Thursday, Prudie day?

Casadena

Just kicking off the daily thread since I don't see one yet. 

Casadena

I've been really struggling with major mom guilt about baby N going to daycare instead of being home.  One of the only upsides of the COVID closures and WFH was that G was home with use for over a year.  They both love their teachers and vice versa, but i just miss him so much.  

Work is crazy busy this week and i've had zero time to prepare for my interview tomorrow.  I guess that's what i'm doing after bedtime!  

If mrsconn isn't around today i can try to post Prudie at lunchtime.  

What's up with everyone else?

MissKittyDanger

@Casadena 1st your guilt is valid. I don't think there's any point - especially pandemic relating - that it won't feel awful for sending your tot to daycare.
2nd - think about it this way, sending N to daycare they get to enjoy things. Wfh with kiddo is not easy.
It's gotten easier with BK getting older and can play solo better but it was a fkn nightmare entertaining her while working at the beginning when she was home for 4 weeks. She had so much more fun at daycare than home.
3rd I have so much guilt STILL with sending BK to prek - she loved daycare and she loves prek so much but I feel awful sending her some days.

charlotte989875

I feel you @casadena and it’s something I talk a lot about in therapy- I feel awful only seeing him in the morning and in the evening when I’m done working before he goes to sleep. Like it’s just such little time together. I have no advice, just solidarity. 

charlotte989875

I have 2 huge presentations today; 1 down 1 at 2:30. First went all right despite being up half the night with baby M. We had our first call with the sleep consultant last night and we start our plan on Friday night. Send me all the good vibes we’re all about to get more rest. 

banana468

I'll be the dissenter that it gets WAY EASIER to send your kiddo to daycare.  They need the stimulation and play with other kids and hanging out with you or a lone caretaker just doesn't do the same.  It was rough at the beginning when my kids were new babies but the older they got the more I appreciated coming home wanting that time with them feeling drained by grown ups vs. the kids.

On days that the kids are home with me all day I'm a referee.

I am excited.  DH bought a new dishwasher and it will be installed this weekend!   

MissKittyDanger

M and I are looking into different ways to store BK's toys in our living room. It might just be our living room needs to be readjusted, but BK wants to play in the morning and she really doesn't have time. {pokey pants}
I don't really wanna "hide" her toys but honestly I half feel like I need to.

Anyways it's $1 coffee at McD so I swung by and saw my mum. It was a solid 30 sec before she realized it was me, then she freaked out lmfao! Tbh she's never actually seen me drive yet so that was also a shock. I'm cackling and she's just stunned.

Then we get to prek and I ask BK if she recognizes the little girl getting out, and she yells "IT S! MAMA IT S!!!" {cut name obv} She was so stoked and I was shocked because she never says any friend names.
I'm pretty sure when she got in, she ran to see S lol

Definitely too much amusement all before 8:30am

My mum and I are planning a pamper afternoon in April. It'll be a belated bday but also it's around when my dad's passing anniversary is. Past 2 years we haven't been able to see each other, so I wanna do something a little extra.

CharmedPam

Sorry you’re feeling the guilt @Casadena Hopefully N loves it to ease that for you.

i’ve been distancing myself from a “friend” who’s lately been rude to me, and only calling when she needs something. I got a text asking if I can do her taxes, like a sucker, i went.  It was fine until after I did them, and then she said she needed a botox appointment and to make one for “us”. I told her I stopped getting things done, she’ll have to find a place and go on her own.  She only wants me to go as a driver, but everytime I’ve taken her, she’s been rude to the people and I’m not going to be associated with her.  So it’s a lie that I stopped getting things done, I’m just done being her chauffeur. 

“Oh you’ll get something done.  You always do. Look on groupon for us.  Or make me an appointment and come with me” (because it’s so much fun to watch you get injected?”) Then she said “you need some in your chin.  I can see it” and pointed to the place I got lipo dissolve in last year.  The injector TOLD me she could barely find fat to grab anymore. You mean that area? i told her botox was a plumper.  Why would I want to plump my chin?
”what about these? are you not getting anything in there?” And points to the marionette lines. I strictly told her no, and the more I told her I didn’t go to these places anymore, the more she insisted I would.

I went home and looked in the mirror.  There is NOTHING wrong with my chin and I have no marionette lines.  So basically she was using my insecurities to benefit herself.  Everyone who knows the stories I tell of her, knows she’s a user.  Of both friends and boyfriends.  She also wanted me to apply for a job for her.  I told her to go to the actual store and apply.  She told me she did and it was all done online now. She doesnt’t have a computer… and English isn’t her first language.  I’d be willing to do it if she was a nice person who didn’t only need me for things… I’m probably going to send her a link to the application and tell her to apply on her phone. It’s what she uses to watch TV so she has a data plan I know. How bad does she want this job? I’m done with her.

sorry, long rant, but it was a long time in coming. 

kvruns

I read the Wednesday thread thinking "wow people are active this morning".  Wrong day, oops

Casadena

banana468 said:

I'll be the dissenter that it gets WAY EASIER to send your kiddo to daycare.  They need the stimulation and play with other kids and hanging out with you or a lone caretaker just doesn't do the same.  It was rough at the beginning when my kids were new babies but the older they got the more I appreciated coming home wanting that time with them feeling drained by grown ups vs. the kids.

On days that the kids are home with me all day I'm a referee.

I am excited.  DH bought a new dishwasher and it will be installed this weekend!   

Totally understand that.  I dont' feel guilt at all about sending G (newly 2).  He loves it and needs the structure and activity and socialization that I just can't provide.  So it definitely gets easier.  N is only 7 months and I still just want to play and snuggle all day and I hate that I only get a couple hours to do that, it's the worst.

kvruns

yikes what "friend" @CharmedPam good idea distancing yourself from her

banana468

Casadena said:

banana468 said:

I'll be the dissenter that it gets WAY EASIER to send your kiddo to daycare.  They need the stimulation and play with other kids and hanging out with you or a lone caretaker just doesn't do the same.  It was rough at the beginning when my kids were new babies but the older they got the more I appreciated coming home wanting that time with them feeling drained by grown ups vs. the kids.

On days that the kids are home with me all day I'm a referee.

I am excited.  DH bought a new dishwasher and it will be installed this weekend!   

Totally understand that.  I dont' feel guilt at all about sending G (newly 2).  He loves it and needs the structure and activity and socialization that I just can't provide.  So it definitely gets easier.  N is only 7 months and I still just want to play and snuggle all day and I hate that I only get a couple hours to do that, it's the worst.

Totally get it.  It's when they start to move and you can't just snuggle and work that it's rough!

One day I was home with Chiquito when he was 2 and I had to work.  I left my office to a canned goods tower that was about 5 feet tall. 

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

Casadena said:

banana468 said:

I'll be the dissenter that it gets WAY EASIER to send your kiddo to daycare.  They need the stimulation and play with other kids and hanging out with you or a lone caretaker just doesn't do the same.  It was rough at the beginning when my kids were new babies but the older they got the more I appreciated coming home wanting that time with them feeling drained by grown ups vs. the kids.

On days that the kids are home with me all day I'm a referee.

I am excited.  DH bought a new dishwasher and it will be installed this weekend!   

Totally understand that.  I dont' feel guilt at all about sending G (newly 2).  He loves it and needs the structure and activity and socialization that I just can't provide.  So it definitely gets easier.  N is only 7 months and I still just want to play and snuggle all day and I hate that I only get a couple hours to do that, it's the worst.

Totally get it.  It's when they start to move and you can't just snuggle and work that it's rough!

One day I was home with Chiquito when he was 2 and I had to work.  I left my office to a canned goods tower that was about 5 feet tall. 

We're at the point of able to leave BK alone for a bit or if she's solo with M, he can focus on work but then seeing the things - similar to this - happening lmao!

mrsconn23

I agree @banana468 re: daycare.  But I think I would have struggled in Covid times too.  But overall, daycare benefitted both my kiddos.  

We've had an issue with our garage breaker getting tripped, which was turning off our doorbell cameras (and I was getting the notification they were on battery back-up).  I just had to keep flipping the breaker because it wouldn't stay on.  There was a power strip that had a couple things plugged into it.  I unplugged it and plugged what needs to stay on directly into the all.  The breaker seems to be staying on.  I'm hoping that was the fix because I really don't want to call an electrician.  Thankfully, we know a couple IRL. 

It's dreary today.  I'm feeling kinda blerg too. 

SSDD otherwise.  Prudie coming up. 

levioosa

Oof @CharmedPam. That’s rough. Tbh I probably would start to strongly distance myself and stop responding to her. Also how shitty of her to point out things for her own benefit like that. FSIL and I used to go to appointments together all the time when the scheduling worked better. But we have never unprompted told each other to fix something. Usually it’s the opposite. “I want this, look how bad it looks.” “I dunno girl, I think you’re being really harsh on yourself, you look good!” When we do agree we usually temper it with “you look good but if you want to look refreshed the tear trough filler will probably help.” Because that’s how real friends talk to each other. I’m annoyed and upset for you. That’s the kind of thing that can really mess with your head. 

Not too much happening today. Yesterday felt like the longest day ever. Today I came into work and the provider was spicy and I seriously think she’s quitting. I asked her if she was on our shit show of a Teams meeting yesterday and she said “nope. It won’t affect me.” So 😬😳. I’ll be sad to lose her but she deserves retirement and to be way less stressed. 

Otherwise trying out a hike today. Pulse ox still drops to the mid 80s with any sort of significant exertion so I’m still working out with my oximeter which is really a pain in the ass. Fucking Covid. @VarunaTT I feel like I have some anomia too, where finding the words for certain things takes me awhile and it is so fucking annoying. 

@charlotte989875 and @Casadena *hugs* I don’t have kids but I know it’s super hard. You guys are being fantastic parents, and even worrying about it makes you a good parent. You’re working to help make a great life for them. And they’re getting a ton of great socializing at daycare! I know sometimes that doesn’t make it any easier. So all of the hugs and emotional support. 

@missJeanLouise thinking of you and hope the babe is doing well and you are recovering fast! 

banana468

@CharmedPam I'm with you that I'd start to distance myself too.  She's bossing you around and insulting you!   If I wanted to salvage things I'd probably speak up and tell the friend how the comments about my appearance make me feel and that you don't appreciate being told what to do - but this is likely how she is and it's time to just let it go. 

Casadena

mrsconn23 said:

I agree @banana468 re: daycare.  But I think I would have struggled in Covid times too.  But overall, daycare benefitted both my kiddos.  

We've had an issue with our garage breaker getting tripped, which was turning off our doorbell cameras (and I was getting the notification they were on battery back-up).  I just had to keep flipping the breaker because it wouldn't stay on.  There was a power strip that had a couple things plugged into it.  I unplugged it and plugged what needs to stay on directly into the all.  The breaker seems to be staying on.  I'm hoping that was the fix because I really don't want to call an electrician.  Thankfully, we know a couple IRL. 

It's dreary today.  I'm feeling kinda blerg too. 

SSDD otherwise.  Prudie coming up. 

So sorry to step on your toes!!!  I posted Prudie since I had a break!

ei34

@Casadena @charlotte989875 I can see it being hard to bring an infant to daycare, sending all the vibes
Yikes @CharmedPam I'd want distance from that friend

SSDD remains here

mrsconn23

All good @Casadena!  I was fucking with my stupid breaker for the longest time trying to troubleshoot that.  Otherwise, I would have been on it earlier.  LOL 

VarunaTT

@CharmedPam I hope by strongly distance, you're meaning, "cut that person TF out!"  Whew, that is all just ridiculous.  Sometimes, I feel like the new growth and my age make me mean, b/c I have told someone who was very simllar, "You are a whole grown ass person, do it yourself."  Then I remind myself that I would absolutely help someone in need.  If I've said that to you, you've pushed beyond my boundaries after being informed of them.

@levioosa I thought it was getting better and my bosses both informed me it was not.  I feel like my memory is just absolutely shot.  It's still in that kinda funny stage, but if it lingers after 6 weeks (average seems to be about a month) I am going to see my doctor.  It's not really good for my job not to be able to recall facts easily.  Especially ones I've known for forever.

Ugh, I've gone out the last 2 nights just b/c I was so lonely and there's someone special in town that I wanted to see.  But it has absolutely caught up with me and I am reminded again that alcohol, even minimal amounts, just makes me feel gross now.  Plus, I liked how I was feeling and behaving alcohol free, so I'm going to have to start seeking my social life differently.  I'm not quite sure how that's going to look, but hey...I've gotten this far on all new stuffs, so this is just one more thing. 

Also, I'm almost 100% certain that the alcohol makes my night sweats so much worse, just terrible.  And they've been so bad the last 2 weeks anyway, that they're interfering with sleep.  I'm hesitant to go off my anti-depressant just yet, but that's what is causing them, I never had them before in my life and it's an uncommon known side effect.  I might start trying to titrate down for a bit and see what happens.  Last time I did that, it took about three days for me to think, NOPE, not ready for this.  But I'm in a much better place now too, so maybe.