Friyay!!

VarunaTT

My smartwatch is here and on my wrist.  I think I'm going to keep/like it for one feature:  Find My Phone.  I am terrible about dropping my phone someplace in my apartment and having to hunt for it.  This'll keep me from having to use the google feature on the computer.  K took the Google Nest which I used for that 90% of the time.

Also, I had a massive mental health/breakup realization/break through this morning that I'm still sitting with.  I've been watching a couple of TikTokers who talk about narcissist personality disorder.  I knew K had NPD, but sometimes I still don't recognize the patterns/behaviors, especially b/c K was a "covert" narcissist and that's harder to see.  I had always said that K didn't isolate me from my friends the way NPDs usually try to do.  This morning, I realized they absolutely did b/c of one incident I thought of this morning and looked at from a different angle.  Then suddenly, I could see all of the other ways they tried to do it.  I just never responded to those attempts the way they wanted me to.  Some portion of my brain was definitely protecting me and saying, "Not today, Satan."

Anyway, I'm supposed to drive a few hours on Sunday to see the final days of an art exhibit I really want to see.  I can feel myself wanting to cancel.  I've warned my friends that I might cancel (I'm not driving) and why and they understand.  I don't really want to.  However, I've pushed myself past this feeling before and it's got about 50/50 results in how that ends up.  If it were on Saturday, I'd do it b/c I could recover on Sunday if it went poorly.  Otherwise, no weekend plans so far.

CharmedPam

yup @VarunaTT, my friend was married to a narcissist and we often talk about it.  You’ll be the last person to see any narcisist tendencies because they’re THAT good at it.  Glad your out of that now though and way better off!

holy fuck it’s cold.  I am wfh getting my new front door installed. It desperately needed it and I was really pushing it with this cold weather coming in. 

Yesterday I got into a tiff with the meet up organizer. I’m set for dinner & a haunted house.  She advertises it as you pay her $25 to pay towards the final bill and if you end up going over that $25 you venmo her the $ later. Well, she rubbed me the wrong way on two things.
1) some member posted about how much of a wuss she was and hopes can do this.  To ease her mind, I told her because of mask wearing, they’re making these haunts in less darker rooms to see better. At least that was my experience last time I went.  The organizer was like “masks don’t impair your vision. You put it over your nose and mouth.  How are you wearing yours, girl?” And I’m like they definitely cut your peripheral vision.  Especially in the dark and especially if there’s stairs. If someone was crawling out at you at knee level, in a dark room, you’re less likely to see this in the dark (and yes these houses LOVE using short people you cant even see!). She’s like “my masks never do that”.  Good for you then.  But my friend is a vrt (vision pro) and agreed that masks cut some of your vision. And thanks for telling me how to wear a mask.  The last year and a half I’ve been putting them over my eyes and nose. You mean that’s been wrong the entire time?
2) she then said she got the restaurant to do family style. A chicken dish, sausage dish, pasta and salad. I already paid her the $25 but said yeah sure that was fine.  But then she changed it to a chicken dish, a gluten free pasta dish and regular pasta dish with salad to accommodate everyone’s needs.  I was like “uh, I don’t even eat that many carbs! And I sure as shit wont eat $25 worth!  But whatever, I’ll overpay the $25 and shut up about it. THEN she emailed everyone and said because of the changes she needed $8 more. One chicken dish, and two pastas and a salad. She’s like “it’s really good and all you can eat”.  Great.  But I don’t care about all you can eat.  I asked if we can go back to ordering off the menu and she said it was to complicated with our big group (22) and family style will cut down in time. I get that.  But then I had to explain I’m a sleeve patient who a) shouldn’t even be eating pasta and b) eat smaller portions and not $33 worth of it.  She understood and gave me back my $.

But now I just want to go with someone else from my other group and not meet up… the organizer pissed me off.

climbingsingle

@VarunaTT my exH was a covert narcissist too, and it took me a really long time to see it. And for a long time after we split, I would still have thoughts pop into my head of "Oh shit, he was totally gaslighting me and I didn't realize it until right now". It's a total mind fuck. I am sorry. My heart goes out to you. 

So ready for this day to be over. My friend is coming over tonight. I have a facial tomorrow morning. Perfect relaxing weekend. 

MyNameIsNot

Yay for Friday! Nothing much going on this weekend. Probably dinner out tonight because we haven't been out in forever and I kind of want a reason to wear jeans and boots. Tomorrow we'll do the leaves and a little shopping, then a small hike Sunday. 

Our bathroom reno is sort of stalled waiting for a window that is supposed to come in tomorrow. I'm hoping there's some miracle and it actually arrives and the crew decides to work tomorrow to install it, but that's a pipe dream. 

STARMOON44

I’m feeling totally overwhelmed by fun plans and too much dancing. Plus I’m supposed to see a Broadway show Saturday, the ballet next Thursday, and another show Tuesday. Seriously considering moving next Tuesday to January!

MissKittyDanger

@VarunaTT Glad you are able to see, and the benefit is next time you'll be watching for red flags and ideally it won't happen again

@CharmedPam it's gonna drop soon, but we have weird mini heat wave right now. Unfortunately also rain so it's muggy a.f  


So I have bronchitis. I'm on 2 puffers - 1st is 2x a day with mouth rinse to avoid thrush. Other I can take every 4hrs to reduce coughing fit. Which is good because my stomach was HATING the amount of halls I was taking.
I think it's taken 36 hours to feel like it's working, although M could hear the change fairly quick.

Otherwise not much.
Did I mentioned SFIL and MIL had BK other day? Unfortunately it was a quick situation change and we couldn't let BK know, but we've realized now that BK may have some issues with change when it comes to things like that.
Day after, she ended up having quite a few accidents at preschool and we all figure it's her version of anxiety or fear of change. We're going to try to advise her if something changes next time, or at least if this sudden change happens again, who ever picks her up will have a little chat about the situation.

Idk, we're not sure how to handle this entirely  

missJeanLouise

@STARMOON44 idk if this will affect theatre employees or not but IATSE has approved a strike starting Monday if the AMPTP continues to refuse negotiations. I know this is mostly about film and tv employee, and I haven't heard anything about theatre workers striking but ya never know.

John Deere and Kellogg's employees are currently on strike too. I would love to see nurses and teachers do the same but I know there are laws against it. 

Ssdd here. DS is worse today than he has been all week. He has swelling on the side of his face that the ear infection is worse on and it has me mildly concerned. FX tomorrow is better.

levioosa

missJeanLouise said:

@STARMOON44 idk if this will affect theatre employees or not but IATSE has approved a strike starting Monday if the AMPTP continues to refuse negotiations. I know this is mostly about film and tv employee, and I haven't heard anything about theatre workers striking but ya never know.

John Deere and Kellogg's employees are currently on strike too. I would love to see nurses and teachers do the same but I know there are laws against it. 

Ssdd here. DS is worse today than he has been all week. He has swelling on the side of his face that the ear infection is worse on and it has me mildly concerned. FX tomorrow is better.

I think theater is in on it too, from the posts I see from my theater friend on Instagram. Lol. 

@VarunaTT the find my iPhone feature is one of my favorite things about my smart watch. FI gets so annoyed when I use it at home. Whatever. Let me utilize this technology and be lazy at remembering where I set my phone down last. 

I am having the week from hell. There was another fraudulent address added to my credit report last night and now I can’t find my check from when I sold my car to deposit. It was on the table last and now I can’t find it. I’m freaking out. It wasn’t for a small amount either. 

missJeanLouise

@levioosa I know theatre workers are in support of the strike but I haven't heard of any preparations being made for the closing of theatre productions. Even my own local, who I know supports the strike, has been mute on what this means for upcoming shows.

short+sassy

@CharmedPam, I'm glad you spoke up for yourself on the food!  It sounds like a really  fun event at least.  Congrats on the new door, especially with the weather being colder.

I was just thinking about colder weather this morning.  It's not here yet.  But my H and I were originally planning to replace our two bedroom windows before winter arrived.  We had all the windows redone in our house years ago, but not the main bedroom ones in the back of the house, so they are still single-paned.  That bedroom gets so cold in the winter and my H says those windows are one of the reasons.  But there are so many supply issues right now...plus we are so PO'ed at our window company...we're going to have to put it off for another year (sigh).  At this point, it would almost be springtime before they would come in anyway!

I need to talk to my H and see if there are other options.  I don't even care if it blocks the window that's closest to our bed.

It feels like it is going to be a busy weekend.  Nothing fun, lol.  Just a lot to do.

mrsconn23

Good morning.  

It's rainy and cooled off here, but it's still super humid.  Our floors are sticky on my bare feet and I hate that feeling. 

I won a prize that I had to go pick up at work last night.  DefConn and I popped by dad's because he lives around the corner from my office.  He took us out to dinner.  I think he was genuinely pleased to see us.  I need to be better about making plans with him. 

I'm contemplating knocking off early.  This week has just been a lot and also, my boss is OOT.  But I do need to take some time on Monday (maybe) to take DefConn to his eye specialist.  

DefConn is going to FIL's tonight.  DH and I are going to do some running around and then dinner.  Tomorrow we're doing the pumpkin patch and then dinner here w/friends and a bonfire (all the fall shit in one day!!).  Sunday, I guess we'll be watching the Colts stink it up again.  LOLz

I got our anniversary hotel stay for free on points I earned through work. Woohoo!! That makes me feel better about the $$$$ restaurant we booked for dinner.  

MNNEBride

I broke down and turned the furnace on today.  It was 64 degrees in the house and, since I'm sitting at my desk working, it was too cold. It's 50 outside with a high of 60 today.  Bring on fall!

We're going to try a new restaurant in town tonight.  We've heard good things about them but they've been super crowded so we'll see what the wait is like.

Going to take a drive to look at the fall colors tomorrow and hope to stop at an apple orchard.

Sunday is church, football, laundry and getting ready for the work week.  I need to do a Walmart run and Sam's pick up too.

short+sassy

missJeanLouise said:

@levioosa I know theatre workers are in support of the strike but I haven't heard of any preparations being made for the closing of theatre productions. Even my own local, who I know supports the strike, has been mute on what this means for upcoming shows.

One of my neighbors and close friends is a production assistant for tvs/movies.  She was talking about the upcoming strike when I spoke to her a few weeks ago.  Some of the issues are all these streaming platforms (Disney+, Paramount, etc.) were initially a "new" industry and (I think) it was tentatively decided that they did not need to pay union wages or offer the same benefits.

But now that this industry is established, they need to get on board with all of that and they don't want to.  They all suddenly walked away from the negotiations table entirely.  

However, she said one of the bigger issues they are fighting for is caps on working hours in a day/week.  I know she was on an especially bad tv show for that last year/earlier this year.  She was working 12-14 hour days, 6 days/week.  And usually had to do some work on Sunday also.  She refused to go back for the fall season.

While I certainly understand she's biased, she did say it was very legit reasons for the strike.  It's also unusual in that EVERYONE is striking.  There have been strikes before with sub-groups of tv/movie, ie writers.  But she said this is the first time since (I think) the 1950s that everyone is going on strike.

I don't know either way about theater.  I'd normally ask her, but she's been on location.  Her current project is an independent film, so they are not affected by the strike.  But the strike will affect some of her future projects she has lined up, so she is hoping it gets resolved by then.

missJeanLouise

short+sassy said:

missJeanLouise said:

@levioosa I know theatre workers are in support of the strike but I haven't heard of any preparations being made for the closing of theatre productions. Even my own local, who I know supports the strike, has been mute on what this means for upcoming shows.

One of my neighbors and close friends is a production assistant for tvs/movies.  She was talking about the upcoming strike when I spoke to her a few weeks ago.  Some of the issues are all these streaming platforms (Disney+, Paramount, etc.) were initially a "new" industry and (I think) it was tentatively decided that they did not need to pay union wages or offer the same benefits.

But now that this industry is established, they need to get on board with all of that and they don't want to.  They all suddenly walked away from the negotiations table entirely.  

However, she said one of the bigger issues they are fighting for is caps on working hours in a day/week.  I know she was on an especially bad tv show for that last year/earlier this year.  She was working 12-14 hour days, 6 days/week.  And usually had to do some work on Sunday also.  She refused to go back for the fall season.

While I certainly understand she's biased, she did say it was very legit reasons for the strike.  It's also unusual in that EVERYONE is striking.  There have been strikes before with sub-groups of tv/movie, ie writers.  But she said this is the first time since (I think) the 1950s that everyone is going on strike.

I don't know either way about theater.  I'd normally ask her, but she's been on location.  Her current project is an independent film, so they are not affected by the strike.  But the strike will affect some of her future projects she has lined up, so she is hoping it gets resolved by then.

Another big issue is turn around time. People are leaving set at 2-3am and call time the next day is 8am. People have literally died because they fall asleep while driving home. Another one is that producers are taking advantage of "penalities" and forcing people to work without meal breaks. Generally you are required to have a meal break after so many hours or the production pays more until you do get a break. But they are working that in the budget and non meal days are becoming the norm vs the exception. And the New Platform thing is such bullshit... You can't tell me that Netflix shouldn't have to pay regular rates by now. They have won Emmys. They can pay.

mrsconn23

@short+sassy  The caps on hours is a bigger sticking point than anything else I've heard.  I mean, the pay is bullshit...but having to work 12+ hours days, 6 days a week is untenable.  The funny thing is, this is what Katherine Heigel got majorly shit on for back in the day when she spoke out against it during her time on Grey's Anatomy.  

To your point, this is everyone.  The last big strike I remember is the writer's strike, and production companies just ordered up more reality TV shows.  There was a random winter edition of Big Brother at that time.  But if this is general production, they can't even do that since I assume reality TV staff will still fall under IATSE. 

It will be interesting to see what happens if they can't come to an agreement this weekend.  

ei34

@VarunaTT that's awesome that you were able to have such a successful breakthrough (although I'm sorry that you went through it)  @CharmedPam okay the organizer sucks  @missJeanLouise oh gosh sorry to hear that DS is getting worse, poor guy   @MissKittyDanger feel better soon!

I had coordinated with my school's Life Skills teacher to bring one of my students who's been hitting a lot of walls lately to allow him to bake this morning. The LS classroom has a full kitchen and the student was in heaven...just a nice change of pace for him and he hasn't stopped talking about baking a pie by himself(ish).  He shared some of it at lunch and we wrapped the rest to bring home for his family.  I first thought he may enjoy baking and the feel of creating something with his hands a month ago, but this was when we were able to make it happen.  I think it's going to be a new part of his Friday mornings, I haven't seen him this into anything besides his phone screen since I met him last Sept.  

Tomorrow is grocery shopping, soccer, a visit to my parents' house and some weeding the yard back home (soccer and weeding weather permitting, it looks pretty rainy).  Sunday is mass and then our Christmas card photo shoot...every other year I take the kids to a Santa experience that they enjoy, and it doubles as our card.  The first year was 2017, they were 2, 2, and 3...now at 6, 6, and 7 I can't help but wonder if we'll have another one in two years...will they still believe in Santa?  I think so?  But I'm going to soak this one in in case this is it.  I have them in green/cream clothes this year, and somehow everyone's outfits are ready to roll.  Go me  

CharmedPam

@MNNEBride my furnace has been on for about 4 days now. Couldn’t take it either!
hope you get better soon @MissKittyDanger.  Bronchitis hurts!  Feeling your pain. 

@short+sassy, I need new windows too.  Maybe just the main living room.  But I can’t even think about that yet.  Driveway up next and that’ll probably be spring now too.
@ei34, I think you’re good. My 9 year old neice still beileves in Santa.  I think? I think I’d hear a story from my sister when she finds out! 

And yeah she does suck.  I even tested it today.  Walked in my building with my mask on, head straight forward. Couldn’t see my feet as I walked.  Took off the mask.  Saw my feet in my peripheral vision.  Hence, it is altared with a mask.  Now do that in the dark.  Are you comfortable?

The person I’m going with said today “it’s raining.  I want to do VIP so we’re not standing out in the rain”. The meetup group has general so… i’m not meeting up with them anyway.  It’s a moot point. 

Edit: and with fees $48.66.  This house wont be worth $50. None of them are! Why do I do this to myself?

ILoveBeachMusic

Going to a wine tasting tonight which should be fun. DS2 is coming home tomorrow so he can go to the Colts game with H. I'm headed to Chicago when they leave. I hate packing for colder weather but sounds like I have no choice. 

I'm still plugging away on the Christmas stocking. I'll take it with me but probably won't get much done with it while I'm in Chicago. I'm telephone meeting with my Norwex mentor in a bit so we can set up my launch party. Wish me luck!