XP - I'm the MOH and I need suggestions to help the bride!

knottie1585dda5cb122116

Y'all... My best friend of 20 years is getting married (2nd marriage) and she's going to give herself a nervous breakdown if she doesn't let her wedding party help her. Here's some details. Her future mil is awful. She belittles the bride to the point of tears, constantly tells her what she doesn't like. Constantly telling her to go to the courthouse (when she was finally excited to have the wedding she always wanted, because she was a people pleaser for her first wedding and did everything to make everyone else happy). I'm 3k miles away and I've offered to fly in to help get everyone on the same page, she says no. I asked for her mom's number and her bridesmaids numbers so we can talk and all be on the same page and really help but she said no. So she's literally the go-between for everyone. But then she tells me how stressed she is because I'm the only one who's shown initiative to help her. How can I help my friend?? Advice? Suggestions? 

levioosa

knottie1585dda5cb122116 said:

Y'all... My best friend of 20 years is getting married (2nd marriage) and she's going to give herself a nervous breakdown if she doesn't let her wedding party help her. Here's some details. Her future mil is awful. She belittles the bride to the point of tears, constantly tells her what she doesn't like. Constantly telling her to go to the courthouse (when she was finally excited to have the wedding she always wanted, because she was a people pleaser for her first wedding and did everything to make everyone else happy). I'm 3k miles away and I've offered to fly in to help get everyone on the same page, she says no. I asked for her mom's number and her bridesmaids numbers so we can talk and all be on the same page and really help but she said no. So she's literally the go-between for everyone. But then she tells me how stressed she is because I'm the only one who's shown initiative to help her. How can I help my friend?? Advice? Suggestions? 

I answered you on the chit chat board. If you’re going to post this in multiple pages make sure you put XP in the title. 

knottie1585dda5cb122116

Thank you, I'm new. I appreciate the tip!

charlotte989875

It sounds like the best way to help her is to just let her vent. She doesn’t need anyone else telling her what to do and having you telling her to give you phone numbers to coordinate things is probably just adding on something else for her to stress about. 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

It sounds like the best way to help her is to just let her vent. She doesn’t need anyone else telling her what to do and having you telling her to give you phone numbers to coordinate things is probably just adding on something else for her to stress about. 

This.  Sometimes a stressed person doesn't need anyone to step in but would love that friend to listen and supply them with a friendly ear and the desired comfort food/beverages of the stressed person's choice. 

charlotte989875

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

It sounds like the best way to help her is to just let her vent. She doesn’t need anyone else telling her what to do and having you telling her to give you phone numbers to coordinate things is probably just adding on something else for her to stress about. 

This.  Sometimes a stressed person doesn't need anyone to step in but would love that friend to listen and supply them with a friendly ear and the desired comfort food/beverages of the stressed person's choice. 

This is me and my H a lot. He wants to fix everything immediately and sometimes I just want him to listen and sympathize. I’ve gotten better at telling him when I need his advice and input and when I just want him to hear me. 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

It sounds like the best way to help her is to just let her vent. She doesn’t need anyone else telling her what to do and having you telling her to give you phone numbers to coordinate things is probably just adding on something else for her to stress about. 

This.  Sometimes a stressed person doesn't need anyone to step in but would love that friend to listen and supply them with a friendly ear and the desired comfort food/beverages of the stressed person's choice. 

This is me and my H a lot. He wants to fix everything immediately and sometimes I just want him to listen and sympathize. I’ve gotten better at telling him when I need his advice and input and when I just want him to hear me. 

I need to do this with DH.  I've been feeling my overall anxiety increase!