Wedding Woes

Are they insensitive or am I too sensitive? Or could it be both??

Dear Prudence,

I am preparing (within the next 30 days) to move out of the city that I’ve been living in the past seven years, to relocate to another state where my family lives. I’m leaving behind a great group of friends, and when I finally told them my plans about a month ago, they took the news pretty hard as I suspected they would, which is why I held off telling everyone as long as possible. I realize holding off was a mistake, but I did it because I don’t like the “fuss” this kind of news creates, which is exactly what happened. Now whenever I hang out with my friends, they are constantly harassing me about moving away, teasing how my new state sucks and I suck for moving, and on and on. At first I took this light heartedly and reassured them that I would still come visit even though I’ll be living several hours away. Now I’m just really over these comments, and it’s making it difficult for me to enjoy the last few weeks I have to see everyone. I find myself mentally preparing for the comments I’ll get when I go hang out with people. I get it, they will miss me and I will deeply miss them, but it’s getting incredibly annoying, and I’d like for it to stop. This is not the first time I’ve held off sharing “big news” to avoid this kind of thing, and let the resentment grow to the point where I get angry out of frustration. I can only stand hearing the same thing so many times. Can you give me some advice of what I can say to put these comments to a stop so I don’t end up saying something I regret right before I have to say “see you later”?

— Over the Jokes

Re: Are they insensitive or am I too sensitive? Or could it be both??

  • "If you keep making these kinds of comments you're making it easier for me to go."
  • Good lord, at what age do people start using their words?  If I thought I was teasing a friend and I was actually hurting their feelings or annoying them, I'd want them to tell me, so I could stop!  Just say, "Hey, I don't like this level of teasing, I think it's from a place of love, but please stop."
  • LW, stop punching yourself in the face and expecting it to hurt them.  Speak up.  Now. 

    If they don't respect and understand you, then why are they your friends?  Good thing you're moving to a new city and can make more. 
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