A discussion for Wednesday

mrsconn23

SSDD, but this caught my eye this morning. 

Wut?  LOL 

MissKittyDanger

@mrsconn23 this is about as cracked as Fox News talking about Ottawa lol

banana468

Was this made by someone who doesn't ever see bills?

MyNameIsNot

I couldn't rent a studio in my mid cost of living city for $825/mo, unless maybe I shared it with a family of rats. But also it would be pretty rare for a 25 year old to be making that much money in a mid-COL area. Also, someone tell me where I sign up for $20 internet. 

mrsconn23

OMG, @MissKittyDanger.  I don't watch it, but a few podcasts I listen to talk about how Faux News has been frothing over the trucker protest.  It's not surprising, but the fact that they're trying to ascribe how politics work here to that situation makes them sound dumber than normal. 

Casadena

MyNameIsNot said:

I couldn't rent a studio in my mid cost of living city for $825/mo, unless maybe I shared it with a family of rats. But also it would be pretty rare for a 25 year old to be making that much money in a mid-COL area. Also, someone tell me where I sign up for $20 internet. 

or a $30 house cleaner?  wtf.

I've suggested Money Diaries from Refinery29 on here before and its a really interesting read a few times a week about what women spend money on.  Journal style with lots of background information on expenses, money philosophies, etc.  Might be a better source of info if this kind of thing is of interest to anyone.

STARMOON44

I mean if this 25 year old is living with 3 roommates and they split the cost of a once a month clean, maybe? I don’t know anyone who pays 800 rent and donates 600 

mrsconn23

Where are the 25 year olds making 6 figures?  

Also, where are the student loan payments? 

MissKittyDanger

mrsconn23 said:

OMG, @MissKittyDanger.  I don't watch it, but a few podcasts I listen to talk about how Faux News has been frothing over the trucker protest.  It's not surprising, but the fact that they're trying to ascribe how politics work here to that situation makes them sound dumber than normal. 

It's an entire fkn mess *heavy eye roll*

People are PRESSED about Trudeau bringing in Emergency Act - which historically the last time it was done it was called the War Measures Act {FLQ crisis} which was done by Daddy Trudeau

I AM TIRED OF LIVING IN HISTORIC TIMES

MissKittyDanger

mrsconn23 said:

Where are the 25 year olds making 6 figures?  

Also, where are the student loan payments? 

does it count if M will be making 6 figures by 32? {he was also lucky to not have student loan pymts because his parents were able to contribute and pay for it}

MyNameIsNot

Casadena said:

MyNameIsNot said:

I couldn't rent a studio in my mid cost of living city for $825/mo, unless maybe I shared it with a family of rats. But also it would be pretty rare for a 25 year old to be making that much money in a mid-COL area. Also, someone tell me where I sign up for $20 internet. 

or a $30 house cleaner?  wtf.

I've suggested Money Diaries from Refinery29 on here before and its a really interesting read a few times a week about what women spend money on.  Journal style with lots of background information on expenses, money philosophies, etc.  Might be a better source of info if this kind of thing is of interest to anyone.

I saw you rec Money Diaries before, and I love it! Except maybe the one where they made like $2M/yr and spent $4k on designer clothes. 

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

mrsconn23 said:

OMG, @MissKittyDanger.  I don't watch it, but a few podcasts I listen to talk about how Faux News has been frothing over the trucker protest.  It's not surprising, but the fact that they're trying to ascribe how politics work here to that situation makes them sound dumber than normal. 

It's an entire fkn mess *heavy eye roll*

People are PRESSED about Trudeau bringing in Emergency Act - which historically the last time it was done it was called the War Measures Act {FLQ crisis} which was done by Daddy Trudeau

I AM TIRED OF LIVING IN HISTORIC TIMES

Are they upset that he's bringing in the act because of the act itself and what it means or are they thinking that he's overstepping his boundaries or are they in full support of the truckers?

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

mrsconn23 said:

OMG, @MissKittyDanger.  I don't watch it, but a few podcasts I listen to talk about how Faux News has been frothing over the trucker protest.  It's not surprising, but the fact that they're trying to ascribe how politics work here to that situation makes them sound dumber than normal. 

It's an entire fkn mess *heavy eye roll*

People are PRESSED about Trudeau bringing in Emergency Act - which historically the last time it was done it was called the War Measures Act {FLQ crisis} which was done by Daddy Trudeau

I AM TIRED OF LIVING IN HISTORIC TIMES

Are they upset that he's bringing in the act because of the act itself and what it means or are they thinking that he's overstepping his boundaries or are they in full support of the truckers?

The ones mad about Trudeau doing it are pro convoy. They don't understand what basically Emerg Act is going to do also - aka give RCMP, etc more freedom to get them t.f OUT and essentially financially ruin them.

Our entire downtown core is so trashed right now, it's ridiculous. Luckily I don't have to be there, but MIL works near it and they've been reducing staff to keep too many people from being there.

I'm so glad the sites got doxxed for who gave money towards the convoy.
Our Minister of Education gave money and everyone hates him, so now he'll probably get ousted  

banana468

It's having an effect here in the US with freight companies already calling an embargo on specific cities and areas.   For a lot of people calling "choice" I think they're also the same people who are going to be frustrated when they can't get what they're wanting in stores.

mrsconn23

banana468 said:

It's having an effect here in the US with freight companies already calling an embargo on specific cities and areas.   For a lot of people calling "choice" I think they're also the same people who are going to be frustrated when they can't get what they're wanting in stores.

Yes, but the people who 'support' the truckers have never been afraid to go (or vote) against things that would help them/improve their lives because they gotta 'own the libs'.  

Casadena

MyNameIsNot said:

Casadena said:

MyNameIsNot said:

I couldn't rent a studio in my mid cost of living city for $825/mo, unless maybe I shared it with a family of rats. But also it would be pretty rare for a 25 year old to be making that much money in a mid-COL area. Also, someone tell me where I sign up for $20 internet. 

or a $30 house cleaner?  wtf.

I've suggested Money Diaries from Refinery29 on here before and its a really interesting read a few times a week about what women spend money on.  Journal style with lots of background information on expenses, money philosophies, etc.  Might be a better source of info if this kind of thing is of interest to anyone.

I saw you rec Money Diaries before, and I love it! Except maybe the one where they made like $2M/yr and spent $4k on designer clothes. 

oh that one was ridiculous!!!!  It's also fun to see the shit-shows like that sometimes, but i genuinely like most of them!

banana468

mrsconn23 said:

banana468 said:

It's having an effect here in the US with freight companies already calling an embargo on specific cities and areas.   For a lot of people calling "choice" I think they're also the same people who are going to be frustrated when they can't get what they're wanting in stores.

Yes, but the people who 'support' the truckers have never been afraid to go (or vote) against things that would help them/improve their lives because they gotta 'own the libs'.  

I also wonder how many of them just do not "get" the true impact that this has.

ei34

I saw that yesterday @mrsconn23 and was also left with a lot of questions.  The one I'm closest to is the monthly grocery bill.  My utilities have been insaneee the last 4-6 months so the utility bill is most offensive to me. 

I'm having the slowest week I can't believe it's not at least Thursday.

CharmedPam

None of that chart makes any sense. I’m head tilting all of it.
as a Candian citizen I feel like I should be paying attention to all this stuff, but our news coverage is like 30
seconds of this.  I have a ton of Canadian friends & family on FB, but nothing has really been posted! Weird. 

I am up on the Russian doping scandal though.  😡 

CharmedPam

ei34 said:

I saw that yesterday @mrsconn23 and was also left with a lot of questions.  The one I'm closest to is the monthly grocery bill.  My utilities have been insaneee the last 4-6 months so the utility bill is most offensive to me. 

I'm having the slowest week I can't believe it's not at least Thursday.

My new gas bill is like $195! I don’t even want to get into that. 

Casadena

So my IL's decided they wanted to downsize and just bought a house 14 minutes away from us....is it reasonable that i'm annoyed they didn't have a conversation with us about moving so close?  I know they can live wherever they want, but wouldn't you think a "hey we're looking in X place and I know it's way closer to you guys. Just want to chat about how you guys feel about us being so close?" would have been warranted?  I can't tell if i'm being unreasonable/annoyed because they just annoy me anyway re: lack of boundaries.  

MissKittyDanger

CharmedPam said:

None of that chart makes any sense. I’m head tilting all of it.
as a Candian citizen I feel like I should be paying attention to all this stuff, but our news coverage is like 30
seconds of this.  I have a ton of Canadian friends & family on FB, but nothing has really been posted! Weird. 

We don't want to associate with the trash happening  

banana468

Casadena said:

So my IL's decided they wanted to downsize and just bought a house 14 minutes away from us....is it reasonable that i'm annoyed they didn't have a conversation with us about moving so close?  I know they can live wherever they want, but wouldn't you think a "hey we're looking in X place and I know it's way closer to you guys. Just want to chat about how you guys feel about us being so close?" would have been warranted?  I can't tell if i'm being unreasonable/annoyed because they just annoy me anyway re: lack of boundaries.  

How close were they previously? 

If they already annoy you and there are boundary concerns then those will need to be reiterated (like if you are concerned about pushing limits do not give them a key, door codes, etc).  

That said, they absolutely are allowed to move where they want and 15 minutes doesn't mean there ALL the time.   Plus, as they age, being closer to you can likely be a benefit. As an example: in the last two years my dad had a stroke and can't drive and my mom is praising Covid because it allows her to stay inside and not go places plus she has control of my father.  It's not great and they live an hour away and I have two kids immersed in their own social lives.  I "get" that due to my dad's health complications and my mom's hating of driving it's a problem but now they're in their 70's, living in a Cape Cod with a washer/dryer in the basement, bathrooms upstairs, and one major event for my dad means he's likely not able to live at home and one for my mom means neither of them can.  I've been BEGGING for my mom to consider that owning the same home they have for 45 years is starting to be not efficient and a 55 and over community is far-better suited for them.  My ILs live in one in town and some are listed in town often.  My mom has just given me lines here and there and it's likely that there is going to be a time that I'll have to come down as 'the heavy".  I have financial POA that I haven't enforced because it's going to come with a fight.  But unless I suffer from a major catastrophic event for my own health, it's going to be likely that I'll be pulling myself in multiple directions driving an hour each way while also balancing the activities of my kids in middle school and high school and higher.   There will be a point that there may need to be a CTJ talk that I dread because the current arrangement is not sustainable.   To this date especially since my dad's stroke, the arrangement means that they haven't attended one soccer game for my kids.  My ILs have attended more than I can count.

It's a minimum for me to be out of my house for 2 hours to see them and that assumes I get to their house, throw something out of my car window and turn around.  It's far more likely that any trip to them is a half of a day.

Contrast that to my ILs who knew they needed to downsize and they looked at both our area and then talked to BIL.  BIL said, "Well....you can move out here (out of state by over 600 miles) if you live about 45 minutes away."  And FIL nicely told him to go pound sand and he can buy a home wherever he wants.  Also adding to the BS-meter is that BIL has an IL apartment in his house with the likely future plans that his MIL and FIL will live there.   There are issues that BIL has with MIL from childhood that were never rectified however FIL also needed to look out for their long term care. 

They then asked us what our thoughts were and we were happy to have them move close.  My kids ADORE my ILs.  And now despite some of our political differences we see them frequently and the visits are FAR more doable with the 7 minute drive between our homes.  We stopped by after church for just under an hour and it was fine. The boundaries are set.  They do not stop by without asking and neither do we.   And when MIL was rushed to the hospital with appendicitis, DH was able to see her on his way home from work.  When they go out of town we can watch their house.    There's going to be a time that my kids are too cool for their grandparents but right now they're loving being grandparents and my kids are loving that time.  I'll take it. 

mrsconn23

CharmedPam said:

ei34 said:

I saw that yesterday @mrsconn23 and was also left with a lot of questions.  The one I'm closest to is the monthly grocery bill.  My utilities have been insaneee the last 4-6 months so the utility bill is most offensive to me. 

I'm having the slowest week I can't believe it's not at least Thursday.

My new gas bill is like $195! I don’t even want to get into that. 

Our electric for last month was $380!   I about fell over. I was yelling at DH a lot to turn down the thermostat and put on a sweatshirt and slippers if he was cold, but it didn't feel like that much.  It was probably that and the cold snap that did us in.  

The month before it was almost $150 less.  Hoping this month is much better (which it has been weather wise).  DH has also been more cognizant of the thermostat setting and keeping it lower (fwiw, we keep our house at 65-67 and have an infrared heater that we run upstairs when it's super cold, so it's not like we're running a sauna here). 

Casadena

@banana468 knowing my IL's they'll 100% expect to see us exponentially more and be very irritating about wanting that.  We are totally fine setting boundaries and frequently do.  They are not good at communicating their thoughts/reasons/expectations and then notorious for being extremely passive aggressive when their unspoken assumptions are not met.  We know that's going to happen.  Honestly, we would have said "omg, of course buy a house where your comfortable and we hope you're really happy with the options."  But it's crazy to me that they didn't even think to say "Hey, this is what we're thinking, does this work for you guys or do you have thoughts about it?".  

My IL's are young (late 50's) so don't "need" to downsize yet so I think it's great that they are thinking about it before it's a necessity.  

ETA: they're 45 minutes away now.  H and I discussed at length that we did not want to be closer than that when we were looking to buy our home 4 years ago. 

STARMOON44

Casadena said:

So my IL's decided they wanted to downsize and just bought a house 14 minutes away from us....is it reasonable that i'm annoyed they didn't have a conversation with us about moving so close?  I know they can live wherever they want, but wouldn't you think a "hey we're looking in X place and I know it's way closer to you guys. Just want to chat about how you guys feel about us being so close?" would have been warranted?  I can't tell if i'm being unreasonable/annoyed because they just annoy me anyway re: lack of boundaries.  

It’s weird to me that they bought a house so close. But you guys aren’t close enough that at Any time in the house hunting process did they mention it. 

banana468

Casadena said:

@banana468 knowing my IL's they'll 100% expect to see us exponentially more and be very irritating about wanting that.  We are totally fine setting boundaries and frequently do.  They are not good at communicating their thoughts/reasons/expectations and then notorious for being extremely passive aggressive when their unspoken assumptions are not met.  We know that's going to happen.  Honestly, we would have said "omg, of course buy a house where your comfortable and we hope you're really happy with the options."  But it's crazy to me that they didn't even think to say "Hey, this is what we're thinking, does this work for you guys or do you have thoughts about it?".  

My IL's are young (late 50's) so don't "need" to downsize yet so I think it's great that they are thinking about it before it's a necessity.  

ETA: they're 45 minutes away now.  H and I discussed at length that we did not want to be closer than that when we were looking to buy our home 4 years ago. 

What's odd at that age (IMO) is that they're not tied to jobs keeping them near where they are.  

DH and I both have parents in their early-mid 70s.  The last person to stop working was FIL in 2017.   

Casadena

@STARMOON44 they have casually been looking all over the NW burbs (huge distance variance) for years just "keeping an eye out" but have never actually looked at anything.  They looked at this house last weekend (first one they've ever walked through), put an offer on it the same day and are closing in 2 weeks.  So not a ton of time to even catch up!!!

mrsconn23

That's really annoying they did that, @casadena.  Hopefully they're not as bad as you're anticipating, but boundaries are going to have to be an ongoing conversation with your H.  Definitely no house keys for them, LOL. 

The one pleasant surprise when FIL moved from 40ish min away to 10min away is that he doesn't typically come by unannounced.  And he's more prone to do it in the warmer weather when he's out riding on his bike.

banana468

@Casadena are you both able to start putting the boundaries out now and being vocal that you have plans?  

Yeah they can do what they want but they also can't demand your time.