Heavy Hors D'oeuvres

knottie100a6c2fe39842db

Okay all knowing people! I am having a heavy hors d'oeuvres wedding rather than a full meal. The ceremony is 3:00-3:30. My reception venue is a four hour rental (20 minutes from ceremony). So my question is, should I do a reception 6:00-10:00 time frame? Would there be enough time for people to eat dinner in between? Or should I do 7:00-11:00? I want to make sure people eat in between as the hors d'oeuvres won't be enough for dinner. I have never been to a wedding like this so I am lost!

p.s. we are also having some late night pizza to keep the party going!

MyNameIsNot

knottie100a6c2fe39842db said:

Okay all knowing people! I am having a heavy hors d'oeuvres wedding rather than a full meal. The ceremony is 3:00-3:30. My reception venue is a four hour rental (20 minutes from ceremony). So my question is, should I do a reception 6:00-10:00 time frame? Would there be enough time for people to eat dinner in between? Or should I do 7:00-11:00? I want to make sure people eat in between as the hors d'oeuvres won't be enough for dinner. I have never been to a wedding like this so I am lost!

p.s. we are also having some late night pizza to keep the party going!

You should start the reception right after the ceremony. So if ceremony ends at 3:30 and there's 20 minutes drive, start at 4. 

short+sassy

Receptions need to immediately follow the ceremony ending, ie at 4PM.  Guests don't want to figure out somewhere to hang out for 2-3 hours.  It's also awkward to go back to their house or hotel room, stay in their nicer attire, and "chill" for a couple hours until the reception starts.

It doesn't matter if there is a gap so they have time to get their own dinner.  Which they shouldn't have to do anyway.  Your reception is still during a meal time, so there needs to be enough food to feed your guests, who will assume they are being fed a meal.  Pizza for the main meal portion is fine, it doesn't have to be fancy food.

I'd suggest a reception from 4-8 PM.  The venue should have the hors d'oeuvres ready when guests arrive.  Have the pizzas arriving around 5:30ish.

geebee908

I think heavy hor d'oeurves is appropriate for a much later ceremony and reception. Your ceremony would need to be something more like 7-7:30 and reception from 8pm to 12am.

I would definitely side-eye being asked to go get my own dinner between the ceremony and reception. Pizza can be your meal; it doesn't have to be a fancy dinner, just please give your guests dinner as part of your reception if you're going to have a ceremony at 3-3:30pm.

banana468

The rules for hosting the reception are:
-Reception needs to be immediately after the wedding or be as close to immediate factoring in any post-ceremony greeting and travel time.  Gaps are not acceptable so you'll need to time your ceremony accordingly.
-If the food is served at a meal time then it needs to add up to equal a full meal.  Heavy apps and pizza is a full meal.  You don't need a sit down multi course to be acceptable.

Should you opt for not enough to equal a meal then you'd need to either have an early afternoon ceremony/reception or you'd need to move the ceremony to something like 7:30 and have the reception right after. 

ILoveBeachMusic

If you are set on having a four hour reception the PPs are correct. You shouldn't have a gap and you must serve a meal (hors d'oeuvres and pizza are fine). However, you could have a reception from 3:30 to 5:00 and just have the hors d'oeuvres. Oops just saw that venue is 20 minutes from reception site. So yeah you could move to an earlier time for the ceremony and just have hors d'oeuvres, otherwise serve a meal with no gap in between. 

climbingsingle

As PPs have said, the reception needs to start right after the ceremony. That time frame also makes it more acceptable for a heavy hors d'oeuvres reception. If you're having a reception at dinner time (6/7pm) you should be serving a full meal.  

maine7mob

I love heavy hors d'oeuvres as a meal (This is basically what you get at restaurants that specialize in small plates.). But make sure that you have enough variety and quantity to actually constitute a meal. Do not have a gap.

ei34

If your ceremony ends at 3:30 and it's a 20min drive from ceremony to reception venues, start your reception at 4.  That literally sounds like my dream as a guest at this point in my life, done by 8pm and I adore hors d'oeuvres. 
ETA my afterthought- 
If you're imagining guests will need to grab dinner your caterer may not be serving enough hors d'oeuvres.  You'll want to serve enough so that your guests won't need dinner.  You can google an estimator but be sure to offer a variety of apps and enough that guests won't need to grab their own dinner, whether your reception is 4-8 or 7-11 (both are dinner time).

MesmrEwe

Because I've seen the scenario play out...  
1) Move the ceremony time to 1:30 or 7:45 so you're out of the meal window. That puts you into the apps or cake & punch reception window given your reception is a 4-hour window.
2) 4:30 is the borderline start of the dinner hour for many people, or think appetizers at 4:30 dinner at 5:30. 
3) Asking your guests to go grab themselves a bite to eat between your ceremony and reception is rude and will get the side-eye whether they tell it to you personally or not.  
4) The times I've seen heavy apps weddings, notoriously the couple runs late after the ceremony (receiving lines, final photos, traffic delays, etc.) and the guests being hungry literally clean out the caterers.  There was one that literally we watched the catering staff ran out the emergency exit (caterers were separate from the hall) because guests were so mad because there wasn't enough food because the first people through the line were told "heavy apps" and presumed the caterers would just make more, "heavy apps" doesn't account for "Your guests are football players not ballerinas.." so about 75 guests in to the 250 they were out of every last crumb of food including the cake/desserts.  
5)Heavy apps with pizza served at the appropriate meal time = proper hosting if you want to leave your start time alone.  

charlotte989875

Serve enough for a full meal or move the reception outside of meal time. Even starting the reception immediately after the ceremony puts you right in a meal time. 

Jen4948

Start your reception immediately after the ceremony, without a gap, and with enough heavy hors d'oeuvres to constitute a meal, or move the reception to a non-meal time.

But don't invite guests for a reception that's being held at mealtime, tell them to go away and feed themselves, and expect them to come back. That's inconsiderate.