Wedding Woes

You say nothing.

Dear Prudence,

I am one of five bridesmaids in a fall wedding. We all love the bride, who has a loopy sense of humor. And she may regret it, because she has picked out a hideous dress. We’re talking abstract, costume-like, is-that-even-an-outfit that easily matches Pinterest boards on “worst wedding gowns.” The groom doesn’t know about this and it’s not part of a theme. The bride has always been self-conscious about her looks and tells deprecating jokes about her ostensible ugliness. She’s a perfectly normal size 12 and the groom adores her. It feels like self-hating sabotage that will ruin the wedding. The maid of honor is scared of broaching this subject, but if we all do it together, does that feel like a gang-up? What should we do?

— The Bride Wore, Um …

Re: You say nothing.

  • Why would an ugly dress ruin the wedding? She’s an adult with eyes say nothing. 
  • If you don't have to wear it say nothing. 
  • Wait, it sounds like the bride likes it though? 

    This sounds like;
    me at age 18, everyone:  don’t get that tattoo!  You’ll regret it later on
    me, in my 80’s: still loving the tat I got 62 years ago. No regrets

  • She’s an adult who gets to decide what she wears. No you do not go and tell her fiancé to tell her to dress better. 
  • Uh, you keep your mouth shut since she obviously likes the dress. Jeez. 
  • I'm confounded and horrified by this whole letter.  It's one thing for friends/family to give an opinion if they are out wedding dress shopping with the bride.

    But it's an entirely different thing to come together, en masse, and tell an insecure friend that the wedding dress she likes and chose and already bought is ugly.


    Ladies in the WP, I guarantee you that no one...except for maybe you all (shudder) going to tell a bride on her wedding day that her dress is ugly.

    The LW also sucks for not including a pic of the dress, lol.  I know I'm not the only Prudie reader who really wants to see it!

    I'm flashing back to the Big Bang Theory and Amy's ugly wedding dress.  She even had Penny and Bernadette with her dress shopping.  They looked horrified when she came out of the dressing room wearing it.  You could tell they wanted to say something.  But Amy was beaming and, by far, loved that dress the most.  So they didn't.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Agreed, @short+sassy, I want to see the dress too! 

    Anyway, LW and the other bridesmaids need to keep their mouths shut. If the bride is happy with her dress, then let her be happy. She may or may not look back on it with regret in the future, but if she does, that's her problem, not the LW's. There's no point in possibly upsetting her or hurting her feelings now.
  • I worked in churches for many years and was a vocalist for numerous weddings.  Every bride was beautiful on their wedding day.  Regardless if it was an ugly dress or if they would not normally be seen as attractive by society.  
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