Not talking atm—still invite to be a Bridesmaid?

knottiedf6c868cd6e21619

My sister (who is a year older than me) and I are not talking right now. My sister has shown up for me in my life but she can be somewhat of a drama queen and cause unnecessary stress she can also be really sweet. Unfortunately right now, we are not talking at all besides the family group chat. She doesn’t invite me to any of her gatherings and doesn’t come to mine. Should I still invite her to be a bridesmaid? Part of me feels she wouldn’t do it anyway but I should give her the choice so at least I can always say I invited her. The other part of me feels like who cares, I only want the women by my side who have loved me unconditionally and have never cut me out of their lives & I know I can count on—especially b/c I want to feel at ease the big day. It’s kind of weird because my other older sister will be my maid of honor, & her & my relationship is really great. 

climbingsingle

knottiedf6c868cd6e21619 said:

My sister (who is a year older than me) and I are not talking right now. My sister has shown up for me in my life but she can be somewhat of a drama queen and cause unnecessary stress she can also be really sweet. Unfortunately right now, we are not talking at all besides the family group chat. She doesn’t invite me to any of her gatherings and doesn’t come to mine. Should I still invite her to be a bridesmaid? Part of me feels she wouldn’t do it anyway but I should give her the choice so at least I can always say I invited her. The other part of me feels like who cares, I only want the women by my side who have loved me unconditionally and have never cut me out of their lives & I know I can count on—especially b/c I want to feel at ease the big day. It’s kind of weird because my other older sister will be my maid of honor, & her & my relationship is really great. 

How far away is your wedding? Typically you should ask people 6-9 before. Do you have time to wait to see if your relationship changes for the better?

I've definitely gone through periods where my brother and I didn't speak, but we always patch things up. I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship with your sister, but are you typically close when you are on speaking terms? Do you think if she's not included in the wedding that she'll be upset?

downtondiva

I'd say it depends on how long you and your sister haven't been speaking for and why, when the wedding is, and if you're concerned that even if you patched things up tomorrow, you'd end up not on speaking terms again prior to the wedding (in other words, does this happen a lot?). 

If your wedding is more than 9 months away, it's too soon to be asking anyone, so I'd recommend waiting until then and seeing how things are going at that point. If it's closer, then give some thought to the above, and also consider whether it'll cause more trouble to ask her or not to ask her. And if you do decide to ask her and she accepts, keep your expectations low and don't expect her to change overnight just because a wedding's involved (I say that because a lot of people seem to expect that with loved ones and it never works out). 

Jen4948

I would also not ask anyone to be a bridesmaid until 6 to 9 months before your wedding. If your wedding date is farther away than that, hold off on asking them until then. Maybe things will have improved with your sister by then, in which case you can go ahead and ask her if you feel confident that it won't cause you unreasonable stress. If you still aren't talking at that time, I wouldn't ask her.