How do I have a fun bachelorette if nobody drinks?
I know the question sounds awful, but hear me out. I am a 30-year-old woman marrying my wonderful husband this summer. Everything about the wedding is really nice, except for this one thing.
I have four bridesmaids, and three will not be drinking for the event. My maid of honor is three years sober, one bridesmaid stopped drinking for dietary/health reasons, and one bridesmaid is pregnant. Obviously, I DO NOT want to make them drink, given their reasons. I’m not worried about the wedding, but the bachelorette has me full of misplaced self-pity.
I’m not a big drinker myself, but I had wanted my bach to be fun and bonding and all the things I’ve experienced at the bachelorettes I’ve been to. Since childhood, I have suffered from pretty intense anxiety that manifests itself in public. I am very medicated and in therapy, but it still only does so much. Because of my anxiety, I missed a lot of the classic American girl rites of passage. I was very excited for my bachelorette, as kind of a chance to finally have that experience. I’m also worried that without drinking, my anxiety/personality won’t let me “kick back.” The girls don’t know each other, so my anxiety will be on high alert/hostess mode anyways.
I also feel left out. Around here, bachelorettes are typically multi-day destination affairs; for example, my eldest sister-in-law went to Miami, my next SIL did Vegas, my cousin-in-law did a week at Wrightsville Beach, and my closest SIL did a long weekend out at a lake in a gorgeous VRBO. Due to everyone’s schedules, my bach is the day before the rehearsal dinner, is one evening, and is obviously local. I already felt like I’m missing out a little, and with my girls not drinking, I really feel that way.
How do we have fun without alcohol? How do I not feel like I’m missing out? Are there ACTUAL fun things to do at a sober bach? I feel like all the ideas I’ve read are like “go bowling,” which just bums me out more. Despite my anxiety, I have a pretty high bar for adventure, and bowling won’t cut it. (No, cosmic bowling won’t cut it either.) I’m so torn between feeling sorry for myself, feeling like a spoiled jerk for feeling sorry for myself, and dreading my inevitably lame bach. What can I do?
— Bummed Out Bride