Wedding Woes

IDK the answer for her, but you should butt out.

Dear Prudence,

My daughter is dating a nice young man who seems perfect in so many ways. However, recently they found a huge difference of opinion regarding the vaccine. To complicate the issue, my daughter is starting medical school—medicine is important to her.

Discussions end up arguing about the use of ivermectin. What should she do?

— Vaccine Hesitancy Road Block

Re: IDK the answer for her, but you should butt out.

  • Bean dip if you don't want an argument.
    Or even "Look we're never going to agree, let's leave the subject"
  • They clearly don’t have the same values but that’s not for LW to say. Stay out of it and support her when she DTMFA. 
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The best thing you can do, LW, is encourage your daughter to stick to her values and be strong. 

    Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but if you're writing Prudie on her behalf, I'm guessing encouraging independence hasn't been a hallmark of your parenting thus far. 
    banana468MNNEBrideshort+sassy
  • I get why you are concerned, but your daughter is an adult and needs to decide for herself how to handle this. I'd break up with him if I was in her shoes, but it's not my place to say, nor is it yours. Unless she comes to you for advice, stay out of it.
    image
    ei34
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Stay out of your daughter's business. 

    And the daughter needs to dump this guy. 
  • The best thing you can do, LW, is encourage your daughter to stick to her values and be strong. 

    Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but if you're writing Prudie on her behalf, I'm guessing encouraging independence hasn't been a hallmark of your parenting thus far. 
    I wonder how old the daughter may be.  LW may also still be in the protective stage of daughter is an adult but she's in her younger 20s.   I'm sure my mom could have written a letter about how I was in my 20s and dating an asshat and wasn't sure what to do. 


    ILoveBeachMusic
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    The best thing you can do, LW, is encourage your daughter to stick to her values and be strong. 

    Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but if you're writing Prudie on her behalf, I'm guessing encouraging independence hasn't been a hallmark of your parenting thus far. 
    I wonder how old the daughter may be.  LW may also still be in the protective stage of daughter is an adult but she's in her younger 20s.   I'm sure my mom could have written a letter about how I was in my 20s and dating an asshat and wasn't sure what to do. 


    Honestly, even early 20's is too old for parents to be trying to insert themselves into relationships like this. If you're old enough to date, you're old enough to decide who you date.

    I could envision my parents struggling with how to be supportive when they knew I was dating frogs, but this is a different level of overbearing. 
    mrsconn23
  • banana468 said:
    The best thing you can do, LW, is encourage your daughter to stick to her values and be strong. 

    Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but if you're writing Prudie on her behalf, I'm guessing encouraging independence hasn't been a hallmark of your parenting thus far. 
    I wonder how old the daughter may be.  LW may also still be in the protective stage of daughter is an adult but she's in her younger 20s.   I'm sure my mom could have written a letter about how I was in my 20s and dating an asshat and wasn't sure what to do. 


    Honestly, even early 20's is too old for parents to be trying to insert themselves into relationships like this. If you're old enough to date, you're old enough to decide who you date.

    I could envision my parents struggling with how to be supportive when they knew I was dating frogs, but this is a different level of overbearing. 
    My last serious BF before DH was loathed by my family.  He's not a bad guy (we still work together), but he was quirky and did annoying things.  He asked my parents if he could propose and they begrudgingly agreed.  He never proposed and I turned 21.  He was in his mid-20's and kind of boring anyway. We barely had sex.

    We broke up because I had extreme 'being 21' FOMO especially since my friends were always asking me to go out (he was a total dick about my 21st bday and 'made' me go home when he wanted to and I left with him, which was older sis's final straw) and I was having an emotional affair with my ex (that no one knew about, of course) anyway.  When we broke up, my family practically threw a party.  

    My sisters weren't afraid to tell me what they thought, but my parents were pretty good at being even-tempered and polite.  
    MyNameIsNotshort+sassy
  • If the daughter has asked for the mother's opinion/complained about the problem, the LW should help the daughter look at the pros and cons of staying with that guy.  Not necessarily of the specific issue, but help the daughter decide for herself if this is a deal breaker or not.

    If the daughter has not asked for the mother's opinion, than the LW needs to keep her thoughts to herself until that happens.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Lol at “what should she do?”
    let your daughter write her own Prudie letter

    MesmrEwe
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