Post Wedding Brunch

knottieb5510a00ed07e5ef

We are hosting a post wedding brunch. I had it going to Aunts, Uncles, Parents and siblings. My husband has muddied the water and told a few aunts and uncles their children (all over 20, most over 30) can come. I do not feel cousins need invited to this event it is not a second wedding. What is the etiquette. 

Thank you, 

MobKaz

knottieb5510a00ed07e5ef said:

We are hosting a post wedding brunch. I had it going to Aunts, Uncles, Parents and siblings. My husband has muddied the water and told a few aunts and uncles their children (all over 20, most over 30) can come. I do not feel cousins need invited to this event it is not a second wedding. What is the etiquette. 

Thank you, 

Are you already married?
I do not necessarily agree that a verbal invitation is binding.  Send out invitations to those you wish to invite.  Be very specific with how they are addressed.  If and when family members of your husband question the invitation, he can clarify he misspoke and explain that the invitation is for them alone.

ei34

I think it’s okay that not every last wedding guest gets invited to the post-wedding brunch.  I would just try not to split up any families that traveled together. 

(Are you parents of the bride or groom? I notice you referred to your husband, just curious. )

short+sassy

Ugh!  My H did this, though for our wedding, which was even worse.  He happened to run into a casual friend and former coworker while he was downtown and, without thinking, just threw out an invite to our wedding.  We were having a small, intimate wedding that was capped at about 35 people.  So only our closest friends and family.  And here he goes and invites rando guy, that he hadn't even spoken to in almost a year (previous to that encounter).  My mom had to cut a couple who were family friends, jic this guy and his wife accepted the invite.  They didn't, but at least had given it a lot of thought.  I was actually shocked the guy didn't immediately decline the verbal invite.  My H and I got married in my hometown, which was 1500 miles away from where we all lived.  But it is a primo vacation spot.

Sorry for the story, your post brought up a re-occurrence of my angst, lol.  Technically, it is probably proper etiquette to still invite those specific cousins.  But, if it were me, I still wouldn't.  Here are my reasons why.  He didn't tell the cousins directly they were invited, he mentioned it to their parents.  Especially if this wasn't that long ago, He should call back and say something like, "Oops!  I'm so sorry.  I misspoke.  The brunch will be a much smaller event then the wedding and we are only inviting (list mentioned)."

The other reason is it sounds like this was only some of the first cousins.  That could potentially cause hurt feelings if some of the first cousins are arbitrarily invited, but not all of them.