Snarky Brides

I Was Appalled! Then I Searched the Web and Was Even More Appalled!

Last month one of my nieces asked me for my address so that she could send me a wedding invitation. Fantastic! The invitation came and there was a note that the couple wants monetary gifts only. Really?! Now we're not just telling people What to buy, we're telling them to only give money? Okay; I live in a different state than she does so that really makes it easier for me.

Last week I saw a conversation on facebook between this niece and her mother (my sister) about wedding plans. A shortage of money for the wedding came up. I quietly sent her a bit to help. That's how it should be: no fanfare. Two days later there's a post with a gofundme to raise money for her wedding! My first thought was, "Is the rest of the world so lacking in class or is it just my family?"

Today this niece is publicly thanking another of my sisters for giving her the idea to gofundme her wedding! So I decided to search the Web to get the answer to my question. There are hands out all over the place, and many articles supporting the practice! Miss Manners must be in a right tizzy over this breach of etiquette!

Re: I Was Appalled! Then I Searched the Web and Was Even More Appalled!

  • Last month one of my nieces asked me for my address so that she could send me a wedding invitation. Fantastic! The invitation came and there was a note that the couple wants monetary gifts only. Really?! Now we're not just telling people What to buy, we're telling them to only give money? Okay; I live in a different state than she does so that really makes it easier for me.

    Last week I saw a conversation on facebook between this niece and her mother (my sister) about wedding plans. A shortage of money for the wedding came up. I quietly sent her a bit to help. That's how it should be: no fanfare. Two days later there's a post with a gofundme to raise money for her wedding! My first thought was, "Is the rest of the world so lacking in class or is it just my family?"

    Today this niece is publicly thanking another of my sisters for giving her the idea to gofundme her wedding! So I decided to search the Web to get the answer to my question. There are hands out all over the place, and many articles supporting the practice! Miss Manners must be in a right tizzy over this breach of etiquette!
    Sounds like you've given the couple all the wedding gift they're going to get from you. Really tacky to crowd-fund a party; it's not a necessity of life.
  • I feel your frustration!  You are not the only one appalled.  I'm anti-Go Fund Me for just about anything.  Medical bills and funerals are about my only exceptions.  But, even then, it has to be someone I know because there are so many scams out there.  It's too much instant gratification.  Some people don't want to save for the things they want, especially when talking about luxuries.

    People should save for the wedding they want or throw the wedding they can afford.  Those are the two options.  Not hit up their guest list for donations.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • It's really just so tacky all around. I can't imagine doing a GFM for a wedding. 
  • That is tacky! If you can't afford to pay for your own wedding then you shouldn't have one.
  • GFM is a bit odd, but I think receiving cash makes sense. And in many cultures, this is the norm.

    For my wedding, I appreciate the gifts. But I was gifted a large and heavy expensive glass bowl. I have no use for this bowl (sorry). And it was a huge pain to transport on a plane.

    I think it's just easier on me (and on my guests) to give money. If someone gives a physical gift, of course I'll be happy. But I prefer giving and receiving useful things  ;)
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