Wedding Woes

This is too much...cancel or reschedule the damn thing.

Dear Prudence,

My brother and I are having a milestone party soon and our family has been helpful in both planning and gathering all of the food and stuff for this party. The problem is guests. I only have a few close friends and, in a turn of events, only one of them could show up. I’m not upset by this and I’m excited to hang out with him. I was relying on my brother to bring all the people in anyway.

However, my brother’s friends planned a getaway on the same date as our party and none of them will be able to attend. We found this out kind of early (like a week away from the party date) and I heavily encouraged my brother to go hang out with them. Everyone was cool with moving the party date to accommodate this. But my brother didn’t want to go with them and the party still stands. Now, nobody but my one friend will be there. My parents are pushing us to invite more people because there’s going to be a good amount of food, but I don’t know anybody else enough to invite them to this and apparently it’s too late to change the date. I told my friend about this problem and he said that he didn’t mind, but I don’t want him to feel awkward or obligated. I also don’t want my brother to feel weird at this pretty important thing because he can’t share it with his buddies and now I’m stressing about this! What should I do and how should I feel?

—Stressed Party Goer

Re: This is too much...cancel or reschedule the damn thing.

  • Why can't this be rescheduled?  Sometimes if it sounds too complicated it's not worth it. 
  • This sounds like a really dumb problem, IMO.  I mean, yes, a milestone bday is important and I understand wanting to celebrate it.   But the people you really want there aren't going to be there and honestly, it sounds like it's a little bit of a you problem since you didn't check their schedules before setting a date.  So now you're scrambling around to find a B-list?? And why are you parents even involved? 

    This is all just poor planning and a headache of LW and brother's creation. Postpone and ask people what works for them. 
  • The LW talks about all the family helping.  Aren't they coming?

    How big of a party could it have been anyway?  I assume the brother's friends who are going on a getaway aren't a group of 20+.

    I find this letter confusing and feel like I'm missing something, lol.
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    This sounds like a really dumb problem, IMO.  I mean, yes, a milestone bday is important and I understand wanting to celebrate it.   But the people you really want there aren't going to be there and honestly, it sounds like it's a little bit of a you problem since you didn't check their schedules before setting a date.  So now you're scrambling around to find a B-list?? And why are you parents even involved? 

    This is all just poor planning and a headache of LW and brother's creation. Postpone and ask people what works for them. 
    I guess it's a family party? Which makes me wonder why it can't just be a family party plus LW's friend?   Friends/people in general will be there if they can, sounds like the friends can't but I wouldn't bother rescheduling, either guests can make it or they can't *shrug*
  • I’m thinking the LW and brother are young- like 18/21 for milestone birthday and maybe that’s why the parents are really involved? Anyway- I’d still try and reschedule but if it’s too late- I’d hang out with your friend and your brother and enjoy their company. 

    But you feel however you do and know that’s validated you also can’t take responsibility for what your brother does or how he feels- those things, and the choice not to go with his friends, are on him. 
  • Hopefully a lot of that food is freezable

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