Budget Weddings Forum

MOH taken advantage of?

So my friend is getting married she asked me to be her maid of honor, we were close but not as close to be her MOH. Her wedding got canceled because of covid but this year everything is happening. She is having 2 weddings. One at the beach and another one at the church. Because there is limitations on the number of people she cut all the bridesmaids off the beach wedding leaving them behind with their dresses and only invited them to the dinner, she said i can show up to the ceremony but stand far away and then get closer when it’s over for a picture. I thought she wanted a bachelorette party in vegas and i said yes but since all of her bridesmaids don’t talk to her only she’s going with her fiance, her brother and gf and me and my bf. I spent so much money on flight, hotel, i paid for the stripper show and i still need to find activities. On the other hand her mom began planning a bachelorette party at her house. I was not expecting this party at all since i thought Vegas was it. Well now they expect me to help them plan for the party. I helped with a few decorations and some food but they keep asking me if I’m getting her a stripper? I have already spent so much money and they want me to pitch in for something i didn’t even planned! I spent so much on the Vegas trip already. Do you think this is right? I’m so stressed, I’ve been helping to been there for her but financially i cannot spend that much money that i don’t even have. 

Answers

  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
     knottie1ccb89df54bace07 said:
    So my friend is getting married she asked me to be her maid of honor, we were close but not as close to be her MOH. Her wedding got canceled because of covid but this year everything is happening. She is having 2 weddings. One at the beach and another one at the church. Because there is limitations on the number of people she cut all the bridesmaids off the beach wedding leaving them behind with their dresses and only invited them to the dinner, she said i can show up to the ceremony but stand far away and then get closer when it’s over for a picture. I thought she wanted a bachelorette party in vegas and i said yes but since all of her bridesmaids don’t talk to her only she’s going with her fiance, her brother and gf and me and my bf. I spent so much money on flight, hotel, i paid for the stripper show and i still need to find activities. On the other hand her mom began planning a bachelorette party at her house. I was not expecting this party at all since i thought Vegas was it. Well now they expect me to help them plan for the party. I helped with a few decorations and some food but they keep asking me if I’m getting her a stripper? I have already spent so much money and they want me to pitch in for something i didn’t even planned! I spent so much on the Vegas trip already. Do you think this is right? I’m so stressed, I’ve been helping to been there for her but financially i cannot spend that much money that i don’t even have. 

    You are well within your rights to call to say "I'm tapped out financially and already hired one for the Vegas Bach party and cannot afford another one!" - strippers are not mandatory for a Bach party...  Being in a WP does not mean that you put your financial future on the line.  It just seems odd that you as the MOH wouldn't make the "cut" for the outdoor wedding - At a beach?!?! - just seems odd that there'd be restrictions on numbers at a beach venue at this point in the opening up process.  What about the church wedding?  

    Also, bride sounds like the type that you're a bigger friend to her than you realize if she asked you to be the MOH.  
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 8
    You're being expected to pay for two bachelorette parties AND show up for two weddings, one of which you don't even really get to attend? Yikes. 

    It is 100% okay for you to go to the bride and explain that you've already spent a lot of money on the Vegas party and cannot put any money toward another one. She cannot force you to spend money you can't afford to spend just because she asked you to be her MOH. 

    If the bride does not apologize or back down from these expectations, at that point I think you should consider backing out of the wedding party. 


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