Dear Prudence,
One of my neighbors is my closest friend, and another couple that lives nearby is part of our friend group. The wife of that couple (let’s call her Q because she likes to refer to herself as “Queen”) seems jealous of the friendship between my neighbor and me. She repeatedly demanded we be her best friends and that we were not including her enough, though she never invited us anywhere. Whenever I would say I had plans that didn’t include her, she would guilt trip me. I have been a friend to Q and invited her to my home to many parties, but between work, family, and other commitments, I don’t have more time to devote to her—which I’ve expressed to her.
Q and her husband have also been quite rude. They never bring food or drinks to our home when we cook out and ask them to bring something, then they invite themselves to our expensive liquor; they bring their own guests over when we ask for them not to; and they stay at our home hours after we ask them to leave. I feel like they use us for a good time and to swim in our pool. She even “broke up” with me through a text in the winter and didn’t speak to me until it got hot and then she wanted to hangout. Now that I’ve been distant, she has made pointed social media posts calling names to the friends she “lost.” Our financial situation has also changed, and we don’t have as many parties because it’s so expensive now, and our kids take up more of our time and disposable income.
My husband wants me to repair the relationship, but I feel uncomfortable around Q. Am I being overly dramatic, and how would you suggest moving forward with her? I would love to stay cordial, but I don’t want the emotional stress of being her friend.
— Girl Problems