Classic: Married by my ex

mrsconn23

I plan to be married soon. My fiancé and I don’t want a big to-do but would like to mark the occasion with a small ceremony and invite immediate family and a few close friends. This is a second marriage for both of us. My ex-husband and I remained civil to one another for the sake of our children. Once the hurt of our failed marriage had healed, we developed a friendship based on mutual interests and shared history. My fiancé and my ex get along well, and we occasionally socialize with him and his significant other. My ex is a judge and as such is able to perform weddings. My fiancé and I talked it over and would like to ask him to marry us. We haven’t asked him yet and aren’t sure he will agree, but we want to extend the invitation. Problem is when I mentioned our plan to my sisters, they had a fit. They said it would be tacky and would make other family members uncomfortable to have my ex marry us. I know it’s an unusual situation, but it is also something we’d really like to do. Are our plans just too “out there”?

banana468

Those are weird plans.  The LW and FI need to either own them or ask if they'll be comfortable entertaining that being the topic of conversation at the reception. 

charlotte989875

It’s weird but if it works for your family then who cares if it’s weird. 

I would stop telling people, yes until you ask him first, but also because if this good with the three of you, then it’s no one else’s business who marries you. Would they weigh in on any other judge or official you’d consider? 

Ask him first then go from there. If he says no then the rest is irrelevant. 

MyNameIsNot

Sure, it's weird, but so what. If you and your FI like the idea, who gives a damn what random family thinks? 

flantastic

The only people whose opinion I would solicit or care about in this matter are my kids'. Do they think it's a great thing, a sign that mom and dad can still get along so well? Will it be painful, a reminder that they wish their parents could have stayed together?

Everyone else is welcome to keep their opinions to themselves.

mrsconn23

IDK why LW is even bringing this up before getting confirmation from their officiant.  

But it's really not for anyone else to weigh in on beside LW and their FI.  So stop asking other people what they think. 

ei34

Might just be the place I'm currently in but I hate the idea.  Ditto @flantastic on running it by their kids.