Dear Prudence,
This might be a really obvious question, I don’t have a lot of dating experience so I’d love some advice.
I started dating my housemate three months ago. Bad idea, I know, but we are both mature and kind people, so we thought as long as we communicate honestly, things will be okay. The relationship has been good. We spend a lot of time together, he’s very sweet and great in bed, and I like him. We haven’t defined ourselves as bf/gf, but we are dating exclusively and he’s crazy about me. My only problem is that from the start, I’m not sure I saw a long-term future with him—he smokes weed and cigarettes occasionally, which I really dislike (and he says he will keep doing it), and we are from really different cultures and our families probably wouldn’t get along. So, great to date, but I’m not sure I could marry him.
No problem, right? Until this new guy comes in. We became friends, but we definitely click, and I’m pretty sure there could be something more if I was open to it. He’s kind and attractive but what’s more concerning is that he has the same cultural background as me and he doesn’t do any drugs. I only recently met him, so I don’t know a lot about him, but I’m immediately worried about the possibility that I end up liking this guy more than the guy I’m dating.
How should I think about this situation? If current guy and I were married, I would definitely not pursue this new friendship because I’m aware that I could develop feelings. I know current guy and I are just exclusively dating, but it somehow still feels wrong to put myself in a friendship where I know that might be the eventual downfall of this relationship. I always thought that honest communication would be the key, but I have no idea how I could communicate this. “Hey, just a heads up, I made a friend who I could end up falling for?”
— Worried Friendly Friend