My (recently ex-)boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half and had lived together for a couple of months when I found out he still regularly masturbates to sex videos of himself and his ex, who is very beautiful and is now a minor celebrity. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with this and asked that he delete those videos. He didn’t want to, but I told him if he didn’t, we were through. I remained almost perfectly calm and stressed that he wasn’t necessarily doing anything wrong, I was just not comfortable with it personally and didn’t want to be in a relationship under those circumstances. He still wouldn’t delete the videos, so I did as I said I would and left, moving in with a female friend until I can get my own place again. My feeling is that if he chooses a few old videos over me, his love for me was never what I thought it was anyway.
But he continues to text and leave me voicemails, basically calling me a crazy, jealous b**** in one breath, and tearfully begging me to come back in the next—but without ever once offering to just delete the freaking videos. What gets me is, the friend I’m staying with and my other best friend both seem to agree with him, and think I should go back to him. My friend has plenty of room (I’m actually living in her pool house), so I think she just likes that he’s rich and good-looking, and they don’t think I can do any better. But I can’t see myself ever being OK with his holding onto and use of these videos. I doubt his ex would be thrilled about it if she knew, either. (Although she appears to have made the videos knowingly.) Am I completely wrongheaded or do I have the right to make this call?