Wedding Woes

Fri-Yay

I hope all the Knotties taking a 4 day weekend enjoy themselves!

No big plans here for the 3 day weekend here.  I want to go see Wrath of Man and another friend wants to go too, so that should be fun.  Cruella is tonight!!!  Um, no Cruella was last night and I forgot.  Lord, my mind is going....badly.  

I realized last night that one of my problems is that yes, I'm starting to turn a corner with everything that's happened in the last year.  But a lot of the trauma of the last 7 months, last 2 especially, were associated with work.  So being here is very draining.  And being as busy as I am, it's just doubling down on that drain.  I really need to come in tomorrow and I think I'm just going to have to draw a boundary that I can't do it.  The 3 days will do me a world of good, just relaxing and not being here.  I'll hopefully be able to come back Tuesday with a far better bank behind in me.
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Re: Fri-Yay

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2021
    I hope the three day weekend refreshes you too @VarunaTT.  And tell me how Cruella is.  I’m rejoining my amc membership Tuesday.  There’s a few good movies I want to see.

    no big plans for the weekend.  M and I set up a date night for Saturday and my friend from out of town is coming in on Sunday so we may grill out or go downtown with her and her family.  I’m usually traveling on memorial day weekend but this year - this year it’s vacationing in my own city and loving it 😃 

    I have to give props to FabFitFun, while on the road, I noticed I missed the window to customize my seasonal box and missed out. I e-mailed them to see if there was a chance they can reopen it before sending it out and customer service sent a bunch of pictures with option 1,2,3 etc and to just email them my selections.

    My box arrived yesterday with none of my selections.  And very few things I liked!  Sad.  I emailed them to let them know, and they told me those selections didn’t catch in their system, and they were going to send me a box of the 5 items I had chosen without having to return what I already received. Score!

    i told them with customer service like that, they just secured another year outta me. 

  • It’s an absolutely glorious morning-blue skies, sunshine. And all weekend it will rain. So I’m taking an unscheduled morning off to enjoy it while it lasts!
  • BK weigh in
    34.5 inches tall {approx because lying down}
    26lbs!

    She was not thrilled with going to daycare after. Then she wanted her cake pop that we sent. Then she didn't wanna stay inside.
    Yep ... great times lol
  • BK weigh in
    34.5 inches tall {approx because lying down}
    26lbs!

    She was not thrilled with going to daycare after. Then she wanted her cake pop that we sent. Then she didn't wanna stay inside.
    Yep ... great times lol
    Oh my! Baby M weighed 23 pounds and he’s 9 months, lol. 
  • BK weigh in
    34.5 inches tall {approx because lying down}
    26lbs!

    She was not thrilled with going to daycare after. Then she wanted her cake pop that we sent. Then she didn't wanna stay inside.
    Yep ... great times lol
    Oh my! Baby M weighed 23 pounds and he’s 9 months, lol. 
    BK is a tiny human lmao
    What does Baby M fit into? She's still in 2T lol 
  • BK weigh in
    34.5 inches tall {approx because lying down}
    26lbs!

    She was not thrilled with going to daycare after. Then she wanted her cake pop that we sent. Then she didn't wanna stay inside.
    Yep ... great times lol
    Oh my! Baby M weighed 23 pounds and he’s 9 months, lol. 
    BK is a tiny human lmao
    What does Baby M fit into? She's still in 2T lol 
    He’s solidly in 12 months but pushing into 18. He’s a chunker, but he’s long too. 

    She’s such a tot! Hope you had a good birthday and can celebrate with your Mom! 
  • Staring down at the long work day today. It will be really busy for me. Then hike tonight and tomorrow. I have a facial scheduled tomorrow and I’m going to try to get my car smog checked. For some reason I can’t renew my registration until that happens. The car isn’t even ten years old. Sunday we have plans to have FSIL and her FI to hang out for the rest of the weekend. Debating if we should do steaks or regular hamburgers. Hmmm. 

    Good job! @banana468


    image
  • Slept in (even the baby slept until 7!!), had coffee, went to the store now hanging with the baby. It’s cold and raining so a perfect snuggle day off. 
  • I'm so excited for the weekend. No big plans, just happy to sleep in and relax a little. We're supposed to get a big storm tonight, but then nice for the rest of the weekend, so will get yard work done tomorrow before our game and then either a hike or river float depending on weather Sunday. Monday will be focused on getting everything ready to head to the beach!

    We're supposed to be doing this focused Friday thing at work where we have no meetings and actually work. But apparently some people didn't get the message, so I'm about to head into my third meeting of the morning. I need a day off. 
  • Ugh - vent:  DH is off today but found out his employer is telling all employees that as of 6/14 they are back to working in the office.

    We can make it work but I'm annoyed that it's just before summer when we planned to use the local camp affiliated with the school system and that lets out at 1.  It now means a daily pick up has to be done by me so he absolutely needs to do the drop off or we're both getting up early so I can get a work out in and can still be dressed to get the kids in for 8 AM since it's a camp that now only runs 5 hours. 

    The flippant concept that if you're a vaccinated adult then everything goes back to normal is beyond short sighted when your workforce has a large proportion of parents in it. 

  • That sucks @banana468. I’m convinced the only reason my company is keeping WFH until September is because of the amount of parents in our employees. It just seems unnecessary to bring workers back now (if everything has worked) when summer care seems up in the air for so many parents. 
  • UGHHH @banana468.  We just had a thread in my mom group about return to work and a lot of companies are being similarly short-sighted and honestly, rude, to their workers.  There's still a lot of program limitations for kids and a TON of daycares went out of business because of COVID.  Furthermore, MOST KIDS STILL CAN'T GET THE VACCINE.  I swear it's like we (the general 'we') have learned jack shit from COVID except how to be more cruel to everyone.  

    Tonight, we're heading to Costco and Trader Joe's.  It's been forever since I've been to either place.  

    Tomorrow, I'm going to try to make it to my nephew's ball game.  We're having a cookout with some friends and family.  

    Sunday and Monday, DH and DefConn may go do stuff. DH and FIL might also get the boat ready for the season. I have nothing planned.  I'm hoping to binge some Master of None and maybe Mare of Easttown.  I also have some Hulu stuff to catch up on.  I may see if a friend wants to get lunch and my fave boutique is having a bday sale that I might hit up. 

    I do need to continue to work on this blanket I'm stitching.  The baby is due in a few weeks.  I'm over half done (and I slacked pretty hard on and off for 2 months). I'm probably going to wait to send it after he's born so I can stitch his name and birthdate on it.  
  • That sucks @banana468. I’m convinced the only reason my company is keeping WFH until September is because of the amount of parents in our employees. It just seems unnecessary to bring workers back now (if everything has worked) when summer care seems up in the air for so many parents. 
    I am lucky that we can make this work and we do have the ILs in town as a backup but I'm really annoyed that a decision like this was made in a vacuum with no regard to how this affects parents AND there is no reason given for such short notice as the implication is that the WFH situation is not working yet NO criticism about DH's performance was given in this process. 

    Had they wanted to put this in place the time to do this should have been a month or more ago.  Then I would have looked into longer camp times for the kids. 

    I'll deal and will just have them in the house for the second half of the work day but it's annoying that now the parenting is on the remaining WFH parent.  Luckily my job was a WFH situation since long before Covid. 


  • banana468 said:
    That sucks @banana468. I’m convinced the only reason my company is keeping WFH until September is because of the amount of parents in our employees. It just seems unnecessary to bring workers back now (if everything has worked) when summer care seems up in the air for so many parents. 
    I am lucky that we can make this work and we do have the ILs in town as a backup but I'm really annoyed that a decision like this was made in a vacuum with no regard to how this affects parents AND there is no reason given for such short notice as the implication is that the WFH situation is not working yet NO criticism about DH's performance was given in this process. 

    Had they wanted to put this in place the time to do this should have been a month or more ago.  Then I would have looked into longer camp times for the kids. 

    I'll deal and will just have them in the house for the second half of the work day but it's annoying that now the parenting is on the remaining WFH parent.  Luckily my job was a WFH situation since long before Covid. 


    Right! That doesn’t give anyone time to sufficiently plan for camps or daycare, which you can’t just register for two weeks out. It’s like decision makers either 1) don’t have children or 2) have stay at home spouses and childcare just doesn’t register to them. 

    I think the more this happens we’re going to see even more women in the workforce be impacted because of everyone has to go back to the offices but daycares/ camps are closed to full who is going to stay home?
  • BK weigh in
    34.5 inches tall {approx because lying down}
    26lbs!

    She was not thrilled with going to daycare after. Then she wanted her cake pop that we sent. Then she didn't wanna stay inside.
    Yep ... great times lol
    Oh my! Baby M weighed 23 pounds and he’s 9 months, lol. 
    BK is a tiny human lmao
    What does Baby M fit into? She's still in 2T lol 
    He’s solidly in 12 months but pushing into 18. He’s a chunker, but he’s long too. 

    She’s such a tot! Hope you had a good birthday and can celebrate with your Mom! 
    Lol! I'd love to see them together to compare ;)

    We're actually having a tiny bday party next weekend! Lock down mildly lifting and hoping to be able to have it mostly outside. We've all got our 1st dose and it's 2 weeks post shot by then :)
  • kvruns said:
    H decided to get drunk last night and then had his 1st vaccine this morning. He's blaming the vaccine for feeling tired and stuff, it's like dude you're hungover but won't admit it, don't blame the vaccine 30 min after you got it 
    Eye roll GIFs - Get the best gif on GIFER
  • That sucks @banana468. I’m convinced the only reason my company is keeping WFH until September is because of the amount of parents in our employees. It just seems unnecessary to bring workers back now (if everything has worked) when summer care seems up in the air for so many parents. 
    Same. My company was straight up told us back in March that they didn't want to bring us back until school starts in the fall because they didn't want to make it difficult for parents dealing with uncertainty and limitations around summer child care.

    Meanwhile our dipshit governor is trying to prevent kids from wearing masks at school, even though they can't be vaccinated. So the fall is still going to be a clusterfuck. 
  • It's turned out to be a rough week and I also need to recharge this weekend.  More tenant vents.  Sorry it's a couple novellas, but I needed to get it off my chest, lol.

    We filed a small claims case against my deadbeat tenant on Wed.  Because her b/f damaged the house, we can also file for a different type of eviction.  However, we are going to wait until June 7th, until we file that one.  For small claims, people need to be personally served.  The writing is on the wall and she knows it.  So we are HOPING she's served on the small claims within the next week, while we still know where she lives.  Before she jets off into the night, never to be seen again.  If that happens, then we would need to hire a skip tracer to find her and serve her.  Just a lot more difficult, all around.  And, not to mention, even with a judgement, it's unlikely we will ever get a dime of the over $6K she owes us.

    And she accidentally didn't hang up the phone while talking to my H after the broken windows.  He overheard her talking to her friend that she needed to get to work.  Right.  To her friend, she also accused my H of breaking her tv.  He had gone to secure the windows (which she knew), but no one was home.  The door was WIDE open when he got there!  Not just unlocked.  Actually wide open.  Despite the fact that her b/f had just broken out all the windows.  I guess she had a tv on the couch under a blanket.  That was why she had called my H.

    She wanted to know if he had damaged the tv.  My H said she was polite about it and he told her he had not and had not seen a damaged tv, but then she was bitching to her friend about him.  My H didn't damage a damn thing.  He wasn't even near the couch.  I swear to God, if she ever brings up that tv, I would love to tell her, "We didn't damage your tv.  Maybe your b/f came back and damaged it.  Maybe a stray dog wandered into the house and jumped on it, on your couch.  But, ya know what? Sure. I'll cover that for you.  I'll subtract a generous $500 for a broken used tv, from the $6,140 that you owe us."  

    ---------------------------

    I also had one of my high maintenance tenants get on my last nerve.  There was an electrical problem at her house earlier this week, but the problem was actually on the energy company's side.  We told her that and told her to call Entergy.  She did.  They came out right away and fixed it.  But now she's freaking out that, "The house is going to burn down."  "It's not safe here."  The problem was 100% on Entergy's side.  It wasn't a big deal.  It wasn't even anything that affected safety.  But she launched into her usual histrionics and was demanding we have a licensed electrician come do an inspection of the house.  This is the SAME duplex, where we just did that two months ago.  Because the other tenants kept overloading the circuits.  We told her "no way".  We would provide her with that report, but were not going to waste another $250, just to give her "peace of mind".  But if she wanted to hire an electrical company to do that at her expense, she would need to coordinate it with us, but she could do that.  Ensue another conniption fit.

    At any rate, her rent is "temporarily" paid by a charity (happened before the pandemic).  Though that "temporary" has turned into 16 months.  I've actually been a little concerned because I've gotten the impression from my contact at the charity, that they have not been happy about how long it's been going on.  I don't think this arrangement is going to last much longer.  But, at any rate, she called the very next morning to complain to the charity about water leaking in her fridge and electrical problems and that we refuse to fix them.  So then I get a phone call from the charity.

    That lying bitch!  We did know about the leaking water in the fridge, but there are a lot of causes it could be...including "user error"...so we had been trying different fixes to see what will work.  We weren't ignoring her.  We've already been there once and tried two things.  Those didn't work, so the next thing we were going to do was flush the drain line.  We had an appointment two months ago to try that, but she had a family tragedy occur and left town.  We told her to call us when she got back, to reschedule.  She did...again, two months later...and my H was out there on May 20th.  Eureka!  The drain line was clogged.  We discovered the problem.  He drained it, but told her he would need to do it one more time after a few days had passed.  He was scheduled to do that yesterday but, I guess because she was now PO'ed about the electricity, she refused to let him in.  She has tons of time in her day because she refuses to get a job.  But then wastes 90 minutes of my H's time because she is too petty, to even text him not to come.  Oh HELL no!  

    YET, was telling that charity on Tues. that we won't do anything about the fridge.  OMG!  We were just there!  Only a few days before she told them that.  And had even diagnosed the problem.  Argh!  I always liked her, even though she is often "too much" and tells very tall tales (in general), but any goodwill I had for her is gone now.

    She's a month-to-month tenant and my H wants to give her a 30-Day Notice to Vacate.  Despite it all.  I'm not there yet.  This is where my being too nice sometimes gets me into trouble.  She would have nowhere to go, except to live with family, because she currently has no income and I doubt has first month's and security.  I really don't want to do that to her, so I hope she stops it with all her misplaced anger.  But between the lying and wasting my H's time, I'm getting to my last straw also.  Plus, as I've mentioned, she's not a "planner" and doesn't like to face reality.  There isn't a doubt in my mind that someday and probably soon, her gravy train with the charity is going to end, and then she will be freaking out about what to do.  She's expecting a large settlement from a car accident that happened almost 3 years ago.  It seems to me like her only plan has been to put her "hope" hat on, that the charity's help will last until she gets this supposed settlement. 
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  • @short+sassy you have the patience of Job!

    It's one thing to fall on crappy times but if you're clearly misrepresenting what's going on you are presenting yourself as someone who can't be trusted.  Sorry that you're dealing with two people like that. 
  • banana468 said:
    That sucks @banana468. I’m convinced the only reason my company is keeping WFH until September is because of the amount of parents in our employees. It just seems unnecessary to bring workers back now (if everything has worked) when summer care seems up in the air for so many parents. 
    I am lucky that we can make this work and we do have the ILs in town as a backup but I'm really annoyed that a decision like this was made in a vacuum with no regard to how this affects parents AND there is no reason given for such short notice as the implication is that the WFH situation is not working yet NO criticism about DH's performance was given in this process. 

    Had they wanted to put this in place the time to do this should have been a month or more ago.  Then I would have looked into longer camp times for the kids. 

    I'll deal and will just have them in the house for the second half of the work day but it's annoying that now the parenting is on the remaining WFH parent.  Luckily my job was a WFH situation since long before Covid. 


    Right! That doesn’t give anyone time to sufficiently plan for camps or daycare, which you can’t just register for two weeks out. It’s like decision makers either 1) don’t have children or 2) have stay at home spouses and childcare just doesn’t register to them. 

    I think the more this happens we’re going to see even more women in the workforce be impacted because of everyone has to go back to the offices but daycares/ camps are closed to full who is going to stay home?
    Ooohhh, I can do you all one better.

    As you all know because I have complained about a billion times lol, we had to go back to the office on May 18th LAST year, which was less then one week's notice at the time.  There were no daycares open.  Nothing except grocery/ hardware/ pharmacies and take-out food, stores were open.  The company I work for gave zero shits what people with children would do.  Either you came back to work.  Or you were fired.  That was the choice.  

    After TREMENDOUS protest.  The company begrudgingly said people could come back on June 1st, if they needed a little more time to arrange childcare. And okayed it with HR and their direct supervisor.

    So then the conundrum for some people was, normally they could have their parents watch their children, but those are people who were typically over 60 and vulnerable.  So they don't want to endanger their parents.  But then WTH are they supposed to do for childcare?

    I still don't know what the REAL essential workers (medical/grocery/etc.) had to do for childcare.  I'm sure a lot of them, and the stats say it was so heavily women, quit.  Because it was an ugly enough situation watching from the sidelines at my job.  

    The company bent a little more, though it wasn't advertised, and allowed some parents to partially WFH for (I think) the rest of last summer. 
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  • I don't know what parents who had to go back to work did last year but I know some daycares around here were open for only essential workers - our Y was one of them. The Y wasn't open for members to use, just for the daycare part. The company where my husband worked (he's retired) had their daycare opened even though the employees were working from home - they could bring their kids to daycare but still work from home. A friend of mine's son did that but after a while he just asked if he could work in his office because it was an hour round trip from home to daycare and back. He got special permission to work in his office. That company still doesn't have all employees back in person.
  • @ILoveBeachMusic the daycare we previously used closed. 

    I think we can just change our sleep schedules so I can drop the kids off for 8 AM and get them at 1 and DH can do his hours to still be home by 5ish.  But I'm chafed that this decision done not company wide but by a division within the company has been implemented on such short notice. 

    And most of the people working there are male engineers so the concept of "What about kids?" is often this antiquated afterthought.  
  • VarunaTT said:
    She's expecting a large settlement from a car accident that happened almost 3 years ago.  It seems to me like her only plan has been to put her "hope" hat on, that the charity's help will last until she gets this supposed settlement. 
    This part falls into my field, and OMG I loathe when my clients start the "But I need money" train.  I'm sorry, even if we settled the case right now, it's a 45-60 day process on average for you to get your check.  This is not the bank you are looking for, so I suggest you do whatever you would've previously done.  Oh and no, we will not sign any paperwork for you to get a loan on your settlement.
    Thanks!  That is so interesting to hear and gives me some perspective on things she told me early on.  She was badly injured and spent a year recovering.  She says there is no question it was the other driver's fault, but I've learned to take what she tells me with a grain of salt.  As an aside, she was driving for Uber and the other driver was driving for Lyft, at the time of the accident.  So, cha-ching, both of those companies have insurance for up to one million dollars, per accident.

    I'm not totally sure what she did for money that first year.  I think she was on disability and her medical bills were paid by the insurer.  I think she also had some draws from her settlement.  But she rented the house from me after she had mostly recovered...though there was one additional surgery she would need further down...and was back driving for Uber.  Then her car was totaled last Feb. when equipment fell on it during an Uber ride, last Feb.  I don't want to go into specific details because it was unusual, but I know it happened and it wasn't her fault because it made local headline news for a couple days!  She was physically okay and no one was injured.  But she was upside down on her car loan, so she couldn't buy another one.  That was when the charity bailed her out and has continued to do so.  Then the pandemic hit.

    Oddly enough, she didn't apply for unemployment at all, even though she was eligible once the new pandemic guidelines were added in.  I wasn't prying, but the subject naturally came up when we were chit-chatting in July.  She said she tried once, but she had trouble getting in, so she didn't try again.  I was shocked and encouraged her to try again because, at the time, it was about $500/week in Louisiana for independent contractors.  But, for someone who keeps complaining she has no money, she looked totally disinterested.  It made no sense and I've always wondered if she was worried it would mess up the money she was getting from the charity.  I think it would have stopped or been cut down for awhile but, once the UE ended, she could have gotten back on if she still needed to for probably many, many more months.  But now she is starting to overstay her welcome with them because she didn't even give them a "break" by going on UE for as long as she could.

    For her income verification when she applied, she was able to show through her Uber records that she earned enough to qualify.  She also showed me a letter from her lawyer that she could get advances from her settlement.  She got one for a few hundred bucks right after her Feb. accident.  But that was it.  It's possible they have given her more, but not enough to buy another car which is what she has been trying to get.  And the settlement agreement...the big one that happened almost 3 years ago...doesn't sound any closer to being concluded than it did when she moved in about 18 months ago.  She may not be my favorite person.  Especially right now.  But I have been sorry to hear how long it has taken for her.
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  • Finally a short post from me today that is actually "potential" good news, lol.

    My H had a phone interview this morning, though I haven't heard how it went.  Though it's not in his past field of IT.  It's doing the maintenance for an apartment complex that isn't too far from our house.  But it's with one of the "biggie" companies that own half the apartment complexes in the NOLA area.  So it's decent money (though not as good as IT) and even has benefits!

    I'm sure you all have seen the news also.  Companies are desperate for employees.in some sectors.  And "construction/maintenance" is one of those sectors.  I told him the federal "bonus" UE runs out in Sept.  Or Louisiana could decide to yank it earlier, like some states have done.  So he NEEDS to find a job NOW, while there is less competition.  I'm glad he "sort of" listened to me, lol.  He could have applied for more, but at least he applied for a few and got an interview out of it.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Fingers crossed @short+sassy   did something change to where he is now looking for a job but hadn't needed/wanted one in the past? 
  • kvruns said:
    Fingers crossed @short+sassy   did something change to where he is now looking for a job but hadn't needed/wanted one in the past? 
    He was always supposed to be "looking", **cough, for years, cough**, but is extremely lazy about doing it.  He's not a lazy person.  If someone offered him a great job on a silver platter, he'd be thrilled to take it.  But he doesn't usually look or apply for things, unless I'm pushing him.  Which isn't really my personality.  I'm not a nagger.  I expect grown-ass people to adult up and do what they are supposed to do.  And that especially includes my own H, lol. But, I see now the error of my ways.  I need to nag him more and do it more often, when it comes to job searching.

    There have always been excuses.  Sometimes they're valid.  Like when we are in the middle of doing a major reno, I don't mind if he isn't looking because he's busy and is saving us big chunks of money.  The first part of last year he was busy finishing up our last reno.  Then there wasn't much employment going on because of the pandemic.

    But now he's fully vaccinated.  Things are opening back up.  I see want ads EVERYWHERE, just driving around town.  It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I find him job ads I think he'd like (or at least not hate) and would be good at and qualified for.  Then I follow up with him 1-2 days later, if he has applied.  That's been getting some results and seems to be keeping him on task better, so I'm planning to amp that up over the next few months or until he finds something.

    He never would have gotten this interview if I hadn't done that!  I was the one who saw the posting on Craig's List a couple days ago, which he never even looks at.

    I feel like the clock is ticking because, as I mentioned above, the closer we get to "bonus" UE ending, the more and more applicants will be out there looking for work.
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