Wedding Party

Flower girl and Jr bridesmaid

Hi all - Getting married in September, after a long postponement due to Covid. My SIL has four kids (two boys and two girls), and we had originally planned for them to be ringbearers and flower girls. However, the oldest girl is now 12, and it just occurred to me that she might be a little too old to be a flower girl. So I was thinking of calling her a junior bridesmaid, just so she doesn't feel awkward and embarrassed about being a tweenaged flower girl.

That being said, is it okay to still have her role be more similar to that of the flower girl? I'm thinking I'd give her a small bouquet to carry down the aisle instead of a basket of flower petals, so it's a little more grown up, but I'd still have her sit in the front row with her parents and younger siblings instead of standing up with the wedding party. Is that okay? And what should she wear? My bridesmaids' dresses are from BHLDN but they don't make junior dresses. Should I try to find something that looks like the bridesmaids' dresses anyway, or is it better to have something ivory like the flower girl?

Re: Flower girl and Jr bridesmaid

  • Talk to her.  At 12, you could still want to do something that's FG like but it's more than likely that she'll want to do something grown up.  I'd talk to your SIL first to confirm she's fine with you talking to the niece to see what she wants. 
  • maine7mobmaine7mob Maine, USA member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    My daughter had a younger cousin (she was about 10 at the time) as a bridesmaid. You're absolutely right that it's nearly impossible to find junior dresses that look like bridesmaid dresses, so we did exactly what you suggested and had her get an ivory dress. We then ordered a sash in the same color as the bridesmaids' dresses. She did sit with the bridesmaids (Catholic mass) and not her parents and was very thrilled to do so. 12 is a little trickier than 10, as they are a bit more teenager-ish and can smell BS a  mile away, so ask her if she'd like to be a bridesmaid and if she'd be comfortable standing with your WP or sitting with her family. And definitely don't commit her parents to buying an expensive dress until you know they're okay with it.
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