Wedding Party

Wedding party rant

So this past Sunday I had my dream wedding. It was everything I could have asked for. And as much as I could not have been brought down from the wedding high at the time, it is really bothering me now. Well after our ceremony, we did pictures. All the guests that were not in pictures headed to the reception hall, and the family, and wedding party stayed behind. After family pictures, it was just the wedding party, and then finally they left and the my husband and I left for our gift exchange before our grand entrence so that everyone could get settled at the reception hall. 

However, instead of going to the reception hall the wedding party, excluding my amazing Matron of Honor, retreated to the man cave. Our Grand Entrence was no more than 30 or 45 minutes after the end of the ceremony. And of course most of our wedding party was not there to see it. I was shocked at the time, but to overwhelmed to really care. Then, there were several times when we wanted to have our first dance but once again they were all missing in action, (of course not my maid of honor). Also while we were out taking pictures with our wedding photographer, which I can say we did take a bit too long on that, they snuck off once again and hung out in the man cave for 30 minutes. 

I really just kind of feel like they did not want to be there. You know like when you were a kid and your mom made you go clothes shopping with her? I guess my wedding party felt like they were being forced to attend our wedding. I mean we fed them, gave them gifts and even housed them. My husband even gave them some dancing lessons the night before. You would think, even if they didn’t want to dance that they could at least look like they were having fun. Their excuse to my mom was that they are all just introverted and they don’t like big crowds. So am I, so was my Matron of Honor. It’s called respect. 

TLDR: Wedding Party left reception to hang out in man cave.

Re: Wedding party rant

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So this past Sunday I had my dream wedding. It was everything I could have asked for. And as much as I could not have been brought down from the wedding high at the time, it is really bothering me now. Well after our ceremony, we did pictures. All the guests that were not in pictures headed to the reception hall, and the family, and wedding party stayed behind. After family pictures, it was just the wedding party, and then finally they left and the my husband and I left for our gift exchange before our grand entrence so that everyone could get settled at the reception hall. 

    However, instead of going to the reception hall the wedding party, excluding my amazing Matron of Honor, retreated to the man cave. Our Grand Entrence was no more than 30 or 45 minutes after the end of the ceremony. And of course most of our wedding party was not there to see it. I was shocked at the time, but to overwhelmed to really care. Then, there were several times when we wanted to have our first dance but once again they were all missing in action, (of course not my maid of honor). Also while we were out taking pictures with our wedding photographer, which I can say we did take a bit too long on that, they snuck off once again and hung out in the man cave for 30 minutes. 

    I really just kind of feel like they did not want to be there. You know like when you were a kid and your mom made you go clothes shopping with her? I guess my wedding party felt like they were being forced to attend our wedding. I mean we fed them, gave them gifts and even housed them. My husband even gave them some dancing lessons the night before. You would think, even if they didn’t want to dance that they could at least look like they were having fun. Their excuse to my mom was that they are all just introverted and they don’t like big crowds. So am I, so was my Matron of Honor. It’s called respect. 

    TLDR: Wedding Party left reception to hang out in man cave.
    I mean, they did the only “job” there was to do. They showed up, on time, witnessed the ceremony. You are seriously squabbling about two 30 min periods of time where they weren’t around? Even if they had been in the hall, they didn’t have to dance. You said you had a wonderful time. So why now are you focusing on this? 


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    MyNameIsNotei34
  • I didn’t even really expect them to dance I just thought they could be there to celebrate my husband and I. It just kind of bugs me that instead of doing that they wondered off to have their own little gathering. I mean you throw a $10k party you kind of expect people to stick around for a little bit right? Especially people who are suppose to be our friends? I’m just trying to get it off my chest. Helps to complain to someone, and what better place than the internet.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Once the ceremony and photos are done, the WP is off duty. It sounds like they were in a separate room at the reception, enjoying themselves in a smaller group. 

    Remember, the point of the reception is to receive guests and thank them for coming to your ceremony, not to have a captive audience. Not everyone enjoys dancing, or even being at large, loud parties. They were at your ceremony, presumably participated in photos, and then enjoyed the duration of the reception as they chose. While I can understand that you're disappointed that your friends didn't see your dance, they aren't doing anything wrong to enjoy the evening from the side room. 
    ei34
  • As someone who sometimes gets overwhelmed in crowds and loud places, I can understand needing a break, though I don't think I'd disappear for quite that long, and certainly not during the grand entrance, spotlight dances, etc., especially if I was in the wedding party.  I would have waited until there wasn't quite as much going on. 

    Either way, while I understand why you are taken aback by this, try not to focus on it so much and try not to hold it against them. You say you were really happy with how your wedding went overall, so don't let other people's enthusiasm (or lack thereof) ruin how you feel about the day.

    This is where I’m at- I wouldn’t have done it but I also don’t know how much other face time they’d had with the rehearsal (if there was one), getting ready, ceremony. If they missed out on the fun, that’s their loss because it sounds like otherwise you had a great time! 

    I guess, for me, it also depends on where the man cave was- was it part of the party where anyone could go? If so I don’t think they were doing anything wrong. My venue had a private courtyard and some folks spent most of the time out there. Sure they missed the fun inside but that didn’t effect *my* fun. 
    Casadenashort+sassyflantastic
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I didn’t even really expect them to dance I just thought they could be there to celebrate my husband and I. It just kind of bugs me that instead of doing that they wondered off to have their own little gathering. I mean you throw a $10k party you kind of expect people to stick around for a little bit right? Especially people who are suppose to be our friends? I’m just trying to get it off my chest. Helps to complain to someone, and what better place than the internet.
    Let it go. 


    image
    MyNameIsNot
  • what's a man cave, in wedding terms? I thought that was, like, a cool basement
    I am curious about this also!

    To the OP.  I totally understand why you are disappointed and this hurt your all's feelings.  But don't let it bother you and rob some of the joy from that day.

    I don't think it's a reflection of how these friends feel about you all or that they didn't want to be at your wedding.  I see it more they felt uncomfortable/awkward in a larger party setting, so they retreated a few times to a more private place.  Though, admittedly, their timing was poor. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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