sermon/message worries!

lrlarmore

I've been to several weddings recently where the officiant either drones on or dicusses how hard marraige is and the possiblity of divorce... umm... what!?!?!?

I don't think the wedding day is the day to counsel me on how often people are divorced or to demand that I obey everything my hubby says to keep him happy (I heard that one last year).

I just want something inspirational, fun, and lighthearted that focuses on the love involved and the commitment that we are making. I like our officiant.. but I feel like after I've seen so many disasters that I should give him some guidance on what I prefer.... does anyone know of a great message out there that I can give him to show what i mean???

NOLAbridealmost

You need to make sure your officiant is on the same page as you. There are some religious sects that DO believe that women should obey their husband and allow their body to be a vessel for the next generation. Frankly that grosses me out and I hate attending weddings like that (let alone feel comfortable AGREEING to it).

But there are plenty of officiants who will do exactly what you want.  Shop around and don't compromise on this.  It's F-ed up to vow to do something that gives you the "icks." 

Kristin789

Ditto Stage.  The officiant gave us three ceremonies, and a book about vows, etc., so we could pick one or create our own.  Then we told him what we wanted.  You sound like you are not ready to meet with your officiant to see what his/her ceremonies are like - you need to do that because you are the ones getting married and you need the ceremony to match YOU not some standard thing that's supposed to fit everybody.

mbrischoux

You can see if you can skip the whole "sermon" part.  An officiant might be relieved not to have to either create one or have a longer ceremony with one.  This will depend on if it is a religious ceremony, though.

meganb1977

Yeah the two of you should talk to your officiant and make sure you're on the same wavelength.  If you don't feel like your officiant has the upbeat vibe you're looking for, then go with someone else.  If you're trying to have your ceremony at a particular house of worship or using a particular officiant because of family tradition or etc., you'll have to make the decision about how important the tradition is to you to think about breaking it to find an officiant you like better.

Meghannsix

At my aunt's wedding 30 yrs ago, in an effort to make some kind of boating analogy, the priest referred to the wife as the "lesser vessel".  We still laugh about how ridiculous that was!  Our officiant gave us a 150 page book to pick and choose from, there are definitely some passages that we do not like.  You'll have to spend some time doing some serious communication with your officiant about what you do and do not agree with, good luck!

naomikb

Talk to your officiant and work it out.  Make sure you're on the same page.  If you're really worried about it you could ask him to skip the sermon/message all together, or see if your grandfather or closer relative (someone older to give "advice" or talk about love or whatever) can do a little talk in place of the sermon.

catwine

'im in the same boat...we are having a Sunday wedding so a sermon may be inevitable.  I'm going to tell our pastor that we'd like something light hearted, talking about how wonderful marriage is and how God made it to join two people together for life. 
i agree that you need to talk with him about the kind of ceremony he will conduct.  afterall, you're paying him and it should be the kind of ceremony you want.

futuremrsbruno

We're Catholic, so our priest will relate his homily to the readings we chose as well as our relationship with each other. While his homilies sometimes run on the longer side, he is a very good speaker and I enjoy listening to what he says, so I'm not really worried.

I would think that if this is a concern of yours, you should be able to go to your pastor and discuss this with him. They want to help make your day special and I can't see that it would be a bad conversation, as long as you are not mean about anything.

I think you can definitely ask that he not mention the possibility of divorce.

lilbitbeaker

this is a rough version of what our ceremony will be. we are still in thr processs of editing it. 

Good evening family, friends, and you back there. Not sure who you are. We've got this little detail of a marriage to take care of before we can start the party. We have all been invited here today to share a very important moment in Kamil and Deanna’s lives. No, not the release of the latest game or urban fantasy book but that their love and understanding for each other has grown and matured, and they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

To make a marriage work, we learn to overlook and forgive the things that may frustrate us. Like Kamil forgetting previously made plans or leaving his clothes not in the hamper but beside it. Or Deanna forever being indecisive or leaving her mountains of crafting supplies lying around. These two are promising to stick together through all the piles of unfolded laundry, dirty dishes, and sleepless nights. To support each other through all the bad traffic, annoying co-workers, and budget planning.

But marriage isn't all bad… it's also about having someone to laugh with, to hug, and, when needed, make fun of awful movies you picked out. It's having someone who will get your dumb jokes and facial gestures. Marriage is having a confidant, a partner in crime, and a best friend.


[VOWS]

[RINGS]

[kiss]