Is a potluck tacky?

knottieac39211cfcb1c6d1

Okay, hear me out. Our ceremony is going to be combined with Christmas dinner. There will only be immediate family members present. Instead of a reception we are just doing our normal family Christmas, opening presents and watching Christmas movies and playing board games (family tradition). We are renting the venue and obviously providing dessert. So is it tacky to ask that it be potluck? Or maybe if we also provide the main dishes?

charlotte989875

knottieac39211cfcb1c6d1 said:

Okay, hear me out. Our ceremony is going to be combined with Christmas dinner. There will only be immediate family members present. Instead of a reception we are just doing our normal family Christmas, opening presents and watching Christmas movies and playing board games (family tradition). We are renting the venue and obviously providing dessert. So is it tacky to ask that it be potluck? Or maybe if we also provide the main dishes?

If you’re inviting people to a wedding, even if it’s just your immediate family, you still should be providing food for them. I think it’s best if you provide dinner for people, especially if it’s at a venue. You’d be asking people to prepare food and make plans to keep it hot/cold and prepare it somewhere else. 

climbingsingle

Yes, it's tacky. You're still hosting an event at a venue, and even though it's just your family, you should be providing them a meal. Like a PP said, you're asking your family to attend a wedding (getting ready/dressed/travel/etc) and then cooking a dish? How are they going to transport it to your venue? How do they keep it warm/cold? 

MyNameIsNot

Agree with PPs, this is tacky. If you have funds to rent a venue, you can come up with a way to provide a simple meal. It doesn't need to be a five course plated ordeal. Some simple sandwiches or pasta would be fine.

The other option is to skip the meal and just serve snacks along with dessert. You'd just need to time it to avoid mealtime. (If this is actually on Christmas eve/day, you'd need to time around people's normal Christmas dinners.)

geebee908

Agree that a potluck would be tacky. The rules haven't changed because you want to combine your reception with your family's normal Christmas gathering. If it's your wedding reception, you should host your guests fully by providing all of the food and beverages appropriate to the time of day you'll be hosting them.

banana468

Agree with the others.  If you're getting married on Christmas or really close to it making it potluck adds so many concerns including the timing of those busy guests. 

You can do things like get catered lasagnas and baked zitis for much lower cost.  Your guests shouldn't have to prepare anything in order to eat. 

ei34

Although some of the holiday traditions will be in place, they are still giving up their traditional holiday to make it about your wedding.  I'd absolutely host them and strive to make it even more special than usual.  That goes for any holiday wedding- if I'm giving up my July 4th, New Years Eve, etc., it better be a fantastic wedding.

Jen4948

I understand about your wanting to hold your wedding as part of a family Christmas, but I think that for the wedding itself, you still need to host whoever is present afterwards. That means no potlucks. Your guests should not have to provide their own hospitality.