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Bridal Shower Planning Help

Brides, I need your advice. I know that my MOH will offer to host a bridal shower for me. She's also my cousin, and my family is super casual. Every bridal shower I've ever gone to within my own family was a backyard thing where everyone brings a dish and you sit around a circle on the couch. That's all well and good, but I'd really like to have something more formal, perhaps a space booked at a restaurant. I do events for a living, so I absolutely love a formal printed invitation, decorations, flowers, and the like. Basically, I struggle to let anyone else take over the driver's seat when it comes to an event I'm involved with. Another layer of this is I live in the state right next to my home state, and I'd like to pick a location in between my hometown and the metropolitan city I live now, so that it's accessible for my friends and soon-to-be in-laws here. 

Obviously, this is my wedding so I have so many ideas in mind for how I'd like everything surrounding it to go, but I don't want to come across as a Bridezilla or diva. How do I express my wishes without coming across as rude or ungrateful? Is it rude to offer to pay for things like printed invitations to assure they go out and are what I'd want? Is it okay to express my request on location given that it's to accommodate interstate families and friends? I love my MOH/cousin dearly and would never want to make her feel a certain type of way. I guess I'm confronted with that moment finally of being a type-a event planner planning for myself!

Thanks in advance x

Re: Bridal Shower Planning Help

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    You should not be involved with the planning of your bridal shower other than giving a guest list and dates that work for you. I think it would be ok to suggest a location in between for the reasons you stated, but don't push it. The host(s) get to determine how elaborate they can make the shower based on their budget and yes it would be rude for you to try and control that.
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    Yes, you're right. I needed the cold splash of honesty from someone else to get my OCD self out of my own head. Thank you! I'll be sure to only suggest a middle location.
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    Brides, I need your advice. I know that my MOH will offer to host a bridal shower for me. She's also my cousin, and my family is super casual. Every bridal shower I've ever gone to within my own family was a backyard thing where everyone brings a dish and you sit around a circle on the couch. That's all well and good, but I'd really like to have something more formal, perhaps a space booked at a restaurant. I do events for a living, so I absolutely love a formal printed invitation, decorations, flowers, and the like. Basically, I struggle to let anyone else take over the driver's seat when it comes to an event I'm involved with. Another layer of this is I live in the state right next to my home state, and I'd like to pick a location in between my hometown and the metropolitan city I live now, so that it's accessible for my friends and soon-to-be in-laws here. 

    Obviously, this is my wedding so I have so many ideas in mind for how I'd like everything surrounding it to go, but I don't want to come across as a Bridezilla or diva. How do I express my wishes without coming across as rude or ungrateful? Is it rude to offer to pay for things like printed invitations to assure they go out and are what I'd want? Is it okay to express my request on location given that it's to accommodate interstate families and friends? I love my MOH/cousin dearly and would never want to make her feel a certain type of way. I guess I'm confronted with that moment finally of being a type-a event planner planning for myself!

    Thanks in advance x
    I agree- you can weigh in on guest list, when the shower takes place (so that you’re actually free), and maybe suggestion a location that’s convenient for all guests (especially if your MOH doesn’t know where everyone lives), but really that’s it. It’s pretty rude to have someone offer to throw you a party then basically say you don’t like the way they are/will plan it so you want to do it your way. Even if that’s not your intention you won’t want to run the risk of making a close friend/family feel that way. 

    That said, if she asks your opinion, or gives you options in her budget I think it’s fine to share- but you should never jump in and tell her what/ how to pal.  You get to control all the details of your wedding, this one is on someone else! 
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    All good points, I'm off the OCD ledge. Thank you! 
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    All good points, I'm off the OCD ledge. Thank you! 
    Please stop using OCD as an adjective. Mental illness is not a joke or something to make light of.
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