Dear Prudence,
I moved out when I was 17 because of emotional and some physical abuse, and I have lived with my partner, “Damien,” in the two years since. I have maintained a relationship with my parents because my little sister lives with them, and I need to ensure her safety, because part of me still loves them, and because I am still on their health insurance. My mother hates my partner. Because of this, I’ve scaled back my involvement in family functions, and Damien only comes when my sister asks him to (she loves him like a brother). At a dinner with Damien present, my mother invited me, and only me, to a three-week long family cross-country RV trip. She says she will pay my way, and our rent for the month. I am conflicted. My instinct says this is intended as a snub to my partner, especially considering the rudeness of the invitation. But my extended family thinks I would be in the wrong to decline such a generous gift, my sister would be disappointed, and it’s also my understanding that family trips like this aren’t necessarily known to include partners if unmarried. Would it be unreasonable to decline a trip without my partner when my mother’s justification is that it’s not because she doesn’t like him, it’s because there’s no space in the RV? Damien, by the way, says it’s up to me, but prefers that I not attend.
— Confused About Vacation Etiquette