Dear Prudence,
I have never gotten along with my younger step-sisters. Their father never disciplined them or made them do chores. My mother always expected me to set a “good example,” which meant I was more the live-in babysitter than the actual part of the family. I got into an accelerated college program at 16 and moved into the dorms. My visits home were fast and furious.
I am 24 now, with my masters, and have just bought a townhouse near my alma mater (I work for a company that has a contract with the college). Ground floor is the living area; two bedrooms, one bath on the second; and an open loft on top with a private bathroom.
My 18-year-old stepsister got accepted into my college, but our parents can’t afford the dorm fees or to help with rent. They “need” her to move in with me and I “have to” because she is “family.”
My stepsister has never worked a day in her life, is a huge slob, and sounds like a herd of elephants when she gets up in the morning (her childhood room was above mine). As of last Christmas, we got into an argument over her tracking mud on the floor I just cleaned and stealing the leftovers of the lunch I bought—her winning response was to whine to Daddy.
I would rather burn my home to the ground than live with someone like that. The bind is my stepfather and mother did support me somewhat during school, even though I had money from my late father and worked. I do feel an obligation of sorts. And I would not like to start a family feud.
A friend suggested I offer to match what my stepsister makes when she gets a part time job and only if I see the paycheck. I could afford that to a point. What should I do?
— Home Alone