Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Asking a Priest to Marry You

Hi all, this is my first post on the forums, so my apologies in advance if I break any sort of forum etiquette.

We are planning on getting married in the Catholic Church next year and we'd would like a dear friend that is a priest to do the ceremony. My FH and I are currently long distance and plan on getting married in the town we are settling down in (about halfway between our hometowns, so two hours each way). My friend lives between this town and my hometown, so roughly an hour and a half away from the wedding location. Essentially what I'm getting at is that an in-person ask may not be very feasible due to travel and generally crazy schedules between all three of us. I'm not sure if I should just send a nice card asking him, or just give him a call?

So basically...what is the proper way to ask a priest to marry you? Thanks in advance!

Re: Asking a Priest to Marry You

  • geebee908geebee908 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited June 17
    Have you checked with the pastor of the parish as to whether your friend priest can marry you? It's usually not an issue, but the pastor of the parish has precedence in celebrating the sacraments in his parish. It would be good if you contacted him first and let him know you'd like to have your friend witness the sacrament, and ask if he's okay with that, if you haven't already. There may also be some paperwork involved if your friend isn't a priest of the diocese where the wedding will be performed.

    As far as asking your friend, just do in the same way you'd ask a friend to be in the wedding party, a personal call or visit where you ask if he'd be willing and able to do this for you.
  • I think a phone call is fine. 


  • maine7mobmaine7mob Maine, USA member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    If your priest friend isn't the parish priest for the church you are getting married in, you will need to call that church first to ask if your priest can do the ceremony and to find out the available dates. And once you've nailed that down, ask your friend. A phone call is fine.

    Also, the priest may have you speak with whoever in the parish keeps the schedule. My daughter and son-in-law had to nail down the church's available dates before asking the priest.
  • maine7mob said:
    If your priest friend isn't the parish priest for the church you are getting married in, you will need to call that church first to ask if your priest can do the ceremony and to find out the available dates. And once you've nailed that down, ask your friend. A phone call is fine.

    Also, the priest may have you speak with whoever in the parish keeps the schedule. My daughter and son-in-law had to nail down the church's available dates before asking the priest.
    Agreed that's a good approach.  We confirmed that a priest in the family could be used and confirmed the ceremony date before we asked my mom's cousin.  Our pre-cana went through the parish priest. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would suggest first and foremost that you register as a parishioner in the church in which you intend to marry and attend.  Meet with the Pastor of the church and discuss marriage requirements and dates.  Then discuss the permission process in order to have a visiting priest offer the Sacrament of Marriage.
    Once that has all been cleared, I would make a phone call rather than send a note.  It is more personal and you would then be able to directly and immediately answer any questions he may have .
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