Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gift from my parents

Me and my wife were planning to have a big wedding in another country earlier in the year (Covid ruined our plans) my mum said that she would give us £1000 as a gift as that is what she gave my older sister. Because of Covid we decided to have a quick wedding in the registry office with some of her family, my mum watched in tears through WhatsApp. It was actually a really nice day although different to what we had planned.

As we live in another country my parents came to visit the day after the wedding, they gave us a card but no gift. Now they're back in the UK what do I do? I feel embarrassed as my wife's family have all given generous gifts and my parents have only given a card.

Should I raise this with my mum, I normally wouldn't as it's such an awkward subject and I don't want to come across ungrateful but because she's told me my sister received a generous gift....WHAT DO I DO!?

Re: Gift from my parents

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Me and my wife were planning to have a big wedding in another country earlier in the year (Covid ruined our plans) my mum said that she would give us £1000 as a gift as that is what she gave my older sister. Because of Covid we decided to have a quick wedding in the registry office with some of her family, my mum watched in tears through WhatsApp. It was actually a really nice day although different to what we had planned.

    As we live in another country my parents came to visit the day after the wedding, they gave us a card but no gift. Now they're back in the UK what do I do? I feel embarrassed as my wife's family have all given generous gifts and my parents have only given a card.

    Should I raise this with my mum, I normally wouldn't as it's such an awkward subject and I don't want to come across ungrateful but because she's told me my sister received a generous gift....WHAT DO I DO!?
    You do nothing. A gift is just that, a gift. 

    There's a million reasons that your mom may have decided not to gift the money after all, none of which are your concern. Just accept that circumstances have changed and let it go. 
  • I understand it is frustrating and hurtful that your mom promised you all this wedding gift...especially since she gave your sister the same wedding gift...but you are correct that it would be rude to bring it up.  Gifts are gifts and people are not obligated to give them, even when it is our own parents and they told us they would.

    It's also possible your parents were in a tougher financial position at the time and will still come through.  But it's best to just let this go.

    I feel you, though!  Although not wedding related and on a smaller scale, my own mother let me down on a financial gift she promised me..  Similar to your parents, she also lives far away from me.  And it's always me visiting her.  She was supposed to have paid me back for the train ticket, when I flew into a further away but much cheaper airport.  I'm not sure if she forgot or changed her mind, but I didn't feel it was the right thing to do to ask for the money when she didn't give it to me, so I didn't.
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