then she got another full time job and wasn't available any more.  This one seemed to work out well and we scheduled again for next month.  It's a little weird having someone clean your home while you are there (wfh), but so nice when they are done.  I keep it up between cleanings and still do bathrooms and kitchen weekly (daily).  It also keeps up on the clutter because we need everything put away before she comes

MissKittyDanger

My mum just got her vax!!

By sheer fluke. Picking up milk, and asked pharmacist she knows and they had a free spot  

VarunaTT

I've been working my butt off at work, but it's not b/c I have overwhelming work, it's because our software has been jacking up all day and it's taking me about 10 minutes per task rather than the MAYBE 3 minutes per task.  I was muttering I would be faster going old school and just having a forms folder again.  But, I'm irritable and so there's that.  So far, my attorneys are happy to have me back in charge of their caseloads and my clients are really happy, so that's been a nice self-esteem boost here lately.

I'm struggling b/c I'm so tired when I leave work, but I don't really want to go be by myself right away.  I need a hobby, but everything seems so overwhelming.  So I go home, watch the same shows until I fall asleep, rinse and repeat.  I did drop by and see a good friend last night.  He was just back in town.  His mom died about 2 weeks ago and he's been trying to deal with her house and property in another state.  We basically just gave each other about a minute long hug and were like, Fuck aaaaaaallllllll this shit.

I was venting to my therapist last night and practically shouting b/c I'm just so angry and hurt, and have so many negative emotions.  He basically was like, I don't have much for you that's going to make it better, you're doing what you can, this is the part we just have to knuckle through, but you have a safe space here, with no judgement, and if you need to shout, just go ahead, it's fine.

I'm ready to not be at work, but it's going to be a hard weekend.  We have the benefit on Sunday for my friend who died.  And while I know it's going to be nice to come together and remember him, I also know it's going to be a maelstrom of shit show emotions for everyone.  I'm debating taking Monday off, but I already have to have Tuesday off and I don't want to hit my PTO bank that hard when I'm trying to build it back up.  I also have my 2nd vaccine shot tonight, so I'm not too sure that I won't be out tomorrow, so it'd be a big hit.  I'll know more tomorrow.

short+sassy

@VarunaTT, good luck with the second shot!  I hope it gives you a break and is easy on the symptoms.  I felt a little crappy after the second one, but I still went to work the next day and overall it wasn't a big deal.

Jen4948

Busy day today. My mother asked me to come to her house because my dad went out. I was trying to get work done. Noisy. My mom was talking on the phone and playing a computer game. But I probably had a more productive day today than I might have had otherwise.

GBCK

I got my shot tues....
I'm exhausted and running a slight temp since.

Its spring break, cases are surging here, and my work has shut down (again)

Ssdd

charlotte989875

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend @varunatt that’s so hard. You’ve had such a tough year even before that. 

missJeanLouise

((hugs)) Varuna. One foot in front of the other, you can do it. 

Here's a link to my favorite depression power ballad for you to play real loud if you need to. Xxx

https://youtu.be/B0sy7y54XAE