Tuesday

ei34

At least at the time of this post, the least-favorite day is half over! (depending on your time zone and work schedule of course, lol)

ei34

I told my kids at bedtime last night that in exactly three weeks we'd be in Disney.  I told them about the vacation over Feb break but they got excited again since it's now so close...this morning at breakfast they wanted to talk about the hotel pool, the different rides, Mickey waffles, just all the fun stuff...and I was whispering answers, encouraging them to keep it down, since STBXH was sleeping 10' away.  He understands why he isn't coming on the trip but gets super butthurt when I bring it up for logistical purposes.  I'm so freaking sick of him still being around and part of household life but not part of family life.  So over this limbo.  *vent over* 

banana468

ei34 said:

I told my kids at bedtime last night that in exactly three weeks we'd be in Disney.  I told them about the vacation over Feb break but they got excited again since it's now so close...this morning at breakfast they wanted to talk about the hotel pool, the different rides, Mickey waffles, just all the fun stuff...and I was whispering answers, encouraging them to keep it down, since STBXH was sleeping 10' away.  He understands why he isn't coming on the trip but gets super butthurt when I bring it up for logistical purposes.  I'm so freaking sick of him still being around and part of household life but not part of family life.  So over this limbo.  *vent over* 

You could start wearing ears around the house....

Because he's been such a jerk are you able to have a provision or safety in place for the stuff he has access to that you don't want harmed when you're on vacation?   

I'm finally making progress at work with a new project for a customer.  It feels SO GOOD to not have something looming over my head and I'll feel better when I can feel like it's all buttoned up. 

I need to talk to DH to see if he wants to do anything for Chiquito's 1st Communion in May.  He's going to look so cute in his suit! 

MissKittyDanger

BK had been going through great phase of sleep and I was thinking we were back to normal ... well I didn't say it out loud but I thought it which obv jinxed myself.
BK was up with a cough - dry mouth, she's a tad stuffy with weather flux - then she was up screaming just before my alarm *sigh*

Tomorrow I'm getting my hair done before work. Serious chop and colour.
Maybe some purple.

CharmedPam

Vent away @ei34, it’s completely justified.  You’re going to have an awesome trip without him!

i just spent the last hr or so pricing tires for my car.  Argh.  I want to buy new or lease, but the prices and bad apr deals right now don’t make it worth it.  So I’ll be getting what needs to be done (tires and an air filter) and my parents tell me they have an inexpensive TRUSTY mechanic in their area that i can go to if I need anything in the future.  I’ll hang on for another year.. year and a half and see what the market looks like.  Right now my car sits low but I’ll just have to deal. I have 5 more car payments on it. 

short+sassy

My H took my truck to Firestone this morning.  I think I need brake work, my door is a little off kilter after a gust of wind yanked it (eye roll), and my a/c doesn't blow cold air.

They haven't called me yet, to give me the unfortunate verdict.  But, other than that, things are going well.

I've been lagging on processing other rental applications, in anticipation of our next units coming available, and I really need to get it in gear if I want to save myself time from having to do all of this over again for the next unit that will be ready soon.

ei34

Lol at the mouse ears suggestion @banana468.  Thanks @CharmedPam...I think being 1000 miles away from him will be one of my personal vacation highlights 

VarunaTT

Took the allergy test.  My back is still freaking itchy.  I'm allergic to everything grass, tree, weed, and mold. The only thing I wasn't allergic to was dust mites, which the doctor said was weird in this situation.  also found out my lungs are still clear (2 different breathing tests), so no long term covid stuff there.  She said I really didn't have asthma the way most people do, that it's 100% driven by allergies, which made me feel a lot better with personal observations over the years.

Walked into shit shows at work, one of which is my fault, the other which is not.  I'm still seeing some "this is messed up" from the month off due to covid and then my brain just not being all there.  It's getting a lot better, but I still don't feel at my normal levels.  Maybe like 70-80% mentally.  I just really want to have a "get my name out of your mouth" with a co-worker, but it won't get me anywhere.  She's building her own nest of bullshit, she can lay down in it.

Otherwise, SSDD.  Looking forward to getting all of this allergy stuff getting ready to go and under control.

banana468

@VarunaTT not Covid but when I was first pregnant with Chiquita my brain did weird things and I don't like it.   I hated looking at things and wondering what I was thinking when I wrote what I did. 

DH has some of the same allergies you do but it includes the dust.  We have no pets and he has taken a daily allergy med since before we started dating 18 yrs ago.  

climbingsingle

Phew, it has been a freaking day. I've been meaning to post since this morning but work is insane. 

@ei34 how soon until you can get him to leave?? The time I had to spend still living in the house with my ex while we waited for the lawyers to proceed/tell us it was OK was excruciating. I moved out Oct 2020, and the divorce still wasn't finalized until May 2021, a full year after I filed. 

Mostly SSDD. I hate my job. I'm PMSing so everything is extra annoying. However N and I are going to San Diego in June with a group of friends so I've been in planning mode during my breaks. I think we're going to spend 3 nights at a hotel with friends, and then stay for a few extra days in an Airbnb. I had originally wanted to rent a car and do another trip, but with gas prices how they are, it just won't be affordable. 

VarunaTT

banana468 said:

@VarunaTT not Covid but when I was first pregnant with Chiquita my brain did weird things and I don't like it.   I hated looking at things and wondering what I was thinking when I wrote what I did. 

DH has some of the same allergies you do but it includes the dust.  We have no pets and he has taken a daily allergy med since before we started dating 18 yrs ago.  

I've taken a daily allergy pill, sometimes 2, for years as well.  Being off of it for a week was miserable AF.  I just popped a bendryl and can already feel the itching and drainage slowing down.  I just took 1, so hopefully it doesn't knock me out.

I'm noticing the issue with my brain is that I absolutely cannot be distracted when doing something, b/c if I am, it doesn't get all the way finished and I totally forget about it.  That's where my 2 screwups have happened (scheduling specific things that requires multiple steps with multiple calendars).  I just apologized again and reminded my boss that I have specifically told him that I have noticed these issues and need him to be doublechecking my work right now.  I don't like being micromanaged, but I can recognize that I kinda need it right now.

Casadena

G had his one month biopsy last Friday and there is ZERO percent cancer in his bone marrow.  I didn't know that was even possible but holy crap we all cried so much when we got those results.  Technically he's in remission but we've still got about 3 years of treatment and maintenence ahead of us.  Everyone keeps telling us the firat month is the worst and I hope that's true bc it was miserable for everyone.  Now that he's done sith the steroids our happy energetic guy is slowly coming back!  We've played with lots of trains and Legos (laying down at time, he's still super weak) but he hasn't even asked to play in almost a month so it's definitely major progress!!!

ETA: for reference, almost 90% of the cells in his bone marrow were cancerous four weeks ago 

@levioosa congratulations!!  You look BEAUTIFUL

short+sassy

@Casadena, YYYYEEESSSS!!!!!  That is amazing news.  I know it's still a long road for you all but, to have him in remission so quickly must be the biggest relief ever!

It's so sweet and such a great sign that he wants to play.  Keep getting stronger, G!

banana468

@Casadena that is great news!  

levioosa

@Casadena I am so beyond happy for you guys!!!

CharmedPam

Amazing @Casadena, this is the news I want to hear!

missJeanLouise

Oh @Casadena that is such wonderful news, even I welled up just reading it. So happy for you guys. !!!!!!!!!

climbingsingle

@Casadena that is amazing news!!!! 

kvruns

wonderful news @Casadena

ei34

What incredible news @Casadena, thank you for sharing.  Sending all the healthiest vibes for these next few months and years!
@climbingsingle he has to move out 10 days after the divorce is finalized.  Which could be another couple of months or couple of years.  

kvruns

@ei34 is it taking so long because of the state/county or stbx stalling things?

climbingsingle

ei34 said:

What incredible news @Casadena, thank you for sharing.  Sending all the healthiest vibes for these next few months and years!
@climbingsingle he has to move out 10 days after the divorce is finalized.  Which could be another couple of months or couple of years.  

That is crazy! What the hell?? There's nothing your lawyer can do to get him out, even with all the shit he's done?

short+sassy

ei34 said:

What incredible news @Casadena, thank you for sharing.  Sending all the healthiest vibes for these next few months and years!
@climbingsingle he has to move out 10 days after the divorce is finalized.  Which could be another couple of months or couple of years.  

Granted, I don't know anything about legal separations/divorces, but it's terrible that courts can't do better than that!

No one should have to potentially be forced to live with their STBX-spouse for that long.

I sure hope it's more on the couple of months, side.  And that he has friends/family with couches.  Because it sounds like he is just cruising, until he is forced to leave, and doesn't have much of a plan.

charlotte989875

What wonderful news @casadena!!!! So so happy for you all! Yay for trains and legos! 

ei34

climbingsingle said:

ei34 said:

What incredible news @Casadena, thank you for sharing.  Sending all the healthiest vibes for these next few months and years!
@climbingsingle he has to move out 10 days after the divorce is finalized.  Which could be another couple of months or couple of years.  

That is crazy! What the hell?? There's nothing your lawyer can do to get him out, even with all the shit he's done?

SITB-
my lawyer sent him a "Stop harassing my client" letter, but he legally doesn't have to leave unless I file a police report against him.  So if he hit me, etc.  He's fully free to go but just won't.  I am also free to vacate and take the kids, and my parents have the room in their house, but the home we're currently living in is mine, not stbxh's, so I feel like I shouldn't have to go.

banana468

@ei34 when you go on vacation are there safeguards so he can't screw you over? I feel like he's the type to pull the "Are you sure you didn't put your grandmother's necklace somewhere else?" kind of bullshit.  

MyNameIsNot

@Casadena, That's fantastic news!! So happy for you all!

short+sassy

banana468 said:

@ei34 when you go on vacation are there safeguards so he can't screw you over? I feel like he's the type to pull the "Are you sure you didn't put your grandmother's necklace somewhere else?" kind of bullshit.  

Also guard sensitive paperwork and keep it elsewhere.

Edited to add:  I don't blame you for not wanting to leave the house that is only yours.  Whether you rent or own it, he could potentially cause a lot of damage...accidentally or on purpose (even worse)...and it could be awhile before you knew that.

ei34

@kvruns it's mostly bc he's taking the maximum amount of time in returning docs/signing things.  If he needs to have a doc in by 60 days, he returns it on the 59th day.
@banana468 / @short+sassy yes, my jewelry is already out of the house, my important paperwork is out of the house... items of zero monetary value but high in sentimental value are out of the house since I returned home from work one day to some cherished photographs ripped up and my hand-written recipe book destroyed.  I will take my macbook, tablet and work laptop when we leave for Disney, and just keep them at my parents' house while we're away.  Definitely a great suggestion, thank you!

CharmedPam

😡

MissKittyDanger

@Casadena OMG THAT'S CRAZY AMAZING!!!