Wedding Woes

Tell him to move it to a non-public area.

Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend and I have both been lucky enough to keep our jobs and be able to work from home during the pandemic. The issue I’m experiencing is relatively minor, but it’s been driving me nuts: My boyfriend does all his zoom meetings from our couch in the main area of our apartment.

Our apartment is a well-sized one-bedroom plus den with an open concept kitchen/dining/living room. The den is set up to be my boyfriend’s office, but he stopped using it because it doesn’t have windows and made him feel cooped up. I have a workspace set up in the bedroom, but I need to do things in the main area throughout the day, like make and eat lunch. Additionally, sometimes I’m done with work earlier than he is and would like to watch TV, empty the dishwasher, do random noisy human stuff, etc. But because he’s on calls for hours at a time—sometimes most of the day—I can’t do anything in the main area of our apartment that makes noise until he signs off, which is sometimes rather late. I’ve asked him if he can take calls from the den or the bedroom so I can have a bit more freedom to do things around the apartment (nothing crazy, just emptying the dishwasher and starting dinner), but he says that he doesn’t want to be cooped up in there for his longer calls and stays on the couch. Would I be unreasonable for insisting he use his den (or the bedroom)?

— You Can Always Tell a Milford Man

Re: Tell him to move it to a non-public area.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah if he works longer hours, ends later - it comes with that price.  Being “cooped up”. 

    banana468VarunaTT
  • ei34ei34 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly just go about doing what you want in the common area, including turning on the tv and watching it, doing the dishes etc. If it bugs him he will move. 

    Yup ^
  • Honestly just go about doing what you want in the common area, including turning on the tv and watching it, doing the dishes etc. If it bugs him he will move. 

    I am also Team this.

    The LW doesn't mention if their b/f wears headphones, but that would be another compromise.  He can stay in the common area and wear headphones, while the LW can do whatever they want.  It's ridiculous they have to "tip toe" to get lunch or a drink from the kitchen.

    On a personal note.  BOO-F**KING-HOO.  I have NEVER been next to a window in the 9 years I've worked for my employer and was only allowed to WFH for the first 7 weeks of the pandemic.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MNNEBridecharlotte989875kerbohl
  • Honestly just go about doing what you want in the common area, including turning on the tv and watching it, doing the dishes etc. If it bugs him he will move. 

    Yup. He has an empty office from which he can take calls. 

    How self-absorbed do you have to be to think you should leave your quiet, secluded office to work in the common area of the house and think someone else is wrong for making noise?
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd probably just move into the den myself. And put a tv in my new office that I could watch while he's working. 

    But yeah, just do what you need to do. If he needs quiet, he can move to his quiet space.
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly just go about doing what you want in the common area, including turning on the tv and watching it, doing the dishes etc. If it bugs him he will move. 

    I am also Team this.

    The LW doesn't mention if their b/f wears headphones, but that would be another compromise.  He can stay in the common area and wear headphones, while the LW can do whatever they want.  It's ridiculous they have to "tip toe" to get lunch or a drink from the kitchen.

    On a personal note.  BOO-F**KING-HOO.  I have NEVER been next to a window in the 9 years I've worked for my employer and was only allowed to WFH for the first 7 weeks of the pandemic.
    My office at work is pretty much a closet. It’s approximately 7’ x 8’ and it has zero windows. Would it be nice to have a window? Sure, but there are days I stay in there with limited human or wide spaced contact and somehow I’m still alive and functioning. 


    image
    charlotte989875
  • I second what @MyNameIsNot said. Take over the den, or at least put a t.v. in there but I would also not hesitate to do kitchen things as needed because those cannot be relocated.
    MyNameIsNot
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