Wedding Woes

Wednesday

Apparently I said too much, lol.  Half the cubes in my current room are empty.  So I decided I was going to stay where I am, as long as possible since it didn't seem like the person coming to my cube was in a hurry.  A few coworkers this morning...no one that has anything to do with the move...had made a comment like, "You're still in your spot?"  I said something like, "Yeah, I have most of my stuff moved and can finish in only 5-10 minutes.  But I'm going to stay here, until the next person is ready."

And within 30ish minutes the person in charge of the move came over and asked if I needed help moving.  I told her "no", that almost everything was already moved over.  But I preferred to stay here until the next person was ready.  She told me (nicely) that he's ready and I'm causing a roadblock because someone else is moving into his spot.  Then someone else is moving into that person's spot.  And so on.  Okay (shrug).  I told her I had some important stuff to do this morning (I do), but I will be gone by the end of the day, if not sooner.  She said that was fine.

Oh well.  It was good while it lasted, lol.  I was just hoping to stay longer.

We have a big project going on today at one of our rental properties.  $3800 worth of replacing soffits and the car port roof, pfft.  It's a duplex and we also need to replace the entire ceiling for one of the units and some of the ceiling for the other one.  Unfortunately, soffit guy can't do the ceiling work.  But he "knows a guy", who can.  So we are crossing our fingers that his buddy comes out, gives us a reasonable quote, and we can get that work done also.

Y'all, I kid you not, we have been looking for THREE months, trying to find someone who would do both jobs.  Unreturned calls from dozens of people/companies.  A few who call back, but then don't show up to give a quote.  It's always been hard to get a good handy or trades person, but it's almost impossible right now.
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charlotte989875
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Re: Wednesday

  • We just had a replacement dishwasher delivered (one of the cycles didn't work on the original one) and noticed that it is putting out SO MUCH HEAT.  Our countertops are hot to the touch during the dry cycle.  Anyone dealt with this before?  What did you do? The installers said it's a typical complaint with just about every dishwasher they install but didn't really offer solutions other than trying a different one.  I'm worried it's going to damage our countertop and cabinet. 

    N is feeling better today so he is at school.  G is home with H again.  Need to mow the lawn in the next couple days and get a few things done around the house.  Plowing through some work things today and trying to squeeze in a quick workout at lunchtime.  
    charlotte989875
  • It's my 'first' Friday.  That's what everyone in the office calls it, LOL.  Slower day today.  I am itching to get stuff done, but IT or whatever gatekeepers we're waiting on are notoriously slow on getting access up and running.  But I am keeping busy with other stuff.  I just want to have all my 'stuff' so I can get a routine/daily structure going.  

    DefConn registers for middle school tomorrow and then he's off to MN with my dad.  

    DH has his annual guy's weekend and so I think I'm going to head to Cincy to chill with SIl and nephews.  Plus oldest nephew is playing in a tourney down there, so we'll go to one of his games to cheer him on. 
    levioosacharlotte989875
  • I slept terribly last night so I am tired. Not too much else is going on. My manager decided to wfh and then they’re off the next two days. I’m a litttttle annoyed but tbh I’ve been putting in less effort and I know I’m probably leaving soon so I’m trying not to let it get to me. Otherwise SSDD. 


    image
    mrsconn23charlotte989875
  • @Casadena, no idea! Never heard of that but actually I usually put my dishwasher on and then leave it so I wouldn’t know if it overheats? I’m not very detailed oriented though.

    Yesterday I was able to catch up with a friend from my divorce meetup over dinner. She had 2 hours without her kids so that was nice to meet. Tonight is the dentist and a meetup dinner after it. I have a raging headache I hope is gone by then.  We get “dinged” if we don’t show up.  Three strikes and you’re out (even if I’m cool with the organizer). 

  • It's going to be in the 90s today.

    Snarky mom in me: I picked the kids up from camp aftercare yesterday and the head counselor said, "Just to let you know, beach day is still on."  I asked why it wouldn't be on and apparently a ton of parents have called because they are nervous about a beach day (8-1) for the kids when it's going to be a high in the low 90s.  

    I'm not sure where their parents are planning to go but isn't the beach where YOU would consider going in the heat?  The place where the kids go is also a park with a ton of trees and a pavilion with a roof over it.  I'm not loving heat either but this is also a day ending in Y for people in other states.    I am wondering who the parents are that are going to keep their kids inside rather than...wet.

    I sent Chiquito off with strict instructions to keep his swim shirt ON.  He's sunscreened and hopefully having a great time. 

    Chiquita I swear needs to have her period NOW.  The preteen mood is here and I am ready to book a trip to the spa to compensate for the reason that EVERY.LITTLE.THING can be  a mood.  I told her that quite frankly she has to work on controlling her reaction because if you stomp off in a huff because someone touched your Rubix cube (literally yesterday at pickup) you are going to be a pain to be around AND cruel kids will do things to piss you off because they think it's funny.  

    We have interesting news on the boat front.  Yesterday FIL got a call from the other marina in town with a pool and they have an opening.  If this works, we'll put the new (to us) boat in the new marina, the one that we're selling will go into the rack storage (it's inside and you call an hour ahead for your boat to be taken out by crane) and then we'll have to say goodbye to the marina that we knew since 2018.  It can be really clique-y there and while we aren't in the "cool" group we hit it off with a family with young kids this year and Chiquito and their son have become buds.  I need to reach out to the mom so we can continue to keep in touch and talked to her last night so that this is not goodbye - getting together will now just require more coordination.


    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    It's going to be in the 90s today.

    Snarky mom in me: I picked the kids up from camp aftercare yesterday and the head counselor said, "Just to let you know, beach day is still on."  I asked why it wouldn't be on and apparently a ton of parents have called because they are nervous about a beach day (8-1) for the kids when it's going to be a high in the low 90s.  

    I'm not sure where their parents are planning to go but isn't the beach where YOU would consider going in the heat?  The place where the kids go is also a park with a ton of trees and a pavilion with a roof over it.  I'm not loving heat either but this is also a day ending in Y for people in other states.    I am wondering who the parents are that are going to keep their kids inside rather than...wet.
    So true!  I'm reading this with a head tilt and saying to myself, "Okay.  And?"  The beach is GREAT when it's hot.  I wish I was there now.  I also wish it was in the low 90s, instead of mid 90s, lol.
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  • It’s also a million degrees here and I’m still not feeling good. 

    I got my new job change and it’s wrong. My boss was like “well we got you transferred” umm no that’s not the point. I’m trying to calm down before I respond. 
  • banana468 said:
    It's going to be in the 90s today.

    Snarky mom in me: I picked the kids up from camp aftercare yesterday and the head counselor said, "Just to let you know, beach day is still on."  I asked why it wouldn't be on and apparently a ton of parents have called because they are nervous about a beach day (8-1) for the kids when it's going to be a high in the low 90s.  

    I'm not sure where their parents are planning to go but isn't the beach where YOU would consider going in the heat?  The place where the kids go is also a park with a ton of trees and a pavilion with a roof over it.  I'm not loving heat either but this is also a day ending in Y for people in other states.    I am wondering who the parents are that are going to keep their kids inside rather than...wet.
    So true!  I'm reading this with a head tilt and saying to myself, "Okay.  And?"  The beach is GREAT when it's hot.  I wish I was there now.  I also wish it was in the low 90s, instead of mid 90s, lol.
    Yeah - I talked to Chiquito in the car yesterday.

    B: So Buddy, if you get hot what do you do?
    C: Go in the water?  
    B: Yup!  And then if the water gets you cold, what do you do? 
    C: Get out of the water?
    B: Yup!  And then if you get hot outside what do you do? 
    C: ::picking up where this is going:: Go back in.
    B: And if you get cold?
    C: Get out.

    Right - this is how it works.  We live in a waterfront town.  We are lucky enough to have the water right here.  My town is full of complainers but being irritated that kids are going to the beach on a hot day is a NEW ONE. 
    charlotte989875MissKittyDanger
  • Oh I hate the beach on a hot day and I’d keep my fictional kids home. My mom would have done the same. Too much sun too easy to get heat stroke. I wouldn’t like try to have camp cancel it for others but def not for me! Above 85 and I won’t do the beach. 
    charlotte989875ei34
  • Is it not typical for temps to get into the 90s out east?  I've never paid that much attention.  I know a heat wave is going through but it's very normal for July in the midwest to be 90-100 so i never really gave it much thought.  @banana468 I also think it's ridiculous to complain about going to the beach when it's hot out.  
    MobKazILoveBeachMusic
  • With this heat, for me it depends on the location. I'd rather beach vs splash pad because one beach we go to has a ton of shade.
    Also beaches here, seem to get more breeze so it's not deadly heat.
  • So I finally broke down and called in for some alumni project my alma mater is doing.

    It was verifying my contact information and then giving an "oral history" of my time at CSUSM.  I'm glad they asked me a few open ended questions to guide that.  I even told the guy before I started that I didn't have much to say.  Plus I knew it was going to be recorded.  I did my best not to "uhm" and mis-speak, but that's also hard to do when I didn't know what the questions would be, ahead of time.

    Of course, as suspected, it seems like it was all a big fundraiser.  After I gave my oral history, I was given the opportunity to purchase the blah, blah "pack".  Which, once the project is over, will include a hardbound book of all personal stories told along with the audio recordings.  Plus a CSUSM embroidered tote bag, sweatshirt, and tee-shirt.  Shipping included.

    All of that for two payments of $224.99.  I envisioned a cartoon character spitting out their beverage, in shock.  I told him I wasn't interested.

    Then the negotiating started.  If they drop the tote bag, it brings the cost down by $110.  Me thinking, "$110 tote bag?!?!  Yeesh."  No, thank-you.  And added, "I know this doesn't sound very nice, but I went there 25 years ago and then moved halfway across the country.  I'm not interested in anything that's in the package."

    I get it.  He has a script (sigh).  So then he offers me just the book with the audios, for two payments of $89.  I wouldn't want it cluttering my house, even if it were free, lol.  But I nicely said no.  Again.

    I know there are a lot of people who are super gung-ho about their alma mater.  But I am not.  Not even the slightest bit, lol.  No reflection on CSUSM.  It was fine.  I got my bachelor's on the cheap (relatively speaking).  I enjoyed that time in my life.  But it also feels like a lifetime ago and I have no ties. 
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  • It'll be low 90s here today.  Currently it's 91.  That's hot for CT especially at the shoreline. 

    Between the two water bottles, beach, slip and slide and water play, he should be cool - and at this point he's in after care which is air conditioned.   If it was a full day I'd agree but they're leaving the beach at peak heat.


    Casadenacharlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    It'll be low 90s here today.  Currently it's 91.  That's hot for CT especially at the shoreline. 

    Between the two water bottles, beach, slip and slide and water play, he should be cool - and at this point he's in after care which is air conditioned.   If it was a full day I'd agree but they're leaving the beach at peak heat.
    Agreed.  All day could be a bit much.

    I grew up in a SoCal beach town and often spent the entire day at the beach.  But the temps don't usually get higher than the low 80s.  And the Pacific Ocean is COLD, lol.

    Now my closest, decent beach is the FL Gulf Coast.  It definitely gets in the 90s there.  But we stay at hotels on the beachfront.  So it's easy to go back and forth between the beach, pool, and hotel room.  So we probably don't spend more than 3-4 hours at any one time at the beach.   
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    Casadenacharlotte989875
  • Yeah, LI sound is likely in the mid 70s for temp so it's tolerable and because the kids are in the bay and not the ocean, the waves are SUPER tame. 


  • For reference here, today it's 84 before humidex.
    102 after humidex.
    charlotte989875
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @charlotte989875 sorry if I missed it- was there supposed to be a job change?  Was it wanted but now not going how it was supposed to?
    @banana468 we're in the same heat wave* and I'm with starmoon that this isn't beach weather (personally).  We've been at the pool every day bc it's easier to be in longer, and I can hop out and be on a chair in the shade and the kids can stay in solo for a bit.  The beach the minute you're out of the water you're roasting.  Is there a super-air-conditioned room or movie theater instead lol?
    @MyNameIsNot how are you feeling?
    @levioosa ugh sorry about the sleep issues, last night and recently

    *I know other parts of the country have it worse...we typically have a week or two of temps in the 90s, but summer is mostly highs of 84-85 here, thankfully.

    I'm $2,000 poorer since my last update.  Officially moved to a contested divorce.  I was reassured in writing from my lawyer and the partner of the firm who is a specialized divorce lawyer that a divorce can still happen even if only one person wants it, bc stbxh has been consistent in one area, and that is that he's not signing anything or appearing in court or agreeing with any aspect of the divorce.  But I was promised that I will eventually be issued a divorce on default after an inquest...I sign off and the judge signs off in place of stbxh.  Good times...
    charlotte989875short+sassyMyNameIsNotmrsconn23
  • ei34 said:
    @charlotte989875 sorry if I missed it- was there supposed to be a job change?  Was it wanted but now not going how it was supposed to?
    @banana468 we're in the same heat wave* and I'm with starmoon that this isn't beach weather (personally).  We've been at the pool every day bc it's easier to be in longer, and I can hop out and be on a chair in the shade and the kids can stay in solo for a bit.  The beach the minute you're out of the water you're roasting.  Is there a super-air-conditioned room or movie theater instead lol?
    @MyNameIsNot how are you feeling?
    @levioosa ugh sorry about the sleep issues, last night and recently

    *I know other parts of the country have it worse...we typically have a week or two of temps in the 90s, but summer is mostly highs of 84-85 here, thankfully.

    I'm $2,000 poorer since my last update.  Officially moved to a contested divorce.  I was reassured in writing from my lawyer and the partner of the firm who is a specialized divorce lawyer that a divorce can still happen even if only one person wants it, bc stbxh has been consistent in one area, and that is that he's not signing anything or appearing in court or agreeing with any aspect of the divorce.  But I was promised that I will eventually be issued a divorce on default after an inquest...I sign off and the judge signs off in place of stbxh.  Good times...
    Oh as far as the beach goes, I'm not there.  The counselors are there.  I'm also super pale with vitiligo so I'm an afternoon fan of the beach unless I have the day off and then if DH is with me we'll be on the boat where there's more breeze.

    @ei34 does this at least mean that you're closer to being divorced?  How does it work for anything you're owed if he refuses to sign?  
    Casadenacharlotte989875ei34
  • It’s 93 degrees here today, much hotter than normal plus very high humidity and the air quality is “moderate” (normally it’s good here). So compared to tiger places I know this doesn’t seem bad, but not all homes are set up for this type of heat. Many don’t have central air conditioning (ours doesn’t), schools don’t (so any rec/ summer programs there don’t have AC), and with unhoused populations we don’t reliably have cooling stations set up. So it can be dangerous in our areas even though it’s not “bad” compared to our west. 
  • Sort of @ei34. When I changed jobs last year to move to the DEI office it’s was a “sprint” to see it it would work and I just ended up staying. My manager (my new one( was supportive of bringing me into the team officially and full time, which is what this job change was supposed to be. A big sticking point for me was the job title & description- which is wrong. So I’m officially part of the team but the title isn’t right and I don’t know what the process is to fix it. 
    ei34
  • @ei34, I'm sorry to hear that!  What a petty, little AH.  Especially since you all had agreed on everything and the only reason he didn't sign is because he doesn't want to get divorced.  I hope your attorney can make him responsible for the additional legal costs or something that's equivalent.

    I've heard it's a similar process if one of the parties left for parts unknown and can't be found to sign divorce papers.  They don't want people to be forced to stay married, just because their spouse disappeared.

    I took a First Time Homebuyer's course before I bought my first house.  It was 4 nights and, each night, a professional who is part of the home buying process would talk about that step and give advice.  

    The RE attorney told us a crazy story about a missing spouse.  A woman had gotten married young.  But just a few months later, her H went to grab something from the store and never came back.  She never heard from him again and, supposedly, his friends/family didn't know where he was either.  But she never bothered getting a divorce.

    About 15 years go by.  She buys her first home.  About two months later, the long forgotten H comes out of the woodwork.  Looking for his half of the home's equity.  She had divorce papers drawn up where he didn't get any part of the house.  But she had to pay him off something like $5K to get him to sign it and go away.
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    charlotte989875ei34
  • banana468 said:
    It's going to be in the 90s today.

    Snarky mom in me: I picked the kids up from camp aftercare yesterday and the head counselor said, "Just to let you know, beach day is still on."  I asked why it wouldn't be on and apparently a ton of parents have called because they are nervous about a beach day (8-1) for the kids when it's going to be a high in the low 90s.  

    I'm not sure where their parents are planning to go but isn't the beach where YOU would consider going in the heat?  The place where the kids go is also a park with a ton of trees and a pavilion with a roof over it.  I'm not loving heat either but this is also a day ending in Y for people in other states.    I am wondering who the parents are that are going to keep their kids inside rather than...wet.
    So true!  I'm reading this with a head tilt and saying to myself, "Okay.  And?"  The beach is GREAT when it's hot.  I wish I was there now.  I also wish it was in the low 90s, instead of mid 90s, lol.
    Right? When we went on vacation with our kids when they were little, it was always in the high 90's (South Carolina). We were at the beach/pool every day for hours! Those days will be returning as the twins start school and we are married to school vacation days.
  • Re: the beach, I'd much rather be there on a 90+ day! There's always a breeze and the water is always cold and refreshing. 

    @ei34 I'm sorry that dick won't just sign the paperwork. How frustrating! I can't remember - is he still living with you??
    ei34
  • banana468 said:
    It'll be low 90s here today.  Currently it's 91.  That's hot for CT especially at the shoreline. 

    Between the two water bottles, beach, slip and slide and water play, he should be cool - and at this point he's in after care which is air conditioned.   If it was a full day I'd agree but they're leaving the beach at peak heat.


    I’m always shocked slip and slides are still in existence! One of my friends kids just fractured his leg in multiple places using one at camp.  
  • @ei34, thanks for checking, I'm doing really well! Still have some physical limitations, but going back to work next week, which is good because I'm bored and passing the time walking around target. 
    Casadenacharlotte989875ei34
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    It'll be low 90s here today.  Currently it's 91.  That's hot for CT especially at the shoreline. 

    Between the two water bottles, beach, slip and slide and water play, he should be cool - and at this point he's in after care which is air conditioned.   If it was a full day I'd agree but they're leaving the beach at peak heat.


    I’m always shocked slip and slides are still in existence! One of my friends kids just fractured his leg in multiple places using one at camp.  
    I feel that way about the prevalence of trampolines.  
    Yes my two pediatrician friends are team no trampolines, no guns, and no football. And other than that very chill parents!
    Casadenacharlotte989875levioosaei34
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    It'll be low 90s here today.  Currently it's 91.  That's hot for CT especially at the shoreline. 

    Between the two water bottles, beach, slip and slide and water play, he should be cool - and at this point he's in after care which is air conditioned.   If it was a full day I'd agree but they're leaving the beach at peak heat.


    I’m always shocked slip and slides are still in existence! One of my friends kids just fractured his leg in multiple places using one at camp.  
    I feel that way about the prevalence of trampolines.  
    Yes my two pediatrician friends are team no trampolines, no guns, and no football. And other than that very chill parents!
    NO FOOTBALL..

    I'm relieved that my kids haven't asked to play.  Knowing that my daughter can head the ball in soccer this year is going to be hard enough - and even then I know at least the local level is not super in favor.
    charlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    It'll be low 90s here today.  Currently it's 91.  That's hot for CT especially at the shoreline. 

    Between the two water bottles, beach, slip and slide and water play, he should be cool - and at this point he's in after care which is air conditioned.   If it was a full day I'd agree but they're leaving the beach at peak heat.


    I’m always shocked slip and slides are still in existence! One of my friends kids just fractured his leg in multiple places using one at camp.  
    I feel that way about the prevalence of trampolines.  
    I ban trampolines in all of my leases.  I looked up the stats before I did it, just to make sure I wasn't being too paranoid.  I wasn't.

    In the US, there are 100K ER visits every year, related to trampoline use.  Over 90% of those people are children under the age of 16.  There are around 30K injuries involving a broken bone, every year.  People have also died or suffered permanent neurological damage from trampoline injuries.  That last part is rarer, but it happens.

    I was under contract to buy a duplex.  One of the tenants living there had a big trampoline in the front yard.  No fence.  Any random child or person walking down the street could go play on that trampoline.  Oh, hell no.  I actually had it in my Purchase Agreement that the trampoline would be removed before closing.  As it turned out, I backed out of the deal after my inspection.
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    charlotte989875
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