I’m hoping for some others opinions/advice as I’m struggling a bit and less than 2 weeks out from the big day. My FH and I were due to be married in Oct 2020, but along came covid and we postponed.
Soon after we relocated to another state for work. We have no family or friends here but things were looking better (covid wise) so we planned another wedding date but one in which all our family and friends would travel to, a destination wedding for everyone.
Sadly, Covid has once again made it not possible and nearly our entire guest list cannot travel here, so we made the call to cancel 3 weeks out. But we also decided that we would still get married on the day, and throw a “happily ever after party” when we could to celebrate with our nearest and dearest. So this is now sort of a forced elopement, but we want to make the best of a crappy situation.
We both have parents who have separated and remarried, so 4 sets to deal with. My side could have still come but my FH’s couldn’t, so we decided to treat everyone equally and say that the day would just be the two of us. My FH and I explained that it would be too hard and heartbreaking for us to have some but not all there. All of them were saddened that they wouldn’t be there on the day, but also wished us all the happiness and love for our special day. All except my mom who changed her mind yesterday (or now voiced her true feelings after saying it was okay). She and my step dad have tried to “compromise” with our decision, suggest they still come and we don’t have to tell anyone. They’ve said that her and my relationship is more special than anyone else’s. They’ve said that as my mom she deserves to be there. She gave birth to me so she basically outranks everyone and I won’t understand this because I’m not a parent. She is completely dismissing my FH’s family in this. She’s even gone as far to suggest her and my step dad are old and won’t be around forever (my mom is 62 so this a stretch…).
We are standing our ground, but it is really taking its toll. Because we love all our family (and even some of our friends) equally. My mom just doesn’t seem to listen (or care) about this or my FH’s feelings in that not having any of his family there would be too difficult for him. His family would also forever know they didn’t get to be there. We have promised we’ll throw the after party and definitely will, and said that it’ll be like we eloped and will throw a wedding reception after (but just delayed by a yet to be determined number of days).
Does anyone think we’re being unreasonable? Should I let my mom and step dad be there knowing it will hurt my FH, his family and even others in my family. I feel like letting her come now would actually ruin the day because the invitation wouldn’t be given freely, it’ll be given from guilt and pressure.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.