Dear Prudence,
Last summer, my world crumbled when I found out my husband had an emotional affair with a coworker. This girl was 10 years younger, his subordinate, and insanely beautiful. We had been together since our early 20s, just had a child, and things in our life became routine. I guess coming home to a tired wife wasn’t sexy. To say this affair devastated me was an understatement, and I shut down and grieved in my own way. I didn’t want my child to suffer so I decided to stay.
During this time, while my self-esteem was being kicked, a coworker reached out and told me he had, in his words, a crush on me. This wasn’t the first time someone reached out but this time I went to a stage-5 clinger. I have no idea what came over me, but at that moment I became slightly obsessed and acted ridiculous. Said things I shouldn’t have and was a lot more vulnerable than I would have liked. This was completely out of character, and I am completely embarrassed about the things I said. I have to see this person every day and when I do, I cringe. I have no idea how to act without feeling like a complete loser. I have been with my husband for over 13 years and never so much as flirted with anyone until that moment. I have a stellar reputation within my field, which is male-dominated, and have always been “unattainable.” What’s worse is the feeling that maybe (most likely) I made this person uncomfortable and created a stressful working environment. How do I fix this? Do I address it and apologize? Leave it alone and hope my embarrassment eventually goes away? I can’t leave this job, and it doesn’t appear like he will be going anywhere anytime soon. We do small cordial talk and occasionally he’ll send an email with a flirty undertone, but I can’t look at him without feeling foolish. Ugh … maybe therapy?
— Just Dumb