It's over. Done. Finito. ...So you move on.

mrsconn23 · February 2022

Dear Prudence,

I met an incredibly beautiful woman two months ago, and I feel I have messed everything up. I am 48 and she is 32. We started dating and agreed after a month to date exclusively, and I am confused about a lot with her. She won’t talk to me in front of her mom. She lives at home with her parents, but she is not a caretaker; she is a nurse and makes good money and could live on her own if she wanted to, but she won’t leave the nest. We have had some arguments over this, and she pushes back. Recently I went to the restroom, and when I walked out, she dropped her phone like she was up to something. I asked to see who she was texting, but she denied it and it became another argument. I asked her to leave, but now I feel guilty for not listening to her. What do I do?

— She Says We’re Done

banana468 · February 2022

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
I met an incredibly beautiful woman two months ago, and I feel I have messed everything up. I am 48 and she is 32. We started dating and agreed after a month to date exclusively, and I am confused about a lot with her. She won’t talk to me in front of her mom. She lives at home with her parents, but she is not a caretaker; she is a nurse and makes good money and could live on her own if she wanted to, but she won’t leave the nest. We have had some arguments over this, and she pushes back. Recently I went to the restroom, and when I walked out, she dropped her phone like she was up to something. I asked to see who she was texting, but she denied it and it became another argument. I asked her to leave, but now I feel guilty for not listening to her. What do I do?
— She Says We’re Done

In the words of Chris Rock,"If you have been dating a man for 6 months and you haven't met his friends, you are not his girlfriend."

If she will not talk to you in front of her mother, does not want to move out or move forward then that says where you stand. It's been a couple months. Cut your losses and move on.

charlotte989875 · February 2022

Wait- you’ve known her for 2 months and you told her she needs to move and demanded to know who she was texting. It’s over because you’re controlling and she figured that out.

banana468 · February 2022

charlotte989875 said:

Wait- you’ve known her for 2 months and you told her she needs to move and demanded to know who she was texting. It’s over because you’re controlling and she figured that out.

Yeah good point. This guy is trying to tell her how to live her life.

That said, I still stick to the concept that they were never as serious as he wanted them to be.

short+sassy · February 2022

LW, you're right. You have messed everything up because you're a controlling jerk.

Please learn the art of STFU when something isn't any of your business before pursuing another relationship.

I can't believe he's only known her for 2 months. Yet they have had argument(S), with an "s", in that time because she chooses to live with her parents.

It's so outrageous that it's hard for me to give much credit to anything else he wrote. Like, "she won't talk to him in front of her mom". Is that because he's trying to have off-the-wall conversations like "when are you moving in with me?".

The cell phone is maybe suspicious. But again, I'm not sure I trust his POV. Maybe she was just putting her phone down like a normal person and he's immediately jumping to an angry and yelling, "Who were you texting? I know you're cheating on me! Show me your phone NOW!" I wouldn't show a b/f my phone either if I wasn't doing anything and he was suddenly suspicious and demanded to see my phone.

Edit: words

STARMOON44 · February 2022

She won’t talk to you in front of her mom because her mom won’t approve of her dating an old man when she’s 32.

downtondiva · February 2022

You're too controlling and clearly you and this woman aren't compatible because she's not living up to whatever your expectations are for a woman her age. You are indeed done and need to leave her alone.