Hey guys! I really wanted to make a post to see if I'm out of line in my thoughts and how I've been feeling concerning this situation. I've been second guessing myself and keeping everything in because I don't want to ruffle any feathers.
My brother and his fiancé got engaged at the beginning of this year and will be getting married in a few months, so they're quickly getting things in order, and I was so excited to find out their upcoming wedding date.
My brother and I are very close... I'm his only sibling and we used to talk about everything together, and we've always gotten along so well. My brother came over last month to let my family and I know he was he'd like my husband and I to be in the wedding party. I was completely honored already, and he told me my future SIL had to just figure out the color scheme and pick out dresses and then they'd like to formally ask us over dinner.
Fast forward, a couple of days ago my husband and I attend a dinner with them and I am excited for this time with them. I also couldn't wait to hear more of the details about their wedding. My brother starts and turns to my husband and asks him to be one of his groomsmen in such a sweet way and my husband happily accepts. Then there's a loooong pause lol. My Future SIL turns to me and says "I'd like you to be one of my personal attendants". I didn't know what that was. My heart sank. She then proceeded to say the color she'd like me in and I could pick "whatever", which ok that's cool. Unfortunately, I thought I was going to be a bridesmaid, and she proceeded to excitedly show me the bridesmaid dresses which were beautiful. I really just wanted to get out of there so I could google what a personal attendant was lol.
We end the dinner and thank them for their time and having included us. I get to the car and I'm pretty disappointed, and to add to that disappointment... I google "personal attendant at wedding". I was in tears. I felt like it was a consolation prize because I clearly was not in line to be a bridesmaid.
I do want to say, I in no way would ever want to tell people who they should have in a wedding party or what they should have their wedding be like. I've been distraught because I assumed I would have been a bridesmaid or groomsman. Now, I have been silent on this and keep feeling so awful thinking my husband, whom my brother hardly knows, and the bride's only brother will also be a groomsman. And I'll be a personal attendant?
Please let me know your thoughts, and if I'm overreacting. I feel a bit disappointed in my brother and I don't even know if I'm justified. I'm just feeling extremely hurt.