Yes, dump your family.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am an unattractive person who is also possibly the most unphotogenic person you have ever met. I am fine with that, but I don’t like being in pictures or seeing pictures of myself. I come from a family with a mean sense of humor. They react angrily to my polite requests to not be in photos, often taking candids and texting them to me, like it’s a joke. I don’t know what to do other than not see them, but they get mad about that too. There is a long history of them mocking or being insensitive to things that are important to me. Do I just give up and stay away forever?

— No Photos, Please

banana468

LW needs to be REALLY clear here regarding their feelings.

My grandmother was one to run away from all photos but would pose for the family memorable ones when it was with her sons or group family shots.  

I'd start off by telling the family how hurt they are but would consider offering that they'd would be in group shots as a compromise.  My aunt was not photogenic but now that she's passed, I'm glad I have a couple photos of her because they're the only visuals I have of her now. 

charlotte989875

Yeah they suck.

I think if LW is just moving out of a photo, standing to the side, offering to take the photo they’re fine. If they’re going on and on about how they won’t be in photos, telling people to delete photos they’re in, etc- then maybe the family is over this. 

It definitely doesn’t make it okay- the family is CLEARLY wrong here for harassing LW and sending them photos. Block them so you don’t see the photos. 

VarunaTT

I do think LW's family could be better about this.  LW does say there's a mean sense of humor, but the examples don't sound mean.  Taking candids of someone is usually a great way to get wonderful photographs.  LW didn't say "taking a candid of me picking my nose to laugh at me" or "comment on how fat I look here".  

I also think LW might need to get some help with this.  Family photos aren't really about being attractive or photogenic.  It's about memories and history.  My mother, aunt, and I all had pics taken together.  Both of them hate the pictures b/c of the style.  I adore them, b/c the photos are US, not some photoshopped, posed, everyone look like they're in church, perfection, glory.  You can also learn to take better photographs to help minimize the things you don't like.  

I think there's a middle truth here that each party could be better about working on.

kerbohl

Hubby doesn't like to be in photos, but I want photos of him.  So we've talked about it, and I make sure that I take photos when he is wearing clothes that he doesn't mind being photographed in, and he makes sure to accomodate me and let me take the odd picture.  It's all about communication and compromise.  But if I was taking sneak photos of him and then showing them off, I could see him being upset.  I agree with Varuna, there has got to be a middle ground for LW.