Dad and Step-Dad

knottie6d2c94824c120695

Hello. 

So my family is sometimes dramatic and they do not always talk to each other. My mom and dad divorced before I even turned 1. My relationship with my dad has constantly been up and down. Currently, our relationship is in a good place and I want to include him in my wedding.

My step-dad has been in my life since I was 1. Him and I have a great relationship and he has always been there for me. I call him dad. I know that he sees me as his daughter and has been looking forward to being able to walk me down the aisle. 

I'm struggling on how to approach this with my dads. I know that step-mom will make some comment if I don't have my dad walk me down the aisle especially since my step-sister had him walk her down the aisle.

Right now, I see my two best options to either ask both of them to do it or have no one do it.  

geebee908

knottie6d2c94824c120695 said:

Hello. 

So my family is sometimes dramatic and they do not always talk to each other. My mom and dad divorced before I even turned 1. My relationship with my dad has constantly been up and down. Currently, our relationship is in a good place and I want to include him in my wedding.

My step-dad has been in my life since I was 1. Him and I have a great relationship and he has always been there for me. I call him dad. I know that he sees me as his daughter and has been looking forward to being able to walk me down the aisle. 

I'm struggling on how to approach this with my dads. I know that step-mom will make some comment if I don't have my dad walk me down the aisle especially since my step-sister had him walk her down the aisle.

Right now, I see my two best options to either ask both of them to do it or have no one do it.  

Stuck in the box:
To the bolded, I see this as the very same situation you would have if your step-dad walks you down the aisle. Your step-sister had her step-dad walk her down the aisle. Was her biological dad in the picture? Had he passed away? Did he have another role in her wedding?

The choice of who to walk with is yours, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty if that person is your step-dad. I hope you can have the strength to do that, if that is your wish. How you include your dad may be best handled as a conversation between the two of you where you let him know that you'll be walking with your step-dad, and then explore together what other ways he could participate. I think it could work out if he's involved in that conversation.

ILoveBeachMusic

knottie6d2c94824c120695 said:

Hello. 

So my family is sometimes dramatic and they do not always talk to each other. My mom and dad divorced before I even turned 1. My relationship with my dad has constantly been up and down. Currently, our relationship is in a good place and I want to include him in my wedding.

My step-dad has been in my life since I was 1. Him and I have a great relationship and he has always been there for me. I call him dad. I know that he sees me as his daughter and has been looking forward to being able to walk me down the aisle. 

I'm struggling on how to approach this with my dads. I know that step-mom will make some comment if I don't have my dad walk me down the aisle especially since my step-sister had him walk her down the aisle.

Right now, I see my two best options to either ask both of them to do it or have no one do it.  

SITB

Do you want your Dad to walk you down the aisle? Do you want your step-dad to walk you down the aisle? If the answer to both of these questions is yes then have them both do it. If you only want one of them to do so, have a private conversation with both of them separately and explain it to them. Only you get to decide who will walk you down the aisle.

MesmrEwe

Lots of people make comments about how you should do things at YOUR/FI's wedding - the question is whether you take their advice under advisement, ignore it, change something, etc. You know she's going to comment, this is a good opportunity for you to "Bean Dip" as this is 100% YOUR decision to make!  

Personally, I like the idea of both Dads, but I'd also be leaning towards your Step Dad only given the circumstances...  You can't go wrong with whichever choice you make as it is your decision to make!

Jen4948

As PPs mention, this is entirely your decision.

I can understand why you might want only your stepdad to escort you, but I can also understand why you might want to include your dad in some manner. You can ask both dads, or you can give your dad a different honor. (Perhaps you might have one dad escort you during the ceremony while doing a spotlight dance with the other. That's just an example.) It's up to you.

As to how to broach the subject with your parents, it's not up to your stepmom and if she makes a bitchy remark, you can ignore it. If they threaten to boycott your wedding if you don't give your dad the roles they want you to give him, you'll have dodged a bullet.