Wedding Woes

You can't manage him, so you have to decide if they're worth the invite.

Dear Prudence,

What’s the etiquette when you don’t like your friend’s husband? I have a good group of girlfriends from college, and I love all their partners … minus one. He hasn’t done anything, I just don’t enjoy his company. When he’s in a bad mood, he pouts and snipes at my friend. When he’s in a good mood, he tells long, boring stories. One way or another, he wants to be the center of attention (he’s the guy who has a great voice, and so always wants to do karaoke when we’re hanging out). Our friend knows that we don’t like it when he makes a big production of sulking. But there’s also not a ton she can do about that, and he insists on coming even when he knows he’ll be a killjoy,

So far, our strategy has been to do more and more “girls’ nights,” but that sucks because I miss the rest of the other halves. One of their partners is also nonbinary femme, so it feels weird to divide the group along gender lines—but since half of our husbands (mine included) were also in our friend group in college, saying we were doing “college friends only” would mostly just be excluding the guy we don’t like and catching another partner in the crossfire.

Any tips? Should I talk to my friend again? Should we try to manage his behavior better?

— Keep Him Home


Re: You can't manage him, so you have to decide if they're worth the invite.

  • Just don’t invite this couple. You dont need to try and make up weird little categories. Just don’t invite these two. 
    mrsconn23banana468ei34
  • You can like the wife, feel bad for her, and also not support her choice of husband because she knows he's obnoxious.  Not getting an invite is a consequence of being an obnoxious, conversation-dominating, boor or having one as your partner. It sucks, but he's killing the vibe. 
    STARMOON44banana468charlotte989875short+sassy
  • It sucks but unless you want to say, "You aren't getting invited because he sucks," then don't invite them and say nothing. 
    mrsconn23
  • It's too bad the guy also has to be the center of attention.  Then it would be easier to just exchange pleasantries and not interact with him that much.

    It's not just on the LW, though.  They don't do all the arranging or inviting.  But it sounds like this has been discussed with the others or at least is "understood".  Because the LW talks about there have been more girl's nights.  But especially if it's been openly discussed in the group anyway, albeit probably without the woman married to this guy, she could suggest they stop inviting this couple as much. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Call him out on his shitty behavior in the moment or just don't invite them both. You can have girls nights and big group nights.  I dont' know how old everyone is here but this feels younger to me and i'm guessing this problem will solve itself eventually as people get a little older and grow apart naturally a little more. 
    ei34
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