Wedding Woes

T-H-E-R-A-P-Y

Dear Prudence,

Growing up, my parents pushed me hard to achieve. It worked. I went to a letter school, qualified as a doctor, got a job in a busy hospital and have worked throughout the crisis. Today, I’m pushing 30, more than half a million dollars in debt, exhausted, and stuck in a misogynistic working environment where people treat me like dirt on a daily basis. By comparison, my brother ignored my parents completely, dropped out of school at 16, and is basically your classic stoner. He also started trading sneakers online when he was 12, graduated to BitCoin, and is now a millionaire many times over in his mid-20s. I know it’s wrong but I feel so resentful and jealous of him, and so angry with my parents for driving my career and life choices so hard. How do I get over this?

— Burned Out Achiever

Re: T-H-E-R-A-P-Y

  • Time for therapy. Your brothers money has nothing to do with you but you’re letting it impact your life. 

    I don’t know how anyone gets out of the pandemic without feeling some burnout, resentment, anxiety- especially those in the front lines. 
    STARMOON44VarunaTT
  • Therapy!! 
  • I don't know the LW's brother, but I'm jealous of him also, lol.  Really, though.  Neither of them necessarily chose a bad path.  The brother's was riskier and much more of a gamble.  He was lucky it worked out or at least has worked out so far.

    The LW's path is a more tried and true method for earning a high income.  They don't mention what type of doctor they are, but maybe a busy hospital isn't the best setting for them.  Working for or opening up their own private practice might be less stressful and fewer hours.
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    MesmrEwe
  • Time for a new job AND therapy! 

    Especially in Healthcare right now - wherever LW wants to go is hiring their specialty!  There are so many places that will be better working environments for LW - Rural healthcare for example - people are more likely to be appreciative to HAVE a doctor that they don't have to travel an hour or more to see!  Plus loan/tuition reimbursement/continuing ed. programs are fantastic in those hospitals/clinics! Heck, the bonus sign-on for an MD to travel to Alaska, plus the pay if they want to experience something different than where they are, and the loan reimbursement programs - LW is far from "stuck"!  I have a family member that does NOT work with a particular subset of patients but the health network she was working for dumped patients in that subset on her, she quit!  She IMMEDIATELY had multiple job offers elsewhere, better working conditions, earns more, vehicle/gas, and gets time off to take an actual vacation..  LW needs to dust off the CV/resume and just realize there's more than one hospital/clinic in the world to work!


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    short+sassy
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MesmrEwe said:
    Time for a new job AND therapy! 

    Especially in Healthcare right now - wherever LW wants to go is hiring their specialty!  There are so many places that will be better working environments for LW - Rural healthcare for example - people are more likely to be appreciative to HAVE a doctor that they don't have to travel an hour or more to see!  Plus loan/tuition reimbursement/continuing ed. programs are fantastic in those hospitals/clinics! Heck, the bonus sign-on for an MD to travel to Alaska, plus the pay if they want to experience something different than where they are, and the loan reimbursement programs - LW is far from "stuck"!  I have a family member that does NOT work with a particular subset of patients but the health network she was working for dumped patients in that subset on her, she quit!  She IMMEDIATELY had multiple job offers elsewhere, better working conditions, earns more, vehicle/gas, and gets time off to take an actual vacation..  LW needs to dust off the CV/resume and just realize there's more than one hospital/clinic in the world to work!


    Hahahahahahahahahaha. 

    Oh, you’re serious? 

    Healthcare is beyond toxic right now. We are burnt out, abused, and psychologically damaged from the toll of the last two years on top of already having issues pre-pandemic. You want to know why places are hiring? Because the toxic environment has led so many nurses and other HCPs to quit in droves. Admin is making millions and they are fighting the floor staff on fair wages and safety. There’s a reason I just got a letter from a hospital in Las Vegas 400 miles away offering me a $35000 sign on bonus. The hospital down the street offers me $20k sign on bonuses all the time. I would never want to work there. There’s a reason Buffalo and Kaiser are striking right now. Jfc. 

    Oh, and I am in a rural healthcare setting. I can tell you most of my patients are not overly grateful I’m there. On the contrary we get a lot of abuse for offering what we have. I have a heart for this population but it’s not easy in the slightest and honestly people can fuck right off if they think anything in healthcare is fair or easy right now. 


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    VarunaTTCasadenaMyNameIsNotmrsconn23
  • @levioosa I am truly worried about what healthcare is going to start looking like for the near and far future.  One of our major hospital systems just incorporated what is basically a panic button into nurse badges, b/c the increase in violence towards nurses.  Which wasn't low to begin with, but with this Red Trumper anti vax community, it's gotten worse.  I don't understand it at all.


    mrsconn23
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    VarunaTT said:
    @levioosa I am truly worried about what healthcare is going to start looking like for the near and far future.  One of our major hospital systems just incorporated what is basically a panic button into nurse badges, b/c the increase in violence towards nurses.  Which wasn't low to begin with, but with this Red Trumper anti vax community, it's gotten worse.  I don't understand it at all.


    The number of times the bill failed that wanted to make violence against health workers a felony is both sickening and truly indicative of how we are seen as expendable. I cannot tell you how many times I have been physically and even sexually assaulted at work by patients. How many jobs can say that? And yes, I know when it’s intentional and when it’s not their “fault.” It still doesn’t change that real harm comes to the healthcare workers. I’m not going to press charges against the 90 year old with Alzheimer’s who’s sundowning and lashes out. I am going to press charges against the man who grabbed my breast and then hit me when I pulled away. It’s too much for us to bear. 


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    VarunaTTmrsconn23
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