40-Plus Brides

First Time Bride

Hi all.  Finally decided to emerge from the shadows and start posting on here.  I will be about 2 months shy of being 42 when we get married.  We are getting married in early September of 2022.  We got engaged December 2019 right before I started treatment for breast cancer.  Have spent the last year dealing with treatment and all the fun.  Finished with treatment and now I am working on getting myself healthy again while working and planning our wedding.  Just wanted to say hello, its nice to have a place to post about things.  Most of my friends are married and have been for a while and when I try to bring up things (not often) I feel like I am bothering them so I have been keeping a lot of it to myself.  My FH has been so great, he listens to everything I babble about and even gives input which I appreciate.  

Re: First Time Bride

  • Congrats on finishing your treatment and starting to plan your all's wedding!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Welcome.  Congratulations on ending treatments and moving ahead with life!  I'm sorry if your friends don't seem receptive to your excitement, but it sounds like you and your FI are doing well with plans.  This is a great place to ask questions, or spew/vent with all things frustrating.  There is quite a mix of ages, stages in life, and opinions on The Knot.  The best way to get a "temperature and personality check" would be to read some posts on Wedding Woes.  It's a more personal board and you can get to know some of the longer standing folks on here that have developed relationships over the years on The Knot. 
  • Congrats on your engagement and on completing your cancer treatment. I wish you good health and lots of happiness. 

    I think it's fantastic that your FH is receptive and interested when you talk about wedding stuff - after all, your and his excitement over your wedding is what matters most! It would be nice if your friends were more enthusiastic, but remember that just because they may be a bit tired of or jaded by weddings at this point doesn't mean they aren't happy for you. And if you want to gush about wedding details with someone who'll be interested - well, that's what we're all here for!  ;)
  • Thank you all!  Anyway I can change my user name?  I did some reading and googling but the way they show how to do it does not work for me.
  • Thank you all!  Anyway I can change my user name?  I did some reading and googling but the way they show how to do it does not work for me.
    If you click the rounded bubble in the top right corner of the page (with the Knot K and "Your Account,") it should take you to a set of fields for personal information and a username.
  • edited October 2021
    I changed it but still not showing up in here.  Thanks though.  :) 
  • I changed it but still not showing up in here.  Thanks though.  :) 
    The Knot doesn't maintain the boards much, so that's not super surprising. Sorry it's not working for you!
  • I changed it but still not showing up in here.  Thanks though.  :) 

    Hi there!  After you've changed your username in your Knot profile, navigate back to the Community and you'll see a banner at the top of the page prompting you to refresh your profile!  That will take you to this page: https://forums.theknot.com/profile/edit  where you can confirm your username!

    If that doesn't work for you, please reach out to our customer service team at [email protected].
  • I am all set now with my username.  

    Thanks all!
  • Need to vent a bit.  

    Bit more background my friends own a vineyard in KY and they offered it to us at no charge to have our wedding if we wanted to.  My family is all in SC and FL and his in WI and MN and we have lots of friends here in IL and in a lot of other states.  

    Figured since we wanted something laid back and more like a party vs a big, formal wedding (just not our style) and that where the vineyard is located is pretty central for most of the people we would be inviting.  We understand that its far for some and some people do not want to be around others due to covid so there will be ZERO hard feelings if someone does not make it.  Plus I love my friends vineyard, its in the middle of nowhere and its so peaceful.

    Got everything planned basically while I was getting chemo.  I went back and forth on doing hotel blocks and ultimately decided that we were not going to set up blocks.  On our wedding  website I put all sorts of information on lodging, local hotels, house rentals, even houseboats and campgrounds.

    Parts of my family have LOST. THEIR. MINDS.  They keep asking me what areas, I tell them its on the wedding website.  My aunt apparently is trying to bring one of her dogs so I added a section under the FAQ's on the website saying please leave all pets at home, its a working vineyard and we have invited a lot of little kids.  I have nothing against dogs, love them, but just no please. 

    Mother and Aunt are both emailing me/ calling me trying to figure out what to book but also to complain that no one wants to commit yet.  The freaking wedding is over 200 days away I 100% understand why no one wants to commit yet.

    I never thought I would be stressing out about a possible dog at the wedding and where people are staying.  I am about to put an embargo on asking me about lodging if this keeps up.

    Thanks for letting me get it out.  
  • It might be a case of "too many options" for your relatives.  I would let them know there are many choices on the website but you think they would especially like X or Y.  Just choose for them, so they don't have to.

    For the aunt, check to see which hotel(s) allows dogs and give her that choice.  While, at the same time, being very clear that dogs are absolutely not allowed on the winery grounds.  It's sad people even need to be told that but, sometimes they do.

    You are certainly not required to do any of that.  People should be responsible for choosing their own accommodations.  But it might save time to just tell people verbally 1-2 places to stay.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Totally agree but they are like well I don't know if so and so is coming and some do not want to commit so far out.  Totally get it but I really want to be like talk amongst yourselves, leave me be.  It seems like my moms family is just completely ignoring the hotels and thinking AirBnb or VRBO which takes it out of my hands.  I gave them the area with distances and a reference point so from now on I am like you are on your own.  I will try to answer questions but its getting dumb at this point.  

    The dog thing... my aunt picks up strays which is one of the many things I love about her.  She has a huge heart when it comes to animals but unfortunately this makes some of her lovies a bit unpredictable.  The hotels I marked which are pet friendly or not and its 100% on the wedding website no pets allowed. My cousin that would stay with her if she does rent a AirBnb is very concerned about why she is looking for pet friendly places so I see this coming to a head really soon.  Kinda glad I live 1000 miles away now lol.
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