Dear Prudence,
After my husband died, I downsized into a one-bedroom garden cottage. I have always wanted a true green space but never had the opportunity with three children and several dogs. Then my sister got sick and had no place to go, so she moved in with me. We share the bedroom or alternate on the daybed I got to replace the couch. I love my sister and we get along fine, but the space is cramped. I usually visit my children at their homes instead of them coming here.
My daughter “Michelle” is 24 and works in a creative field in the big city. She has several roommates. Michelle dropped a bomb on me last week: She is currently pregnant from casual sex. She went home with a few different fellows and can’t get in contact with any of them. She wants to keep the baby. The problem is her roommates are not going to live with any infants, and her company doesn’t pay enough to cover the costs of raising a baby in the city by yourself. But, they were willing to have her work remotely. Michele’s solution is she moves in with me, and her aunt can watch the baby while she works. It will be “fine,” she says.
It will not be fine. My sister has a hard time doing anything more than sleeping after her treatments. Between two old ladies, chores are not so bad. Adding a baby in the mix would be. I told Michelle that wouldn’t fly. She needed to plan how she would be as a mother on her own while she still had the choice. She cried and called me the “bitch from hell.” I love my daughter, but I literally and figuratively can’t afford to take care of her and his baby. Not in space, time, or money. What do I do?
— No Room