Plus-ones for under 18

knottiedd189b40c9829696

I’m really struggling with giving my sister a plus one. She will be under the age of 18 but she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is not very respectful and has conducted himself in a manner very unacceptable at other events. He has made no initiative to get to know any of my family members and is very disrespectful and immature  in general in the way he talks and acts. I really don’t want an immature kid at my wedding but I know my sister is going to be very angry if he is not invited. I feel like saying that no one under 18 gets a plus one because I am not giving plus ones to any of the other students I worked. However, some people in my family say that it is rude not to invite him and my sister will cause drama if I don’t. I am also above my guest count in invites and I would rather give his place to a closer friend or their partner. What should I do in yalls opinion. 

charlotte989875

knottiedd189b40c9829696 said:

I’m really struggling with giving my sister a plus one. She will be under the age of 18 but she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is not very respectful and has conducted himself in a manner very unacceptable at other events. He has made no initiative to get to know any of my family members and is very disrespectful and immature  in general in the way he talks and acts. I really don’t want an immature kid at my wedding but I know my sister is going to be very angry if he is not invited. I feel like saying that no one under 18 gets a plus one because I am not giving plus ones to any of the other students I worked. However, some people in my family say that it is rude not to invite him and my sister will cause drama if I don’t. I am also above my guest count in invites and I would rather give his place to a closer friend or their partner. What should I do in yalls opinion. 

If it were me I’d let her bring her boyfriend. You’re rarely going to interact with him that day and it sounds like not inviting him will be more trouble than it’s worth. Especially for someone as close as a sister. 

If you’re really really don’t want to invite him you can simply not list him by name on an invitation. Don’t specifically say he’s not invited but it will mean if she asks you’ll have to tell her. 

banana468

This isn't a distant cousin - she's your sister.  Invite the BF.  You're going to be hugely busy at your own wedding that you're not going to see much of him.  

If you don't, you'll hear about it long after they're broken up. 

downtondiva

He sounds unpleasant, but he's your sister's boyfriend and you should still invite him. Chances are that you will not have to interact with him very much that day. The only exception I'd make is if by "unacceptable" behavior at other events, you mean that he was violent or threatening toward others. If he was just rude and immature, that's not enough reason to exclude him and upset your sister in the process.

MyNameIsNot

A boyfriend is not a plus one. A plus one is when someone is unattached and you invite them to bring a date of their choosing. 

As a general rule, it's not necessary to extend plus ones to teens, or even to invite teens with their significant others (as opposed to adults where you do have to invite s/o's). 

This is your sister, though. You're talking about a boyfriend that has been around long enough that he's been to other family events. Excluding him is petty and mean. This is not a hill to die on. 

climbingsingle

Invite the boyfriend. 

MobKaz

knottiedd189b40c9829696 said:

I’m really struggling with giving my sister a plus one. She will be under the age of 18 but she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is not very respectful and has conducted himself in a manner very unacceptable at other events. He has made no initiative to get to know any of my family members and is very disrespectful and immature  in general in the way he talks and acts. I really don’t want an immature kid at my wedding but I know my sister is going to be very angry if he is not invited. I feel like saying that no one under 18 gets a plus one because I am not giving plus ones to any of the other students I worked. However, some people in my family say that it is rude not to invite him and my sister will cause drama if I don’t. I am also above my guest count in invites and I would rather give his place to a closer friend or their partner. What should I do in yalls opinion. 

I am not a fan of rewarding petulant behavior (“My sister will cause drama……”).  However, you will for the most part not have to deal with this kid.  Seat him at a table with those that think he should be there and let them suffer the consequences. LOL. Perhaps you will get lucky and he will find the invitation unpalatable.

maine7mob

I'm with the others on this. Your sister will be your sister long after this guy is gone. And sometimes, teenagers (even immature ones) do surprise you by stepping up to the plate, especially when there is a room full of adults. Just make sure the bartenders and servers keep a close eye on things so that he (and other teens) don't have access to alcohol. 

VerizonGirl

If it's your parents' names on the top of your invitation, then it's your mom who is inviting people to attend the wedding that she's hosting - so turn this whole thing over to your mom.  She's the one who is going to have to be the host/parent at the actual event, so any drama will be handled by her.