Three months ago, I applied for my dream job in our current city. I didn’t think I’d get it—many people applied who seemed more qualified than me—but I figured I had nothing to lose. Three months later, I got the job offer, and I was ecstatic—until we got word my wife will be transferred 3,000 miles away for the next four years. With every other move, we’d gone together, building a new life in a new city alongside each other. But this time I just can’t seem to get excited. I’m devastated to say no to this job offer. And in the new city, we know no one, and career prospects for me are limited. Is it crazy to be in a long-distance marriage for four years? My wife is sad but open to the idea. I feel like a jerk for even proposing it. Kids are not a part of the equation, and we could financially make it work. It just seems like the “wrong” way to spend your late 20s/early 30s. We are both broken-hearted at the situation. What should we do?
—Dream Job, Nightmare Situation