Context: We have been together for 8 years and have a 1st grader together. We both work full-time, both white collar, he just makes 2x what I make. His mother (single since 9/11 the tragedy, no daughters, blue collar) never really liked me but only talked behind my back. She thinks I "trapped" him with our kid, that I don't cook and clean enough (stuff she has heard from his brother, she never has seen my house being dirty or not eaten my cooked food), that her son does everything in the house (he does the dishes, sweeps and takes out the trash, all of that once a week and due to my back issues he does the laundry but never folds it, I do that, other than I do everything bc he doesn't know how to do the rest), pays for everything (we do 60/40) and that I am too fat to get married to her son.
We just had a huge fight where he relayed this info and now has doubts about getting married and agrees with them. Plus he and they feel that I am not strict enough for my kid.
Basically that I am overall am bad woman.
I am incredibly upset and part of me knows that if we didn't have a kid, I would've left. I deserve to be loved and embraced not bashed and bullied. Our wedding date is this summer, so I feel incredibly sabotaged and embarrassed. His mom was nice to me the past few weeks so I thought our engagement had softened her heart. Now I hear this.
He literally said he doesn't want to be embarrassed, like my size (US 16) is a shameful state to be in wherein you don't deserve to be wedded. I told him to never reveal such fat shaming tactics again and that his family is trying to break up our household. And that I will not be bullied into changing myself. I am slowly losing my pandemic weight and it is not going fast enough according to him.
He said he might be more comfortable if we postponed the wedding and I said if we postpone we break up. For now we are going for it but I am now very anxious that he will leave me at the alter.
What should I do?
UPDATE: I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED IN MY LIFE. The wedding was cancelled by his family. They went to our house unannounced, while we had never been more busy with work and wedding planning, hence the house was an absolute mess. This confirmed their suspicions and they ambushed me. He did not tell me they were there, I get home and there they are, bashing me to my face. I was called names and humiliated while he watched supposedly he was "overwhelmed". I wish I would have read your messages sooner and left myself. Now the family broke 💔 us up and I have lost my pride. My mother curses the day I met him and my father tells me he is just a horrendous man. The man himself says he felt corned and lashed out by complaining to his family, but he ruined everything long before this incident. We will now go to mediation for our kid and I am going to counselling because of how traumatic all of this was.
At least he admits he hurt a good woman and apologised but I never deserved any of this horse dung nor do I see a future for us. I should have been out of the door after he bullied me, but this is a lesson learned.