Don't contact her or be around her unless totally necessary.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My sister desperately wants to be in a close relationship with me, but she is very insecure, loves drama, and is jealous of me. She cuts me down in passive aggressive ways and then gaslights me (telling me I am too sensitive or just denying something happened at all). I have no luck talking with her about things that have happened between us because she either denies it completely, cries and says I am mean and she is shocked I could feel that way about her, or dismisses me outright and tells me I am completely wrong to feel the way I do. I know I am short on details here, but what can I do to distance myself from someone who wants closeness that I find toxic? I don’t want a discussion about our relationship. I don’t want to try to fix it. I just want to be nice when I see her, and I’d like that to be once a year or less.

— Jealous Sister

banana468

You may need to avoid contact and not engage.  You will also need to accept the fact that if this is brought up you will be manipulated and the sister is going to react poorly. 

You can't control her - just yourself. 

mrsconn23

It's OK to not like your sister.  She doesn't sound likeable.  But, you can't make her understand why she's awful and it sounds like past attempts have crashed and burned.  

Don't reach out to her, don't make plans with her, just don't.  There may be a few times where contact with her is unavoidable.  Otherwise, just live your life knowing you are taking care of yourself by severely limiting contact. 

charlotte989875

Be nice when you see her and don’t engage in ways you’re not comfortable engaging. You don’t need to point out or justify all the ways she’s wrong, you just need to not be a part of it.