Dear Prudence,
I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, Toby. Our relationship is without a doubt the healthiest I’ve ever had in my life (platonic or romantic). Kind, intimate, passionate, supportive, communicative and forgiving are all words that describe us. We are best friends, and above all, we are a team. His actions show he loves me. He goes out of his way every day to show how much he appreciates me. I came from an abusive, cloistered background. I do not ever take Toby’s love for granted; I’ve learned the hard way you aren’t guaranteed love.
Now here comes the hitch in this fairytale. Toby has a job that necessitates that he move to a new area of the country if he wants a promotion. This is his dream job, and I am extremely happy for him. However, I am beside myself as to what I should do. To say I adore my home state is an understatement; it is my lifeblood. I have been here my whole life. I feel a deep sense of familial heritage and belonging here. Frankly put, I absolutely do not want to move. Every time I think about this, it makes me sick. It feels like losing a part of myself. On the other hand, the idea of leaving my partner also makes me sick. I know a relationship like this is not easily replaced and I wouldn’t want it to be. We are truly compatible in every part of our lives except this.
— Gift of the Magi