Second Weddings

Wedding ReDo/ Vow Renewal (XP)

edited September 2021 in Second Weddings
Hi! Okay so my now husband and I have been together for 9.5 years. In June of 2021 We had a legal situation arise and decided it would be best we go ahead and get married. So we “ eloped” in July with our parents and siblings right after my now sister in laws baby shower. We didn’t exchange personal vows. Just enough to make it legal. 

It’s complicating me up inside that I wasn’t able to have ALL of my amazing friends and family with us. And my family was rather upset as well but some understood. 

So now what I’m wanting to do is on our 1 year have a “ vow renewal” and reception. I’ve bought a beautiful dress out of impulse but mind you it is for sure THE ONE! 

Also keep in mind we eloped in the middle of the DELTA outbreak. So we technically had a COVID wedding. I’ve seen where other couples are having “ redo weddings” and it being just as celebratory. 

My family keeps saying we have pick and whose what traditions we want. I really want some sort of shower. Seeing how COVID has ruined so much for us. Sons 1st birthday, couldn’t have a house warming when we bought our home, and now wedding stuff. 

How odd would it be to still do bridal showers/ wedding showers????? 

Re: Wedding ReDo/ Vow Renewal (XP)

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hi! Okay so my now husband and I have been together for 9.5 years. In June of 2021 We had a legal situation arise and decided it would be best we go ahead and get married. So we “ eloped” in July with our parents and siblings right after my now sister in laws baby shower. We didn’t exchange personal vows. Just enough to make it legal. 

    It’s complicating me up inside that I wasn’t able to have ALL of my amazing friends and family with us. And my family was rather upset as well but some understood. 

    So now what I’m wanting to do is on our 1 year have a “ vow renewal” and reception. I’ve bought a beautiful dress out of impulse but mind you it is for sure THE ONE! 

    Also keep in mind we eloped in the middle of the DELTA outbreak. So we technically had a COVID wedding. I’ve seen where other couples are having “ redo weddings” and it being just as celebratory. 

    My family keeps saying we have pick and whose what traditions we want. I really want some sort of shower. Seeing how COVID has ruined so much for us. Sons 1st birthday, couldn’t have a house warming when we bought our home, and now wedding stuff. 

    How odd would it be to still do bridal showers/ wedding showers????? 
    Odd is not what you need to be concerned about. Rude is.

    I mean, COVID wedding or not, people have "legal situations" arise all the time and they make the choice to forgo having a big shebang in order to be married sooner. That's a totally valid and often wise choice, but it's a choice that means you don't get to ask the people you chose not to invite to shower you with gifts. Under normal circumstances, people read that as "not important enough to celebrate your actual marriage with you but important enough to buy you stuff."

    Now, COVID took away the middle-ground choice to have a quick and simple wedding (e.g. justice of the peace and pizza) but still have everyone there. That is where people might give you a little leeway, especially if they are invited to a vow renewal. You absolutely cannot invite anyone to the shower who isn't invited to the vow renewal.

    On the whole, though, I would advise not doing a shower. Granted, that's partially because I think they are a terribly tedious type of party and the "games" people come up with to try to make them not tedious are also awful - but mostly because you don't want to come off as gift grabby to family who are already upset that they weren't invited to the wedding.
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hi! Okay so my now husband and I have been together for 9.5 years. In June of 2021 We had a legal situation arise and decided it would be best we go ahead and get married. So we “ eloped” in July with our parents and siblings right after my now sister in laws baby shower. We didn’t exchange personal vows. Just enough to make it legal. 

    It’s complicating me up inside that I wasn’t able to have ALL of my amazing friends and family with us. And my family was rather upset as well but some understood. 

    So now what I’m wanting to do is on our 1 year have a “ vow renewal” and reception. I’ve bought a beautiful dress out of impulse but mind you it is for sure THE ONE! 

    Also keep in mind we eloped in the middle of the DELTA outbreak. So we technically had a COVID wedding. I’ve seen where other couples are having “ redo weddings” and it being just as celebratory. 

    My family keeps saying we have pick and whose what traditions we want. I really want some sort of shower. Seeing how COVID has ruined so much for us. Sons 1st birthday, couldn’t have a house warming when we bought our home, and now wedding stuff. 

    How odd would it be to still do bridal showers/ wedding showers????? 
    Yes, it would be rude to have a shower. That's something that you give up when you decide to elope. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2021
    Whatever the reason (and Covid has definitely impacted a lot of people), a gift-giving event (such as a shower) once married would be tacky.  Absolutely go for a celebration of marriage/vow renewal party though.  Wear your dress, recite vows more personal than the court required, host your guests properly for the time of day and in a covid-safe way, and celebrate! 

    eta- spelling
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    When you make identical posts, please put XP (cross posted) in your header so we know it is a duplicate post.

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