Wedding Woes

Break-up with current guy no matter what happens next.

Dear Prudence,

This might be a really obvious question, I don’t have a lot of dating experience so I’d love some advice.

I started dating my housemate three months ago. Bad idea, I know, but we are both mature and kind people, so we thought as long as we communicate honestly, things will be okay. The relationship has been good. We spend a lot of time together, he’s very sweet and great in bed, and I like him. We haven’t defined ourselves as bf/gf, but we are dating exclusively and he’s crazy about me. My only problem is that from the start, I’m not sure I saw a long-term future with him—he smokes weed and cigarettes occasionally, which I really dislike (and he says he will keep doing it), and we are from really different cultures and our families probably wouldn’t get along. So, great to date, but I’m not sure I could marry him.

No problem, right? Until this new guy comes in. We became friends, but we definitely click, and I’m pretty sure there could be something more if I was open to it. He’s kind and attractive but what’s more concerning is that he has the same cultural background as me and he doesn’t do any drugs. I only recently met him, so I don’t know a lot about him, but I’m immediately worried about the possibility that I end up liking this guy more than the guy I’m dating.

How should I think about this situation? If current guy and I were married, I would definitely not pursue this new friendship because I’m aware that I could develop feelings. I know current guy and I are just exclusively dating, but it somehow still feels wrong to put myself in a friendship where I know that might be the eventual downfall of this relationship. I always thought that honest communication would be the key, but I have no idea how I could communicate this. “Hey, just a heads up, I made a friend who I could end up falling for?”

— Worried Friendly Friend

Re: Break-up with current guy no matter what happens next.

  • Move out and break up.


    STARMOON44short+sassyILoveBeachMusic
  • It’s been 3 months. 

    If you’re already thinking about sleeping with someone else then end what you have now because it’s not going work. You should also find another place to live because that’s going to get hella awkward fast. 
    banana468short+sassy
  • Aaannddd, this is why it's not a good idea to start a romantic relationship with your roommate, especially if you aren't that serious about them.

    Whether it's new friend or someone else, it sounds like the LW doesn't want to be exclusive with this guy.  They need to break it off and move out because anything else will be extremely awkward and uncomfortable.  Especially since the roommate sounds like he views the relationship in a more serious way than the LW.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • It’s been 3 months. 

    If you’re already thinking about sleeping with someone else then end what you have now because it’s not going work. You should also find another place to live because that’s going to get hella awkward fast. 
    This! 
  • Aaannddd, this is why it's not a good idea to start a romantic relationship with your roommate, especially if you aren't that serious about them.

    Whether it's new friend or someone else, it sounds like the LW doesn't want to be exclusive with this guy.  They need to break it off and move out because anything else will be extremely awkward and uncomfortable.  Especially since the roommate sounds like he views the relationship in a more serious way than the LW.

    FWIW I lived next door to DH - nearly Friend's style for a year.  We were friends long before that and I thought about dating him.

    I didn't make a move until after I moved 30 minutes away.  Who wants parking lot awkwardness? 

    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    Aaannddd, this is why it's not a good idea to start a romantic relationship with your roommate, especially if you aren't that serious about them.

    Whether it's new friend or someone else, it sounds like the LW doesn't want to be exclusive with this guy.  They need to break it off and move out because anything else will be extremely awkward and uncomfortable.  Especially since the roommate sounds like he views the relationship in a more serious way than the LW.

    FWIW I lived next door to DH - nearly Friend's style for a year.  We were friends long before that and I thought about dating him.

    I didn't make a move until after I moved 30 minutes away.  Who wants parking lot awkwardness? 

    I'm laughing that even "parking lot awkwardness" stopped you.  Totally understand!

    At least it all worked out in the end!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    charlotte989875
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